Here and There

New year update

2012-01-01T17:26:00.004+09:00

Hi Ladies,

It's been quite a while since the last update. I'm still following the blogs of the few remaining people who still follow me every six months. The crazy vegan, my virtual mate Col in India, Deported Mike, Hexagonsun, and of course my compadrés from the IOK.

Speaking about crazy vegans, I myself kinda converted to the diet a few months back. I'm not a vegeta(r)(l)ian, though, as I still eat fish, seafood, reptiles, eggs, milk, cheese, etc. If you ask me, proper vegetarians are leaving behind them important and healthy vitamin sources. And if you still ask me, Vegetalians are simply insane. How did it happen? How a red-meat lover such as me could convert to such heresy? Well, one gloomy afternoon I watched a documentary called Forks over Knives. After finishing the documentary, I decided to look into my diet, read about the effects of meat, protein contents in plants, vegetarianism and musculation, vitamin lacks, and so fourth. Now, I do not recommend you Forks over Knives. It's complete rubbish. But it's easy to watch and could light the sparkle of what could be one of the most important health choices in your life. Funny enough, I do ingest more proteins (I do not take ANY supplement) than when I was a carnivore.

The real big news is family related. We are now 5 members in the baekseju family. Madame and I are the happy (super busy) parents of two (non-identical) twin boys. The circumstances were very painful, but all is and will be alright in the end. I'm in heaven with both my daughter and the boys. They smile and laugh all the time (and of course cry and shout). My eldest boy (he's 32 seconds older than his little brother) is so strong that I'm going to send him to Judo or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu by the time he turns 4. My youngest son is so quick and fast, that I'll send him to Taekwondo or Savate (French Boxe). I would love to post a picture of my three babies, but internet privacy is first. In order to help my wife when I'm at work, we're hiring au-pairs on 3 months contracts. We had a Polish girl, a Korean one, and starting next week we'll have a Slovenian chick until early April.

Since the boys were born, I gathered enough cash to extend our house, therefore adding a bedroom for the aupair, a proper living room and a bathroom for giving the bath to the babies all at once. Only cost us a dozen K, since my Dad owns a construction company, so all was done at cost prices. I found and picked a second hand bar, which is impatiently waiting to be put in our living room. Of course, a proper kegerator will be added to said bar.

Career related, I've been given many responsibilities lately, since our management was completely replaced. It's annoying and interesting at the same time. I often have to travel to the North-East in order to train people in one of our factories. So I usually spend half my day in traffic jam. Starting January 5th, I'll have to participate to some 6sigma black-belt bullshit 14 weeks program too. As I said, it's annoying but interesting. I work for Airbus and Boeing's main maintenance French subcontractor. I sell and monitor plane parts repairs. I used to handle all the Asian Airlines, but I've been attributed the North American Airlines. So basically, if you can board a plane on time, there are 50% chances that it's thanks to me and my mates from the factories (You can kiss and/or worship me later.).

I've also started a distance Masters Degree in Poitiers University, major Management. I'm most likely going to fail, given the fact that I have too many things to handle at once, but at least I'll do my best. When the program is over, I'm gonna start either Taekwondo or French Boxe, and enroll the Airforce Reserve or French Foreign Legion Reserve for a year or so. What I would love is to be selected for Opex (Foreign assignments) for the 20-30 days of yearly service I'll have to give to the force.

Yesterday we had a quiet new year's eve at home with Madame. I cooked crawfish, lobster, pasta and mushroom sauté à la crême, salad and galette. Of course, some nice Red Merlot Millésime 2010 during the meal, and some Pink Champagne to top it. We watched a nice animation movie (The Tale of Despereaux) and went to bed before midnight. Fuck new year's eve, it's a good excuse for me to eat and drink, but I'm not going to look at the clock like a dumbass.

Well, that's it for now. Kiss kiss,

Hoi

2011-07-03T00:46:00.004+09:00

Hey Ladies,

It's been quite a while. Some problems hold me back from holding this diary more often. Since I've signed a confidentiality clause concerning said problem, I won't be able to share with you about it. Just don't worry, it's insane and is the first time that it's happening in the world, but is not life threatening. The family is doing okay.

News are okay. I've signed the full contract in my company (I was on a temporary one), starting July 1st which is pretty slick. My -former- favorite colleagues whom are on temporary contracts are pretty upset and are pretty much making me feel their dislike. Oh well, fuck it. Work is just a way to make money for the family. Real life starts when I get home. My package is pretty great. 13 months wage per year, yearly bonus, interestment, great works council (advantages, refunds, etc...), associations, etc... First thing I've done with that unlimited contract is to join the Company's Fishing Association. In the end of the year, I'm going to apply for that Air Force Reserve Training, which is pretty cool.

Family is doing okay. We're going to extend the house, but need to fill the proper permit request and shit. My Dad has a construction business, so it should be affordable. I plan on turning the living-room into a fucking movie theater. Projector, movie-theater seats, 7.1 audio, kegerator, etc...

My daughter is now almost 8 months old, and she's starting her "Dad is my superstar" phase. I'm melting like butter each time she's saying/yelling/calling "Appa"!!!

I'm not taking any holiday this summer, but I'm sending my wife and daughter in Corsica (French Island in the Méditerranée) with my parents for a week. I'm gonna miss them, but it'll be cool to have some time for myself. We will go on a road-trip in Eastern Europe in September. Slovakia, Austria, Slovenia, Croatia, Hungary.

Other than that, I'm in a gardening mood. I'm growing Basil, Korean lettuce, radishes, Hops as usual, melons; in the garden. And an apple tree at work. Well, I wonder if you can call it an apple tree. I just spat an apple seed on my desk's flower pot while eating my apple. Then a week later I had this shoot as tall as a thumb. I think that it's going to become my mascot. I called it "Parinya II" in honour of my favorite Thai Boxer. If anyone knows how to take care of an indoor grown apple tree, let me know (proper fertilizers, organic tricks, plants to grow nearby, perfect pot sizes, soil mixtures, etc...).

Today is my wife and I's wedding anniversary. I'm going to cook some Salmon Steak for her, Tuna Steak for myself, and basil/spinach pasta. Dessert will be bananas on the pan, cooked in the butter and flamed with Rum. Nothing fancy as we've been to Paris last week to celebrate. We took my motorbike and drove to Paris' Asia-Town to see "The Hangover 2" (Hilarious). We had breakfast at Starbucks before that. For Lunch we went on a VIP Seine Cruise, with First Class Food Service. It was really cool.

Tomorrow we're celebrating 3 birthdays: My wife's, My Dad's and my brother-in-law's. (They respectively are from the 4th, 7th and 7th) My sister should have bought yellow radish at the Korean store in Paris, but she, as usual, hasn't kept her word. So no Kimbab for tomorrow's apéritif.

TV-Shows speaking, we're pretty hooked on "Bored To Death" lately. Too bad there are only 2 seasons yet.

Well, I guess it's time for me to crack open a bottle of Orval, as it's 6.30pm.

See you later alligators,

PS: My virtual mate Col changed his blog, after moving to India. You can follow his adventures here.

100th post, 5 months later update.

2011-03-29T02:24:00.002+09:00

Hey cunts,

I'm pretty sure that none is following this blog anymore. But I don't care. This is my diary afterall.

Last update was 5 months ago, and shit happened since then. First of all, Plan B worked, and I'm now working for a major French company since the first week of December. I'm selling civil aircraft repair services. It's pretty cool. Since I can babble some Mandarin and Korean, I've been attributed all the major Asian Airlines, which is cool too. The wage is pretty good. My contract ends in August, but I got the "KPI interview" shit last Friday where they evaluate your performances, give you targets and speak about your future. Thing is, my managers fucking love me, so they are doing all they can to get me an unlimited work contract. That'd be a pretty cool thing, since this company is HUGE. The benefits are reaaaally great. 2 months additional wage in December, percentage on the company benefits in January, easy internal transfers, Medical Insurance, a huge chunk of cash in travel checks every year, free sports and activities, etc... You could say that my company is the French equivalent of Samsung or IBM. Best thing is that I can organize my schedule as I please, and that I leave a few miles close to the company. So I'm home by 4pm.

One of the other cool things, is that my plan C will come into motion right after I get the unlimited work contract, as my company is a major supplier of the French Airforce. I've been accepted for the Airforce reserve program, and I'm going to do this thing next year if everything goes as planned. It will pretty cool, as the Airforce base is quite close from my place, and that my cousin's husband serves there. I'm planning on requesting foreign missions assignments for the 10 days per year I'll have to serve. I wish I could have been operational with all that shit Kaddhafi is pulling in Lybia. This fucker truly deserves to feed dandelions.

I gave up the school program, and am trying to get involved in a distance learning program, which is much better than what I tried to achieve. Good thing is that the degree is an international one, a Bachelor in Entrepreneurship and Management. Looks pretty much interesting. I sent the application letter last week.

One of my ex-coworkers is in jail as his girlfriend filed a rape accusation against him. This seems super weird, as this guy is the sweetest man I've ever met. He's from Cameroon, lived in Greece for half a dozen years, speaks 4 languages fluently, but works as a mover. We're corresponding pretty often by snail mail, and I'm wiring him some cash from time to time, as he's got no support nor family in France.

Lately I bought a silver film reflex camera, which is pretty slick and oldschool. I'm planning on doing some Black&White shots and post them on this piece-of-shit so called blog.

My next tattoo is almost done designing. My best-friend is taking care of it. It should be a reworked version of my family emblem, our motto, and the name and birthdate of mini-Baekseju. I'll bring it to the tattoo artist in a couple of weeks, and I'll ask him to improve it.

Other than that, my daughter grows prettier and stronger every day. She's as tall as 9 months old kids, even though she's half their age. I guess she took from my Dutch side more than the Korean one. She brings us so much joy. I'm an absolute piece of marshmallow when she smiles to me.

Well, other than that, I drink more than ever. "Orval" Belgian Trappist Beer is my crank.

See you later alligators,

Update

2010-11-28T02:06:00.003+09:00

Hey kids!

I obviously didn't follow my drunken babbling from my previous post about posting an update a week or so. But who the fuck cares? I'm not in Korea anymore, and most of my hardcore followers have my facebook except my favorite couple of grass eaters, Col, Mike and a couple of other followers. So I guess that I'm writing this update for them.

First, I'd like to proudly announce that Mini-Baekseju was born on the 10th of November, and that she's the most wonderful baby in the world (Even though my nights end at 4am). She managed to take the best of my features (eye color, cheeks and mouth) and to leave behind my broken nose and my other disgraceful features, which she replaced with her mother's best ones. Fortunately too, she haven't inherited my abundent facial hair.

Well, other than this wonderful event, life has been pretty much alright. Except that my uncle (my dead grandma's little bro) died 3 days prior to my daughter's birth (He was in the terminal stage of half a dozen cancer for over 20 years, so it wasn't that much of a sudden thing). The funerals were the day after my daughter's birth, and only a handful of people attended. Good thing is that I got to meet cousins I had never met, and one of them turns out to be an emerging French hip-hop singer.

My current employer tried several times to fuck me over some work laws and benefits I deserve, and I'm slowly begining to lose my patience. If it keeps going this way, shit will end up Paris-Suburbian style and the HR cunt will find her car chopped into pieces on the parking lot. Anyway, my contracts end in January, and I've got a Plan B, and Plan C et Plan D.

Plan B is to work for a major French company which is my current employer's customer. I've got a job interview with them next week. Plan C is to work for my Dad's construction company and put some dirt on my hands while learning the construction work, how to make proper quotations and how to manage the business. My Dad is trying to get me involved in the family business since as long as I can remember, and I've kinda ditched the offers since way back then. I guess I can't keep doing that much longer. Plan D is something I'll do no matter whether I chose Plan B or Plan C. I plan on enrolling in the French Land-Army (Marines equivalent) Part-Time Reservist Personnel, by following a 1 month higher military training which will lead me to a grade of Caporal, and which will force me to work 5 to 20 days a year for the French Army. I'm also starting a special government led program to upgrade my current owned Associate Degree, and to get my Bachelor Degree in International Business. I'll basically have to build a 500 pages thesis to convince a jury a professionnal and PhD's that I deserve the degree.

Well, I guess changes are on the way. On a lighter note, I'm going to get another tattoo sometime soon, but I need to work on the design. All the elements are chose, though. Tonight my sister's throwing a party with her friends for her 21st birthday at my parent's place, so I'll cross the garden and have a few drinks with the kids after I give my daughter her evening bath.

Well, see you later alligators,

Thursday

2010-08-20T01:43:00.002+09:00

What the fuck Chuck?

Has it been that long since I haven't taken care of my diary?

Just so you know cunts, I'm back! I'll post at least one or two weekly articles.

It'll revolve around boring shit related to my existence. Except that it won't be in Korea anymore, but in France.

As before, if you aren't interested in that crap, I won't give a shit. Get the fuck out, this is my diary.

This week has been quite busy at work. My sole team-mate is officially my senior and has a rolling-contract. While, I, have been in the company for a month more than her, am much better and productive than her at the job, but have a 8 months work contract only (I'm replacing a pregnant woman). Not only she's treating less than half the files I'm treating, but she's always asking me how to do stuffs.

No need to say, poor Mister Baekseju has problems with being patient. This old lady gets on my nerves quite a bit. All the office knows how fucked up the situation is. Except my manager and the higher management.

I won't whine about that shit. It's useless. I'm much too common with useless higher position workers. China, Korea, France... It's all the fucking same.

Up side is that one of my co-workers is a pearl. That Dude is hated by the whole management floor. As we say here, he doesn't have his tongue in his pocket. Meaning that he's highly skilled at his job, doesn't have any degree, that he's just a bit higher than a tramp, manners speaking, and that he'll say 'Fuck you cunt, you screwed up at your job' to his own employer. He's been here for 8 years and still is here. This motherfucker comes to work at 08.00am fucking loaded on Calva (French 100 proof pear spirit) and grass (South American magic plants). No need to say that in my book, this Dude is one of the finest.

Just by hanging with Steph (that guy) I screwed up my chances to get a rolling contract. You guys know what? I don't give a shit. I prefer to be an entire person rather than being a sneaky cunt and lose respect for myself. Plus, the wage + the team-mate aren't worth my efforts. Steph is a Black Dude from Reunion Island, it's a French province off Madagascar Island (in between India and Africa) and like you'd expect, is someone different.

We spend our lunch breaks together, in several of his friends houses eating our lunch boxes and drinking Pastis (French Anise 90 proof Alcohol), speaking about serious shit, and smoking illegally smuggled cigs (I'm the provider of these). Truly refreshing.

Tomorrow, I'll bring his lunch box. I lost a bet concerning the door code. He'll bring the booze. Perfect match. The suprise is that I'll bring a bottle of BAEKSEJU!!!! This dude deserves the sacrifice of a bottle from my small stocks.

Tomorrow night, we're going to have dinner at one of Madame Baekseju's friends. She met a Japanese girl at her mandatory French civic trainings a couple of months back, and they keps bumping into each other since then. Most of the (semi-legal) immigrants in France are either black or arabics. So I guess they got some kind of connection going on. Asians usually come to France illegally but respectfully live a hard-working honest life. Pretty much the complete opposite of the latter-s-.

After dinner, around midnight, my -awesome- cousin should arrive from her native Switzerland, and we shall drink and smoke like demons. I forecast that I'll already be smashed from my encounter witch the Japs. But what can I do? Family if family.

Remaining of the week-end will be spent with the couz.

I should go, I'm having a super tasty Portuguese Rosé wine, reminding me of Raspberries and wild berries. It's called Porta da Ravessa. After then, we're going to watch CSI Miami (the last season) with Madame Baekseju.

See you later alligators,

Kisses, hugs, XX, OO's, and all that shit,

Sunday, rainy Sunday

2010-08-15T23:50:00.002+09:00

Today is Sunday. I love it when it's raining. It feels so relaxing to be at home when the weather is totally shitty.

Quite a few of our previous Sunday have been pretty busy. Cousins' birthdays, friends weddings, road-trips in nearby countries, shopping for the baby, and so forth.

It's been a while since the last time it rained. It actually was super hot until now. Most of the last Fridays were punctuated by barbecue-nights with friends in our garden. Pretty laid back.

Life is pretty good back here. Except for the French administration, I haven't got much to complain about. Madame is following intensive French lessons provided by the French Government, I'm working a job in my career line, we've got a few top-quality friends, a great family, and a comfortable wage.

Tonight my parents and sister are coming back from a one week and a half cruise in the Mediterranee. Sicilia, Venice, Rome, Montenegro, Croatia and back to France. I'm going to pick them up at the train station in a couple of hours. Madame and I are in charge of preparing the dinner. We're cooking Curry Thai Chicken (Chicken simmered in Coco-milk, peanut, onions, madras curry, etc...). It's going to be quite tasty I forecast.

Well, time for a movie with Madame. Yesterday we watched "Brooklyn's Finest". Tonight is "The Ghost Writer".

See you later alligators,

It's been a while... crocodile!

2010-08-03T01:57:00.003+09:00

My dear (few remaining) readers,

I've got nothing specific to speak about. I just miss you cunts.

The other morning, on my way to work, it was raining like hell was falling on earth. My ancestors, the Gaulois, believed that the sky could fall on their heads someday. It was the only thing that they feared. They were incredible fearless fighters, and very rarely surrendered to the overpowering Roman empire. They preferred to fight until their last warrior could stand. But that's not what I wanted to speak about.

So, that other morning, when it was raining heavily, I was oddly striked by positive thoughts. My daughter-to-be, my wife, our new beginning, our projects, and stuffs like that. After a good 15 minutes of positive thoughts and heavy nightly rain, something pretty happened: A rainbow at sunrise.

It was quite ridiculously pretty and meaningful, right there, in between two cargo airport-landing strips and surrounded by old rusty cars and trucks. Deep down, beyond my alcoholism and boldness, I perhaps am an artistic soul. Nah, I'm just joking...

Taken from my Iphone 4 around Orly Airport, France.

See you later alligators,

3rd month update

2010-07-15T01:32:00.003+09:00

Alright ladies, my virtual friends requested me through a post on the Idiots' board to post an update on how I'm settling back in France.

Today is the 14th of July. For those of you who don't know, the 14th of July is the French National Day. In honor of that day we get a holiday to commemorate the independance from the evil French decadent royalty. That's right, 23 years and 10 days after the Marquis de Lafayette and other French and Native-American bad-asses led the US to get their independance from the Brits, we decided to grab our balls in our wives' purses and to cut some heads in order to gain our independance.

So today is off. It was a tough call, I had to make a decision between:

1. Watching Stargate SG-1 episodes while drinking Fischer Traditional Alsace Blonde Ale.

2. Playing "Red Dead Redemption" on my brand new 250gb Playstation 3 (I've got a good deal on those if you're interested) while drinking Fischer Traditional Alsace Blonde Ale.

3. Pleasing my lovely fans by writing a blog update while drinking Fischer Traditional Alsace Blonde Ale.

Well, it took me a whole 65cl (22oz) can of Fischer Traditional Alsace Blonde Ale in order to make a choice. And since I'm a magnanimous froggish bastard, I opted for solution 3 accompanied by a few glasses of Portuguese Vinho Verde. Casal Garcia is my brand. Moving back to the other end of the world didn't change the fact that I'm a fucking alcoholic. At least, now, I'm an alcoholic drinking good stuffs.

Well, speaking of alcoholics, one of my co-workers is a serious one. The guy drinks a gallon of Sangria Wine for breakfast and pure Arak un-cut with water for lunch. But that, is another story. As you all know, my first weeks here have been a bit chaotic. I had to make all our papers, IDs and shits for Madame Baekseju and I, to unpack and settle in our new home, to help my padré at work every once in a while (house renovation stuffs) and to search for -real- jobs.

My last update reflects how frustrated I got when I realized that my own home-country shat on my face and told me to fuck off. I've been refused the welfare, the basic rights to a free social security, the social helps and other stuffs that foreigners get by simply snapping their fingers. Gets you quite pissed off, trust me.

About a month and a half ago, after a month and a half working as a mason, a tile-er?, a destruction employee, a clerk at a DIY store, a waiter, a maître d'hotel, I finally found a real job in my "career" line. I've been hired by a Civil Aircraft Company (Aircraft-on-ground services) in their Exports team. I'm basically taking care of the customs stuffs and to prepare the parcels for forwardings to the manufacturers and airlines companies and shit. That's pretty cool even if it's a lot of pressure.

On Saturdays, I'm working extra jobs in order to make some €€€ so I can work on my other project. As most of you Dear Readers know, I plan on opening a micro-brewery one of these days. Thanks to those harsh back-breaking jobs, I've already bought the automation system of the brewery, and some other stuffs. I really believe in that project, but I refuse to use even a cent off my regular salary for it. My regular salary is for my family. The extras are for the project.

About two-three weeks ago, I've gotten great news from the Doctor. We're gonna have a super healty DAUGHTER! I'm pretty excited about that. I really wanted to have a daughter. We're going to call her Jiny. She's already a good daddy's girl, as she's always moving when I'm putting my hand on her mom's belly or when I'm reading her stories. My wife is amazed of how much she reacts to my hands and voice. Well, I'll have to remember those moments in 14 years from now when I'll be sleeping next to the entrance door with a .22 long rifle in my hands, shooting at teenage-boys.

I've got a picture of her from an ultrasound, but it's on my Iphone 4. If anyone knows a good applet for Blogger on Iphones, I'd love to hear from it.

Well, I hope everything is good in your lives my dear followers and wish you the best,

See you later alligators,

An update

2010-05-14T18:17:00.007+09:00

I really should post an update as it's been 1 month that I'm back in the Old Country with Madame Baekseju.

First, I'd say a sincere "Fuck you" to the French government from the bottom of my heart. I've been running EVERYWHERE to get papers in order and get basic stuffs straight. Thanks to a politic of positive-discrimination, that I've spent 4 years out of France, and to the fact that I'm not from Maghrebi descent, I'm treated like a Foreigner in my birth-country. I've been refused the Social Security, the Unemployment Welfare, and a few other basic rights that any other citizen has. I've been giving money to the government and huge taxes for TEN fucking years, and I'm refused these basic rights that I've paid to others for a bit more than 120 months... No need to say that it enraged me very fucking much.

Times are rough here and I can't find a job in my career-line easily. So, while waiting to find a good job, I'm either forced to temporarily work harsh back-breaking construction jobs, or to file for the M.I.I. (Minimum Integration Income) which is in fact a low-welfare system for people under the lowest level of poverty. I chose both. The government wants to fuck with my family? I'm gonna fuck it back. Two days ago, I received a snail mail from the government asking me to pay 300 euros for my wife's ID card. Not only I have to pay my wife's routine ultrasounds full fare because we're refused the basic right to a Social Security, but I have to pay my wife's spouse visa??? So I filed a special request to the M.I.I. asking for that exact amount of money and I'm gonna give this back to the Immigration Office to pay my wife's ID card. As I said, the Government turned its back on me, I'm not going to let it go easily.

Well, other than that, I'm doing pretty well for the family, and I've worked a few jobs over the past 3 weeks. I've been vendor in a DIY huge store, and right now I'm a construction worker. I'd never have thought I'd be doing that stuff, but I absolutely do not feel bad about it. It's harsh stuff, I'm working with Portuguese immigrants who speak French like I'd speak Uzbek, my master is an old Portuguese guy whom keeps repeating "Yo'gat' two eyz'ch, yo watch, yo learn'ch.'" every time I'm asking him how do some stuffs, but I really enjoy masonry work. It's pretty gratifying to build stuffs for people. Plus, it pays pretty well. I even found out I had a few muscles re-popping out of my arms.

On other notes, we've done an ultra-sound and the baby is doing really well. He/She begins to recognize me when I put my hand on my wife's belly or when I speak to him. It's super cool. I'm happy that he's doing well.

Well, I'm off to a couple episodes of Stargates SG1.

See you later alligators,

1.Hanoi, Vietnam

2010-05-12T21:02:00.001+09:00

The pictures of the first part of the trip. Hanoi, Vietnam.

Back in the Old Country !

2010-05-02T16:33:00.008+09:00

Dear Readers, I'm back !

I've been back in France for a few days already, but the last few days have been quite busy.

I had to take care of my papers, of filing my wife's Alien Card dossier, and so many other formalities.

I have so many stuffs to tell you about that I don't even know where to begin. I'd like to first apologize for the hundreds of typos to follow. I keep switching between French keyboards (house computers), Korean keyboards (our laptops) and US keyboards (my old computer) and none of them are the same. Big pain in the ass.

Where to begin?

In my last update, I was on my way to Siem Reap, Cambodia. There, I stayed at a nice guest-house, and visited Angkor Wat Temples. The sights were amazing. I had Python meat and Crocodile meat one night, barbecued Samgyeopsal style, and a few beers. It was delicious. From there, I took a country-side bus to Poipet, a tiny town at the Thai-Cambodian border. I crossed the frontier on foot, got my passport stamped on both sides, and entered Thailand walking on the "Friendship bridge".

There, I took a rickshaw to the Train station, in Aranyaprathet. I was the sole white butt taking the 1$ 3rd class train to Bangkok, as most of foreigners were taking VIP bus with AC and comfortable seats. I had to wait 4 hours for the train to depart, so I walked around the train station and bought some snack. I had grilled crickets, grilled hornets and a couple of cans of beer. It was very tasty. when the train finally left Aranyaprathet, it took me 11 hours of sweat (no AC) to reach Bangkok. It was a fun ride, as it was Songkran festuval and that the villagers on the sides of the railway threw water at the train windows. Refreshing. Especially when it's 48 degrees celcius average inside the train.

In Bangkok, I couchsurfed in the Eastern part of Bangkok. My host introduced me to another host and his couchsurfer, and I had a great time with them both. The first night we had street-food at their place, and went to have a couple of Giraffe of beer (beer towers) while getting to know each other. The day after I crossed Bangkok by FOOT from East to West. It seemed very near on the tourist map, but the scale wasn't mentioned. I walked nearly 25 miles and got myself a nice set of Blisters, sunburns and wasted feet. From time to time, the cars driving by threw water and flour at me (it was Songkran festival). On my long walk, I've seen a huge Komodo Dragon going out of the river which was longing to road I was walking in, and I almost shat my pants.

At night we went for a few pints at a gay bar (my two friends were awesome fags). From there we went to meet some of their Filipino friends in a private bar (guest-list only). I was in Tank-tops, flip-flops and short-pants so I got bounced. But the Filipinos threatened to leave the club if I couldn't enter (great dudes, as I got to know later), and since they were 15 brothers, sisters and cousins or so, the bouncers shut his mouth and let me enter while grumbling some stuffs in Thai. After partying for a while there, we were invited to a Filipino rock concert held in a famous hotel's parking lot. It was quite cool. Those of you who have my facebook friendship have seen the pictures...

Following those adventures in Bangkok and some I didn't take time to write about, I headed to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. There, the person whom was suppose to host me cancelled less than 4 hours in advance. That the downside of couchsurfing, and that put me quite in the shit. I found a guesthouse I had booked in case of, but they fucked the reservation up, and I got directed to another guesthouse by the owner. A shady dirty Pakistani guesthouse. The bedsheets looked like someone shat on it, and it smelled like sweat. A fucking nightmare, but all the other guesthouses were full so I had to try to sleep there. I went out and had a bowl of chinese noodles. The day after I switched to another guesthouse which was less dirty. I hung around Kuala Lumpur and was pretty disappointed. It's just a big city with pretty much no culture. I ended up in Little India, then around the Petronas Towers, etc... I found myself near a Hard-Rock cafe and had my first Hard-Rock cafe experience. It fortunately was the happy hours, and even then I spent close to 25 dollars for 4 pints of Carlsberg (ouch). I happily left Kuala Lumpur and headed to Jakarta, in Indonesia.

There, I was welcomed by two Indonesian sisters and shared my room with a Brazilian dude. I had a great time, and the sisters were awesome. We stayed at their parent's villa in the southern outskirts of Jakarta and it was great. They showed us around, fed us traditional homemade spicy breakfasts and took care of us like if we were family. We had great tasty street-food (special rating for the mouth-watering Nasi Goreng Kambing and the Sate Kambing Skewers) too. I bought Krekets (cloves) as I wouldn't be able to find any in Europe. After a few days, I had to head to Singapore, quite down, as I really liked my hosts in Jakarta.

When I arrived in Singapore, my hosts were -again- two sisters and were AWESOME. They both were from the Philippines, and had moved in Singapore 3 years ago or so. I had a great great time with them. Without those two pearls, my stay in Singapore would have been bland. Apart from the touristic sights, we spent our nights out together, drinking beers, smoking Shisha and chatting until the sun went up. It was great. After a few days I had to take my flight to the final step of my trip: Hochiminh-City (also known as Saigon).

There, I landed in Saigon Airport with a deaf ear and a stuffed one. I could barely hear anything around me, and headed straight from the airport to the Vietnamese-French hospital for a check-up. I had an ear, sinus, throat, lungs infection thanks to Jakarta heavy pollution. I had to cancel my plans of renting a 125cc motor-cross and head to countryside. Instead, I relaxed at the hotel, drank beers, ate french cheese and french baguettes, and drank some more beers. Punctuated with delicious Phở for breakfasts and late night/early morning cravings, of course. The first night, I found myself a tiny local "Bia Hoi" joint only frequented by locals and drank there a few plastic bottles of the freshly brewed Viet beer. The thing was packed and a young Vietnamese couple sat down with me. Thing after another, we became friends and were out for the night altogether. I then got introduced to the whole fucking joint, as they were the nephew and niece in law of the owner. I made friend with a nice Viet lady whom was my mom's age and we all went to a nightclub, a Pho joint, a coffee shop and then split. It was pretty much like that with them the following days, and I even went for a home-cooked lunch at the Viet lady who could be my mother's familial house.

Then, it was time to fly back to France. I flew business class, as I got a special discount from my travel agent. I arrived at the airport very much in advance, and spent a few hours drinking free booze in the VIP lounge. That was a very quick 12 hours flight as it was so comfortable that I didn't see any of it.

Well, I arrived about a week ago, and I'm running from administration to administration to regularize my situation and my wife's one. I've been out of the government grid for more than 4 years and don't deserve most of the helps, social security and welfare anymore. I'm also searching for a job and am having a few interviews. Hopefully I'll make something out of it. We bought also a few furnitures from Ikea, and we are almost settled down.

Anyway, I'm gonna keep you updated whenever I can,

See you later alligators,

I will try to keep

Cambodia

2010-04-12T17:22:00.000+09:00

Well, I'm on part 3 dot 5 of the adventure.

I just left Phnom-Penh, Cambodia, and I'm on for a 6 hours ride to Siem-Reap, Cambodia where the Angkor temples and located. I'm sitting in the bus right now and I've pretty much fuck-all to do, so I thought I could kill time by writing an offline blog entry on my laptop until it collapses in an hour and a half from now.

So, where to begin... I left Suwon, Korea, where I used to live and work with my -Korean- wife for a bit more than two years. A couple of weeks earlier, my wife had announced me that she was two months pregnant which made me the happiest man on earth. I want hundreds of babies. A few months earlier (before the Christmas/New Year holidays) we had decided to go back to my home-country early May. I've probably never mentioned that on my blog, but I'm a French mutt. So, considering schedules, money and all the things I had left to do, I chose to go on a trip around South East Asia over a short 3 weeks time.

It's not that much time but it'll be enough to prospect and see where I like and where I don't in order to go back in those countries with Madame. The trip is as follows:

1.Hanoi, Vietnam

2.Vientiane, Laos

3.Phnom-Penh, Cambodia

3.1 Siem-Reap (Angkor Wat)

3.2 Crossing Cambodia and the Thai border by land and train until:

4.Bangkok, Thailand

5.Kuala-Lumpur, Malaysia

6.Jakarta, Indonesia

7.Singapore

8.Ho-Chi-Minh, Vietnam

As said previously, I currently am heading to step 3.1. in what they call a VIP bus but is more like a regular bus. It's a cool ride though, I've nothing to complain about, and I'm not that much demanding. Plus, it costs me 6 bucks. And the bus is cooled. The temperature is South-East Asia is monstruously hot at the moment. There's a pretty 20 years old Khmer (Cambodian) girl next to me on the bus and she's sleeping on my shoulder back and forth. It's funny. We haven't spoken until now.

A few days before to leave, I heard about “Couchsurfing” from one of my friends from back when I used to live in Shanghai, China. She told me how she spent a couple of weeks in Thailand and Indonesia sleeping on strangers' couches. I loved the concept of getting to meet local people and saving expensive hostel fees. So I sent a few requests via the website and got positive answers for a few countries. In Hanoi, I stayed at a Vietnamese-American lady's place. I got to meet her -Brit- husband and their 16 years old son. I'd be glad if my son becomes as handsome as that dude was. Mixed people totally rock the beauty ladder. I was sleeping in their guest bed-room with a Quebec dude. It was cool to be able to speak my native language after all these years living abroad. There isn't much stuffs to do in Hanoi, so I mostly hung around the city, in between eating street-food and drinking “Bia-Hoi'. Bia-Hoi is a beer which is brewed freshly from a few days before, unpasteurized and delivered to the Bia-Hoi joints in a gas jug-like on a scooters. A glass of Bia-Hoi is approximately 20 cents of dollars. Imagine how useless wasted you can get with 5 bucks. Well, I bumped into interesting people in strange places. I met a Quebec lady in a “back-alley non-touristic hidden behind a shady building” kinda coffee-shop. We had a coffee and went to have dinner together. It was pretty cool. She lived in Korea for 2 years teaching on tourist visas a while back. So we chose to have dinner in what was a pathetic attempt at cooking Korean food. Hanoi was noisy, crowded and over-populated. I liked that, in a way. Street food was pretty good.

In Laos, I stayed in Vientiane, the new Lao capital. Laos was pretty quiet. Only 5 million people live there. What can I say about Laos except that I fell in love with that place? People are friendly, interesting, welcoming, humble and always smiling. Food is amazingly good. The Lao version of Pho (noodles-soup) is super tasty. I had the one with chopped duck in some back-alley joint. It was delicious. There isn't much to do back there, so I rented a scooter and rid it around Vientiane, stopping wherever I felt like to. I had a great Lao-Traditional massage which came pretty appreciated after these days of walking in the streets of Hanoi and couchsurfing. “Kongmanhee”, the massage girl, was from Southern Lao (Savannakhet), and happened to be born the same day and same year I was born in. Plus, she was two months and a half pregnant, which is the same exact pregnancy stage of my wife. What are the odds? We chatted for the whole hour, about Laos, about France, about life, about stuffs, and I asked for an hour more. It was a great time and it did some good to my sore-muscles. I've never met that many French people abroad, since I left France 4 years ago. Lao-French people owning businesses, French expats, French people of their retirement pension, French travellers. Lao so fluent in French that I would think they were French.

Yesterday I headed to Phnom-Penh, Cambodia, where this isn't much to do either. I tried some local Khmer food called “Sour Soup” and it was very harsh. I didn't like the taste at all, and almost threw up. Very big contrast with Viet and Lao food. On the menu there was a pizza section with something strange written at the bottom. “If you want the Very happy pizza, 1 dollar extra you give to me”. I asked to the waitress what was that Very happy pizza to which she replied me “Smoked”. I asked her “Wooden smoked”. --”No no, you know, smoking, feel happy and a little tired”. After a few minutes sorting it out in my head and double-checking with her, it was weed sprinkled on top. (I shit you not). I didn't get to try it, as my stomach was still shaky from the Khmer sour soup. During the afternoon I walked around Phnom-Penh and checked around. I went on the strip next to the Mekong river, in the main streets, and some back streets. Also went to the Russian market. I didn't like it that much. I went for a cheeseburger and a few pints of Angkor-Beer draught, burger which was heavenly, after about a week eating streetfood and local food.

I was a bit tired and not tat much interested in Phnom-Penh, so I picked up a few local beers of each brand, and went back to my guest-house for an evening watching National-Geographic and sampling the local brews. It was a cool night. I went out for another beer and bumped into a Cameroonese-French dude with whom I had a few drinks. An Israeli girl joined us. It was pretty cool. Then, you know the following, boarded the bus to Siem Reap this morning around 7am and should arrive around 1pm. There's some Khmer Karaoke going on in the bus. Very Korean style. I'm listening to my Ipod, Monkey Majik is on right now. Great stuff. I'm the only non-Khmer in the bus, and it's packed with people. I had Khmer food for lunch (not much choice when in the middle of a 400 sq. Miles rice paddy), and this time it was great. I had fried rice with chicken.

Well, I'm gonna post that update on my diary when I arrive in Siem-Reap and that I get internet.

See you later alligators,

Still alive

2010-04-10T13:04:00.002+09:00

Dear Readers,

Just a quick update to say that I'm still alive.

Phase 1: Hanoi, Vietnam is already done, but I couldn't update you from back there. (Facebook and Blogger don't work for some reason.)

I'm currently in Vientiane, Laos, and I'm flying to Cambodia tomorrow morning.

I'll make a detailed post for each adventure at the end of my trip !

I've got to ride my bad-ass scooter and grab something to eat.

See you later alligators,

My last day in Taehanminkuk

2010-04-06T14:54:00.003+09:00

Today is my last day in the "Territory of the Magnificent Han Ethnicity" (literally Korea in Korean). Tomorrow morning, I'm taking a plane to Hanoi, Vietnam and will get on a trip all over South East Asia for the 3 following weeks.

I'm having two opposite feelings at the same time.

1. I have the dreads. I'm leaving a country that I learned to love and to understand, despite its bad sides. It's been 25 months since we settled in Korea with the Missus. These 2 years flew so fast that I didn't even realize it. I honestly consider myself, and most importantly am considered by my in-laws and wife, as part Korean. I will miss the peninsula. I absolutely have no clue about how I will settle back in my home-country. It's been quite a while since I left. As someone said: "You always know what you're leaving, but you never really know where you're going." Also, I won't see my wife for 3 weeks. We had planned that trip together and had already booked my flight tickets a while ago, not hers. So when we learned that she was pregnant, she decided that she should stay in Korea with her parents until the third month of her pregnancy (which is the exact day we'll both arrive back home), and that I should go on my trip since the flight-tickets were already booked.

2. I'm quite happy about seeing new countries and getting to visit all the East Asian countries I hadn't visited yet. Plus I'll get to meet a few friends I haven't seen for a long time. I'm also quite happy to go back to France (that's probably the first time that I mention the Old Country by its real name on that blog). It's my first real vacation since... as far as I can remember.

Well, I've got to finish to pack a few stuffs and to go through my papers.

Next update should be in Vietnam.

See you later alligators.

Gaza Strip

2010-04-03T11:04:00.003+09:00

Dear Readers,

Rest assured that I'm not forgetting you.

Madame Baekseju and I are pretty busy cleaning our apartment before we leave.

I should have more time for posting Monday or Tuesday.

Have a great week-end, and here are some statistics for your own discretion, which make Korea truly sparkle.

"1 out of 5 Korean men pay for prostitutes more than 4 times a month"

Korea Hwayting !

Moon’s day – 월요일 – Monday

2010-03-29T14:53:00.001+09:00

Today is Moon’s day. Yet I don’t have anything dumb to say about the moon.

This morning, I’m a bit tired. It makes sense considering the exhausting week-end which just ended. Friday night was quite peaceful. We had a quiet dinner at home with Madame, while watching Burn Notice Season 3 episodes. I like being at home with my wife. Considering the tough week I went through, I was up for a Carlo-Rossi Californian Red Wine jug’s killing, so I picked up a jug at the Lotte Shioopa. When I arrived home, I was surprised to taste that it was Sangria wine… Those dumb-asses at the Lotte-Shioopa purchased the wrong reference and filled the California red’s shelf with it. I must admit that it looks exactly the same. Due to this disappointment, I only drank a third of the jug.

On Saturday, we had lunch with one of my wife’s friends. We had Kalkooksoo-tang (I don’t really know what’s in it, but it’s a thick soup, it has noodles, and it tastes good.) and spicy mandoo soup (kimchi-and-tofu dumplings). I had a bottle of Hite with my meal, and my wife’s friend was very surprised that 1. I was drinking during lunch time 2. That beer wasn’t supposed to match with Kalkooksoo-tang and spicy-kimchi-dumplings-soup, due to old Korean sayings. I politely explained her that it’s not because some random dudes in the 1700’s decided that barley-beer doesn’t taste good with spicy dumplings soup, that I won’t drink beer with my meal. She looked highly confused that someone could dare making choices for himself. My wife told me to shut the fuck up, in Chinese, with a big smile. When we don’t want people to understand what we’re saying to each other, we speak in Chinese. So I shut the fucked up, and smiled and nodded to what her friend was saying about culinary requirements in Korea. That was a cool lunch. Despite being a brainwashed Korean, my wife’s friend is very nice and frank. I like her. Unlike a large percentage of Koreans, she isn’t an hypocrite.

We came back home, had snacks and drinks, sitting on the ondol and chatting. My wife’s two bestfriends arrived an hour later, and they joined the drinks and snacks consumption. We killed one pitcher of Hite, and one pitcher of Max with my wife’s older bestfriend. Her “Onee”, as she says. Her older best-friend is now one of my bestfriends too. She’s a great lady. As usual, she made sure to bring two bottles of Baekseju. That lady truly has manners.

When 6pm rang, we headed to Booze-street with everyone, and went to a –real- Indian restaurant. I thought that we would be 15, and we turned out to be more like 25. Several of my friends brought their mixed White-Korean kids and babies with them. Madame Baekseju was amazed to see how beautiful, well educated and polite all of them are, compared to 100% Korean kids or 100% White kids (I quote her words). I had the Spicy Chicken Butter Tikka, with lots of Naan (flat Indian bread). It was delicious. Everyone was full, but I was still hungry, and pretty much finished everyone’s plates. So I also had Mutton-Curry, Veggies-Massalah, etc… My wife laughed and called me a “Tong-twaedji” (shit eating black-pig). I agreed with her, I indeed am a tong-twaedji. But I was a starving tong-twaedji. Plus, my friends don’t mind at all. I had a couple of Budweiser with my meal, as Kingfisher was not that better, and that it cost twice the price.

After dinner, we went to my second favorite bar, and drank. My wife came back home with her bestfriends directly. We both don’t want her to be in contact of cigarette-smoke, drunk pigs like us, and all the noise. So she kissed me good night, and left me facing a night of debauchery with a dozen of my friends. The Finnish boys were waiting for us there, along with another Dutch friend. I had a couple of Long-Island ice-teas, and one of my friends prepared me a surprise. A fat-ass shooter (whiskey-glass size) full to the top of something that smelled like everclear, methanol, kerosene and ether mixed together. I asked what was in it, and he answered me “What ISN’T in it?”. So I emptied it in one shot, until it was completely empty, under the acclamations of the locals and my friends. The bartender told me afterwhile, that it contained 151 proof rum, Jack-Daniels, 110 proof Tequila, and some other spirits. There was no mixer with it, yet it filled a whisky glass to the top. It not only smelled like everclear, but it also tasted like it. That got me quite drunk.

We played darts, enjoyed the night and chatted. I drank close to 10 long-island ice teas (that thing tastes so sweet), half a dozen of pints of Hoegaarden, a few tequila shots and a couple of 151-coke before we left the bar. We left around 4am for a second bar with 5 or 6 survivors. Among which were 2 cool young American GIs we met at the first bar, a married couple of British people whom are very very good friends, my close Quebec friend (who is a year older than my Dad), a Texan girl friend, and a crazy Scottish chick. We had even more long-island ice teas, shots, until it was 7am. Everyone went home, but my married couple of British friends was starving, so was I. We picked a case of Budweiser at the convenience store, and sat at Lotteria’s terrace. We watched the sun rise, drinking beer and eating cheeseburgers. I came back home at 9.30am, and Madame Baekseju was having breakfast in the living room. Surprisingly, she didn’t kick my ass, as it was a special occasion, and that the British lady is also one of her friend, and that she trusts her if she vouches for me.

I slept until 2pm, and my wife decided that we should take a walk. I went out with her, and decided to come back home after 5 minutes outside. For some reason, my left eye wasn’t working and I could barely see a thing with my remaining half-drunken half-hungover right-eye, and I didn’t feel like walking in the cold anyway. My wife wanted to continue her walk, so I gave her a holy mission: Getting me some take-out Galbi-tang (Pork vertebras soup). I love the soup of Galbi-tang, so I had two big salad-bowls of it. Galbi-tang is great to cure my hangovers. It was super tasty, as usual. We watched a couple of episodes of Burn Notice Season 3, and my wife decided to take a nap. When my wife takes a nap, it’s a good hour and a half of boredom. So I watched a movie. I watched “Clerks”. It was a very good movie. It was the extended version, with a cartoon scene of what happened at the funeral wake. It was very interesting to know that this movie was recorded in Black&White, for only 25.000$, in the convenience store where Kevin Smith used to work at the time. When I was done with the movie, my left eye woke up at the same time my wife woke up from her nap. I was quite relieved that the blindness was only temporary.

We spent the remaining of the evening watching episodes of Burn Notice, chatting together, hugging, and stuffs. A regular hungover Sunday for a married man. Around 6pm, I checked in my leather jacket if I had some cash so I could buy an ice-cream at the Quicky-Mart, but couldn't find any. Instead, I found a 33cl can of Budweiser. I love it when drunk-me is being kind with hungover-me. The hangover starting threatening me to become more painful, that beer came quite handy. Unlike "scientific" studies, the Hair of the Dog indeed is an efficient cure. We both fell asleep at 8pm on the couch. This morning, we began to pack clothes in big post-office boxes (6호) in order to dispatch them by sea-freight. We’ve got some clothes back home in the Old Country, so we easily can wait 2 months before we receive the content of our wardrobe. One big 20 kilos box costs a bit more than 150.000won by Airfreight, and 45.000won by Seafreight. I’ll make a box of important stuffs that I’ll send by Air, and all the other stuffs will travel through the oceans. Plus, I’ll be able to buy us tons of good clothes for cheap, in Thailand.

Today one of my favorite co-workers invited me for lunch. You, dear readers, know how much I hate company events/lunches/dinners, but I like her. So I was cool with a lunch with her. I paid for our coffees. I had a (Iced) Moccha Frappé. I’m kind of a coffee-nazi, but I could drink liters of that shit. I hate Americano-coffee and other fake shit-ass American style coffees. To my mind, only real Espressos deserve the “Coffee” appellation. But, seriously, Moccha Frappé is just addictive.

Tonight, I'm going to pick a pitcher of Max at my local Lotte-Shioopa (a store in between the size of a convenience store and a small supermarket). I'm also going to buy 6 ice-creams, so I'll be set for the whole week. Tomorrow night is my last pain-in-the-ass Hwaysik (company dinner), as it's my farewell dinner. So we only need 6 ice-creams instead of 8. I like the Pistachio cones. My wife doesn't mind if it's vanilla, pistachio, chocolate or even green-tea. For her, an ice-cream is an ice-cream.

See you later alligators,

New design

2010-03-27T07:46:00.000+09:00

I've tested the new template designer on draft blogger and came up with that.
I personally think that it's less basic than the white and black from before.

Since I don't read my diary and only write it, it's up to you dear readers to feedback on how it looks.

Does it hurt your eyes? Does it look slick?

Let me know if I should try something else.

See you later alligators,

Gold’s Day – 금요일 – Friday

2010-03-26T15:27:00.001+09:00

Today is Gold’s day. My dear readers know how much I love Fridays. But today I don’t have this magical Friday-like feeling. Nothing wrong happened, mind you. It’s just that I’m officially relieved of my job functions. My co-worker is now in charge of the things I used to do. It’s my last –working- Gold’s day in Korea for at least a few years. The co-worker who is replacing me had to take the afternoon off due to an “emergency”, so I will be backing her up for the job functions she is supposed to have taken over from me. Typical Korean style: Squeeze everything until the last drop.

Aw well, I was getting bored doing nothing this morning, so I’m actually glad to have something to keep me busy. I have only 3 “working” days to go, and I’ll be officially unemployed by the time 6pm rings on Wednesday 31st of March. I’m supposed to do squat since a couple of days ago, but my co-worker definitely isn’t the most hard-working person on earth, and is asking for my help every 10 minutes because she is “bely bely beedjee”. (I’d like to remind you that I used to do what she’s doing, plus tons of other things assigned by my seniors and managers, and never asked for any help. And no, she’s not a new recruit, she actually has 2 more years of experience than I have in the company, and she’s the one who trained me in the first place.). I’ve decided that I’m not going to do anything starting from Monday afternoon. Let it be said, let it be done.

Yesterday morning, Madame Baekseju went to the hospital in Seoul, and she heard our little one’s heartbeat for the first time. She feels like she’s flying on a cloud. I do too. This is becoming real. I’m slowly starting to relax as the pregnancy weeks go by. I can’t wait for the third month, so there almost won’t be any risk anymore. This morning, we’ve received her spouse-visa for the Old Country. On the picture, she looks like a drugged mouse. That made us laugh. The formalities to get her ID Card when we’ll arrive in the Old Country, are a little bit more complicated than here. But, aw well, it’s only once, and after then, she’ll just need to go at the police station to trade for a new one every year for a couple of years. I’m hoping that this cunt of Lee Myung-Bak will keep his promises and allow the dual-citizenship before he’s put in jail/suicides for embezzlement and corruption charges. That would be much easier for our future. Well, except that your dear Mister Baekseju would be serving in the South Korean reserve army for a few mandatory months. That’d be truly sparkling to put that on my resume. Imagine how pretty it’d look:

“Mister Baekseju
Old-Countryman&Kimchi-land dual citizen
Married to a woman a decade older than him, 1 kid

2010-2011 Fucked-up whitie lost in the South Korean army, in Random rice paddy, S. Korea
2008-2010- Sole Waegookin of a European company in Big City, S. Korea
2007-2008 – Working for a corrupt Communist Official in The Popular Republic of China
2006-2007 – “Not-really-an-immigrant” in The United States of America
2006 – Graduation from a lousy community college in the Old-Country’s projects
2004- Graduation from a lousy community high-school in the Old-Country’s projects”

Sparkling, heh?

Tomorrow is my farewell party. About 20 people are coming. We’ll have Indian/Nepalese food, and get drunk at my second (now first) favorite bar nearby. I don’t want to go to my (now former) favorite pub, as I got in an argument with one of the bartenders who seriously raised his voice at me without any specific reason. This was the third time that it happened. But this time, I lost it and told him to go and fuck himself, all which was accompanied by a majestic sucked middle-finger. This guy is an asshole and it was just pending to happen. Keep in mind that I’m not a violent drunk at all, I even am a sweet-hugging-and-kissing drunk. The owner apologized to me hundreds of times, hugged me and all, did everything he could for me to come back.

I’m getting drunk there with half-a-dozen of friends at least once a week if not more. Unlike 80% of the Korean customers who drink a couple of cheap beers and leave, we drink export beer, do shots of high-quality tequila, and pick in the cocktails-menu once every other time. I told him I would come back if his asshole bartender is forced to take his night off on the night I’m coming. For my farewell party, considering the amount of guests I’d have brought, the context of the night (farewell party + 2 birthdays), and our drinking habits, they just lost a potential 1 and some hundreds million won. Makes me sad for the owner, he’s a great guy, but I’m a stubborn motherfucker, and once I made a decision, I never turn back. Blame it on my Old-Country’s principles. Aw well, the other bar has darts too, a pool-table, leather sofas, a jager-bomb dispenser, and even Hoegaarden on tap.

I received my Vietnamese visa a few days ago, and I’ve just finished to book the hotels for my S.E. Asia trip. I’ve booked in all countries, except for Indonesia, as I’ll stay with my friend and her parents in Bandung. Singapore is fucking crazily overpriced, so I’ll stay in a youth-hostel, sleeping with 5 other strangers. Hotels in Cambodia, Thailand and Vietnam, in another hand, will cost me pennies. I found a cool guest-house in Laos, the owner is a Lao dude, but he holds my Old-Country’s citizenship. He speaks my native tongue perfectly. The price for a room is about 15 bucks a night, and they have a big swimming pool, a huge garden, free breakfast, AC, wifi, etc… Plus, they’re located more or less in the center of Vientiane.

I’m quite excited about that trip. But I’m a little worried about how much I’ll miss Madame Baekseju. Well, I still have a week and a half before the day I have to board the plane to Hanoi, Vietnam.

See you later alligators,

Moon’s day – 월요일 – Monday

2010-03-22T14:52:00.001+09:00

Today is Moon’s day. But that fucking heavy snow is hiding the nearest building, so it’s definitely impossible to see the moon. The Magnificent Han-Ethnicity’s Territory (a.k.a. South Korea in Korean) takes a lot of pride in its 4 seasons. I’d like to remind my readers that next week in April, and that it’s still snowing like if we were in Siberia. I therefore agree with South Koreans, there indeed are 4 seasons in Korea: Summer, Summer #2, Winter, Winter #2.

Last week’s week-days have been pretty much quiet every night. On Friday night we went to have Samgyeopsal and Baekseju for one of my –Yankee- friends’ birthday. That was a cool night out with the boys. Our group of friends is constituted of 50% of Yankees, one German, one British, three French-Canadians, myself from the Old Country and one Newfie (New-found-territories of Canada). We ended up at our favorite bar, as usual, and I drank cocktails which I don’t even remember the names. The only thing I remember is the heavy hangover on Saturday morning. I also remember that one of the Finnish exchange-students taught me how to say “What’s up, ugly monkey?” in Finnish. So, here you go: “Mita Kuulu Ruma Apina?”.

On Saturday night, we chilled at home with Madame Baekseju. We watched quite a few episodes of “The Burn Notice”. I had to find the Season 2 after that. On Sunday, we went to take a walk, and stopped at my older sister-in-law’s place for coffee. My wife and her sister chatted for a good 3 hours. After the first hour of chatting with my second niece and of playing playstation with my youngest nephew (he’s 9), my wife gave me 30.000won and told me to go and get drunk at Family Mart with two of my Yankee friends. Her sister and her had to talk about girls stuffs.

We had a few pitchers of Max (now my “favorite” South-Korean beer) and one of both brought me back a gift from the DMZ. A can of Taedonggang!!! (a North-Korean beer which is not exported anymore) The beer-geek that I am considered it an honor. We shared the can together, and I must say that it was surprisingly delicious. The beer reminded me of an English-Pale-Ale. A little bit hoppy, slightly bitter, with a solid malt base. That friend had a date and therefore had to leave earlier. We continued to drink with my other friend and I came back home around 7pm. I fixed myself some eggs, other quick dishes, and relaxed with Madame.

Missis Baekseju is unemployed as of last Friday 8pm. She finished her contract as a Hakwon English teacher last Friday night. She’s quite happy to be able to relax at home. I, for my part, am very jealous of her being able to relax on the couch. Tomorrow morning, my friend who brought me back the Taedonggang can is beginning an epic trip. He’ll take the boat from Incheon Seaport to Tianjin, China and cross by train whole China, the –stans, Russia, Belarus, Poland, Germany and meet me in the Old Country in May. So, tonight is his last night in Korea. We’re going to have Takkalbi (very spicy chicken with cabbage and rice-cakes) and Baekseju. Madame will be exceptionally joining us (she doesn’t like going out). The owners of the restaurant treat us like family.

I’m finishing my work next week, on Wednesday night. I’m pretty much looking forward to it. Yesterday my father called. One of his friends’ friends may have a job for me. That would be cool. I have to send my resume today.

Anyway…

See you later alligators,

Water’s day – 수요일 – Wednesday

2010-03-17T10:33:00.001+09:00

Today is Water’s day and it’s not raining. Yet, the present weather in the Kyeonggi province area can freeze your nuts in a single wind blow. I’m kinda tired of those weather changes. One day is so warm that you’re sweating all the beer you drank for a week, and the day after the water bottles you’ve got on your veranda/balcony froze over night. But what can we do? It’s March, and in the Old Country, we’ve got the same weather swings happening in March.

Last week-end was pretty quiet. Saturday my wife’s two bestfriends came for lunch. One of them has a boyfriend, and therefore should have brought him along. But she came alone. He was scared of drinking with a Waegooksalam (foreigner). They brought 4 bottles of Baekseju, a pizza and a few stuffs. My wife’s eldest bestfriend brought me two bottles of Sokokju. These girls truly know how to make me love them. We downed 3 bottles of Baekseju while my wife drank orange juice.

After finishing the Pizza (that stuff was huge and heavy) I began to fix a few cocktails for the girls. I began with White Cubans (Kalhua, Rum and Milk) and one of them loved it, the other didn’t. So I drank her White Cuban and poured her friend and I a second one. I then fixed a Vodka-Polak (Polish Rye-Vodka and pure apple juice) and they both loved it. We had many of those. When the three of us, drinkers, began to be quite toasted, they decided that it was time to go back home. I took a quick nap on the sofa and my wife watched her Korean dramas, sitting on the floor next to the couch, holding my arm wrapped around her. When I read the stories of other Korean-Western mixed couples, I feel lucky to have a great wife such as Madame Baekseju.

At night my niece’s English teacher (a good buddy of mine) asked me out for a beer. Since I’m no easy girl I told him that I’d accept only if I’m back home before midnight. Who knows, my horse could turn back into a pumpkin. I really wanted to spend time with him before he leaves. He’s going on an epic trip from Seoul to my Old Country by land and sea. He’s crossing so many countries that by the time he’ll arrive in my hometown over there at the extreme west of Europe, I’ll be already back home. We’re planning on having him stay at our place a day or two. We had a few beers –I drink Red Dog coz I’m a cheap motherfucker- and we went back home before midnight as promised. He paid the whole tab and refused me to pay my share. Very nice from him.

Sunday was very quiet too. We spent the whole day relaxing with Madame, watched movies, used our computers, and went out for a bit at Lotte Mart for groceries. Well, a calm Sunday as we love them.

On Monday night my bestfriend from here, a Texan dude, swung by for a few drinks at my place. He drank Rum, I drank beer. My wife brought me back Galbi Tang (love that stuff) and I had that for dinner. After which we went to our favorite pub and had a few Texas-Tea (that shit is deadly). I came back home in a hurry coz my wife called me in emergency. She was a little worried about some stuff and thought our little one was hurt. Monday morning she went to the hospital and got a check-up, everything was completely fine. I think that she really needs to relax about it. And even though I never look worried -so I don’t stress my wife-, I’m always boiling of stress inside. I also need to relax.

Yesterday was pretty quiet, we found a cool TV-show called “Burn Notice”. It’s about an ex-CIA spy-contractor who gets a burn notice in the middle of a deal in Nigeria. He’s then brought back to Miami where he needs to wait until he figures why he’s on a burn notice, and who issued it. Meanwhile, he’s “helping” people in order to make a living. We really like it.

Today I’ve been reminded by my wife that I’ve got only 10 working days remaining. My company didn’t arrange any replacement for me yet. My team-mates are going to be in deep shit on April 1st. Oh well, it’s their choice, I’ve let them know my leaving date fair and square more than a month ago.

See you later alligators,

Gold's Day – 금요일 – Friday

2010-03-12T18:01:00.001+09:00

Today is the Golden day. Most of you dear readers know how much I love Fridays. It's like when you're a kid and that your parents promise to bring your cousins and you to the attraction park the following week. You mark with a cross every day till D-Day. Believe me or not, but my calendar on my desk at work, has crosses on every single day from Monday to Thursdays.

Yesterday, we went Seoul for a test, and Madame Baekseju gave me good news. I've got a little Kim on the way. After then, we went to Jeonglo in the Northern part of Seoul, in order to launch my Vietnamese multi-entries visa process. The Vietnamese embassy in Seoul is so well organized that you can't make a simple fucking tourist visa by yourself. You HAVE to get through a travel agency. The basic cost for the multi-entries visa is like 95.000won, but the cheapest travel agency will make it for 140.000won. I love communist countries' systems...

After taking the elevator back down, I detected a delicious smell coming from somewhere in the other side of the building. The smell reminded me of real chinese joints' food, which is non-existant in Korea. We followed the smell and ended up entering a REAL Vietnamese owned Vietnamese joint. We decide to have lunch there. I ordered Phở, and Madame Baekseju some kind of spicy and limy noodles. Both were insanely delicious. The juice of the Phở was just addictive, the noodles tender and the meet melting on your tongue. I liked the spicy noodles too, and Madame Baekseju decided to switch our dishes, as she prefered the Phở. Fair enough, I'm not that much of a difficult person. It was completely empty when we entered the joint, and it became PACKED as soon as we began to eat. 20 persons were waiting in line, outside of the join, in the hope of a table. The name of the joint is «Saigon» (Ho-chi-minh City's other name) and it's located on the first floor of the Papua-New-Guinea's embassy's building. I'm sure you can find the address on google, naver or somewhere else. Make sure to go before 11.55am or after 2pm, so you're not annoyed by the rush hour. The owners and the whole staff is Vietnamese, and they're very nice.

After then, we came back home, and I got shitfaced on Californian red wine watching prison documentaries. I was not proud of drinking Californian red wine, so when I finally killed the 1.5L jug of shit-ass Carlos Rossi, I went to buy a bottle of 7.500won cheap red wine from the Old Country. It was shitty too, but I at least felt like an alcoholic patriot. I stopped after I downed a third of the bottle, when I realized that it wasn't Friday and that the next morning would be painful at work. I'm watching a lot of Prison documentaries lately. Somehow, I've always felt like I'm going to end up in prison someday. I don't know why, I don't know how, but strangely, I feel like it'll happen to me. Or maybe have I been a convict in a previous life?

Anyway, those documentaries are very interesting. I was suprised to see the differences between the Australian and American penitentiary system. The Australian system is basically aiming at rehabilitating convicts to embrace a normal life when they get out. The American system is obviously about getting a maximum of convicts packed between 4 walls, no matter what are the conditions of the prison. One of those prisons have converted the gym into an additionnal cell, holding hundreds of convicts sleeping on iron-shelves converted into «beds». This is unbelievable.

There's an American serving life without parole in an Australian maximum-security prison for trying to import 1 billion dollars worth of white powder, and he refused his right for extradition back to the US. He's already been in jail back in the US and told that he would never go back there, considering how shitty the American penitentiary system was. I've also been touched by an old dude serving life without parole for first degree murder, whom is helping young convicts to get a college degree while in prison. It made my eyes wet to see the graduation ceremony and those gang-bangers being proud of themselves for having done something productive with their lives. I like the idea that some worthless rejects of the society want to do something with their lives, and that they succeed at it. The old man serving a life sentence teaching and assisting convicts in their college degrees quest, or those gang-bangers who want to get out of the shit for their families.

Today I've bought a second-hand laptop from my company. It's a Thinkpad R51, 1.7ghz, 2gb of ram, 60gb hdd. The battery is new, and the laptop is in good shape. This basically is my dream second-hand laptop. There even is a windows xp cd-key, even though I won't need it, since I want to install Ubuntu on it. I got it for dirt cheap. Even my wife was happy about the price. And she's Korean. So it's so say how cheap it was. It's going to come handy during my trip in South-East Asia. This thing even has wifi, so I'll be able to use Starbucks's wifi connections to keep my family, wife and you dear readers informed of how the trip is going on. Speaking of the trip, my friend from Indonesia confirmed that she'll pick me up at Jakarta airport and that we'll spend our time in Bandung.

Tomorrow we're having lunch with my wife's two best friends. One of them has also became one of my best-friends. She's a great lady, and I enjoy chatting in half-Korean half-English with her. Plus, we're both pretty heavy drinkers. She's very pretty, smart, funny, friendly, but even older than my wife. I think that despite her being a perfect woman that anyone should marry, her age, solid temper and high intelligence are a problem for the average insecure Korean man. My wife's other friend is coming with her –Korean– new boyfriend. Considering those parameters, I can forecast some Baekseju and/or Makkoli feast, and a hung-over Mister Baekseju by the time dinner time rings.

Tonight I'm going to pick up a pitcher of Hite Stout, and I'm going to install Ubuntu on my newly acquired laptop. When Madame will come home from work, we'll probably watch some pay-per-view movies while enjoying delivery food. A peaceful Friday night is on the way.

Thanks a lot for all your very kind messages of yesterday, my little frog-ish heart is all vibrating. Madame Baekseju is very thankful for the messages too, as she's also one of the readers of that blog.

See you later alligators,

There's a bun in the oven !!!!

2010-03-11T10:00:00.004+09:00

Dear bored readers,

I'm so fucking happy. This morning we've learnt that I've got a half-Mutt half-Korean on the way.

It's due for November or about.

I hope that I'll be an as good father for him/her as the Gorilla is/has been for me.

Fire’s day – 화요일- Tuesday

2010-03-09T10:35:00.003+09:00

Today is Fire’s day, yet it’s a bit chilly out there. I’ve heard from my co-workers of the usually sunny Busan branch that it’s thickly snowing down there. I actually don’t give a fuck since I’m on the opposite part of the country, way up North-West.

Yesterday after my busy working day, I stopped by the local Shupah (small supermarket) and bought a 1.5L jug of Carlo-Rossi. I felt ashamed for a good 30 seconds to buy such Californian cheap-ass red wine, but the shame eventually went away as soon as I crossed the street.

I called my dear mother, walking on the way back home and we spoke about our week-ends, her daughter-in-law (she loves my wife), my father’s business, and all the usual shit. My parents and sister are pretty happy that we’re coming back to live in the Old Country. I’ve been gone since 2006.

When I arrived home I poured myself a glass of wine and had a few black olives as snack. I love olives. I actually love olives so much that I’m asking twice the extra dose whenever I order a “Subway Club” or a “Pizza Regina”. In the Old Country we have an alcoholic tradition called “Aperitif”. Before dinner, the family gathers on the living room’s couch and shares a few appetizers and a drink while talking about their day, plans and problems. In my family, those appetizers are either marinated olives or dry charcuterie, or both. Aperitifs rock. I’m usually in charge of fixing the drinks, considering my bartending background. My mom usually drinks a glass of Scotch, neat. My dad usually asks me to fix him a Mojito or a Gin&Tonic. My sister usually wants Rum&Exotic-fruits-juice or a light fruit liquor. My wife usually drinks a Coca-cola, a fruit juice or a sprite. I usually throw a coin and decide what I wanna drink.

We’ve got another alcoholic tradition from time to time, called “Digestive”. It’s a little bit like an Aperitif, except that it’s after a very heavy dinner. You pour yourself a snifter or good booze (Cognac, Armagnac, Over-Aged Rum, Quality Scotch, Red wine…) and you enjoy it with a few cubes of chocolate and your favorite tobacco. My Dad usually sips on another glass of the Red Wine we were drinking for dinner, and smokes a Romeo&Julieta Partagas. My mom usually drinks half-a-glass of the Red Wine we had for dinner, and she smokes a Dunhill Export or a Marlboro Menthol. I usually pour myself either a White Cuban or a few drops of Armagnac. I like to enjoy it with a Dannemann’s Moods cigarillo. My Dad prefers mint-stuffed-chocolate (After-Eight) and I prefer pure Black-Chocolate.

Yesterday my wife wanted to go out for dinner. Plus, we needed to make ID pictures for her spouse-visa and for my numerous South-East Asian visas. Once the pictures were made, we went to our favorite “Andong Jjimtak” restaurant nearby. I love Jjimtak. Jjimtak is a kind of chicken stew simmered in soy-sauce and chicken juice and spiced up with some dried Korean red Koju hot pepper. There are potatoes and cellophane-noodles in it. This is so delicious. I had a third of a bottle of Baekseju with it. We brought the bird’s remains and the unfinished Baekseju bottle back home. Such is life when you’re married with a Korean citizen.

This morning I’ve finished my wife’s spouse-visa’s dossier. The embassy requires shit-loads of documents. Some of those took 14 days to be issued from the Old Country and as much time to be received here in Korea. My wife went to the Old Country’s embassy in Seoul in order to submit the dossier and get her fingerprints taken. She must have arrived at the embassy by now. Except that I have no way to know, as she forgot her mobile at home. My wife is very clever, but she’s always forgetting stuffs.

Anyway, time for a break.

See you later alligators,

Element 26

2010-03-08T22:37:00.003+09:00

Alright, I love Metal.

I've got a cousin, from Lebanon and his name is Alexy. Yes, the European cunt that I am have family all over the World. Lebanon included. I know this dude since way before he reached the height of my knee. Truth is that I unfortunately haven't spent much time with him.

Anyway, he's part of a Lebanese Metal band named "Element 26". Lebanese Metal Bands aren't flooding the streets, so this really deserves a plug for its uniqueness. Plus, he's my cousin, so he rocks.

Listen to his tunes if you like Metal. If not, don't bother.

Best stuff is on their myspace.

http://www.myspace.com/element26lb

If you want to see my couz, check out the video below. But turn the volume down if you don't like metal.

My cousin is the guitarist. He's the dude on the right with the military khaki pants.

My smoking habits

2010-03-08T11:35:00.004+09:00

As you probably know, I’ve got all Epicurean vices. I love to eat, I love to drink and I love to smoke. I’ll spare you the listing of my other vices.

I often speak about booze and food, but rarely about what I enjoy smoking.

Today, my friend Flint posted an article about his love for Montecristo Number 2. I must agree that it’s some tasty cigar. The Gorilla (Mister Baekseju Senior) is a cigar smoker himself. During my tender youth, every night when I should have went to bed and that my mother was lighting up a Dunhill Export and that my father was picking a Romeo&Juliette out of the cigars-box, I could smell this cigar smoke. At first strong and repulsive, it after a while began to unveil its delicious spicy smells.

When I reached the smoking age (~14 years old in the Old Country), I first picked a couple of Dunhill Exports out of my mom’s cigarettes packs and smoked it with my friends while coughing our lungs off. After a few years, I became to enjoy good tobaccos. While my friends bought the cheapest fags due to a low budget, I reduced my consumption and saved enough for a pack of good stuffs rather than buying 3 packs of shitty stuff. What was at first some stupid thing to show-off among my friends became something that I enjoyed. I’ve smoked hundreds of different stuffs, and I now have my top favorites.

I must precise that I'm not a regular smoker (anymore). I smoke only when I drink with other people.

Cigarettes speaking, I love Camel regulars. I particularly enjoy smelling the cigarette before to light it. It has these spicy liquorices flavors to it, and I love it.

Cigarillo speaking, I love Dannemann Moods. Those are what I love to smoke during a great night at some good friends’ place. The taste is amazing. Imagine yourself smoking European Spice-Bread, it what Moods make you feel like. It’s mild to lightly strong, and the smoke is thick. It’s a Dutch brand, and doesn’t have any flavor added. It’s definitely not one of those aromatized shitty cigarillos.

Cigars speaking, I like Romeo&Julieta Partagas. I don’t smoke them very often, as it’s a Father-Son kinda moment that we share on the patio with the Gorilla. I also like a good Cohiba sometimes.

I also enjoy rolling my own. My favorite tobacco is "Amsterdamer" and my favorite rolling paper is Zig-Zag original (couldn't find the right picture of it).

And you? What are you smoking?

Sun's Day - 일요일 - Sunday

2010-03-07T09:28:00.004+09:00

Gold’s day – 금요일 – Friday

2010-03-05T11:54:00.008+09:00

I think that my Korean horde-mates are pretty clever to have named this day as it is. Fridays are truly Golden days. Just waking up in the morning and realizing that you’ll relax for two days straight makes your Friday worth it.

Today I’ve asked for a day off on Thursday next week. It’s going to be a busy day. We need to get a third and final confirmation for something which could be good news but that isn’t sure yet, and I need to go and get my wife’s spouse visa at the Old Country’s embassy. I also need to go to the travel agency in order to launch the process for my Vietnamese multi-entries visa. All other visas can either be obtained at the countries’ international airports when I cross the customs (Laos, Cambodia, Indonesia) or I’m exempted of visas in a few countries (Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore). I have to remember that we need to get ID pictures done tomorrow at Lotte Mart (note for myself: don’t forget you fucking gold-fish).

I made some change while the dollar was very low, and I have a 1100 US dollars budget for my 20 days trip and a couple of hundred euros left from the benefits I made with the duty-free cigarettes I sold to my mates back when I was in the Old Country for the end-of-the-year celebrations . It’s about 60 bucks a day. Considering that you can comfortably get by with 15 dollars a day in most countries (hotel included), and that I essentially want to live on local food, it should be way more than plenty. Plus, in Indonesia, I’ll stay with my friend and her family in Bandung.

Today is pay-day. We’ve survived for a whole week with 50.000 won for two persons (40 bucks).On Wednesday night my best-friend from here, a Texan dude, wanted me to go out with another very good friend of ours (a British mate). I was flat broke so I declined the proposition, but he dragged me out and decided he’d pay for dinner and the drinks. It was super cool of him. That guy is a big brother to me. We had Takkalbi at our favorite restaurant. The owners love us and know each of us by first name, our countries of origins, the names of our wives/girlfriends, our age, what we do in life, etc... Well definitely not the regular kind of Koreans who don’t give a shit about what you tell them. What is cool is that the owners insist on us calling them “Ee-mo” and “Sam-choon” (Auntie, Unc’), they’re really making us feel at home.

The owner usually brings me half-a-pitcher of his homemade podoju for free (grapes and Korean wild berries macerated and crushed together in soju for a year) and gives us a pad in the back. His wife usually sticks to our table and take perfect care of the cooking of our Talkkalbi while chatting with us in our broken Korean and laughing loudly at our “cute” pronunciation. We usually end up the dinner by a Baekseju feast before to head to our favorite Korean bar, where we’re total VIPs. It’s always the same ritual that some could call a routine, but that we highly enjoy once a week or so since the past two years.

At the bar we met our European mates who freshly arrived from Europe for their second semester in Korea. They’ve been gone 2 months or so. They were 3 Finnish guys before they left, and now 5 of them came back. They loved Korea so much the first time that they bragged to their friends about it. There’s also a Northern-Irish dude who comes not far from the city where I used to stay while I myself was a student and even a Dutch guy who happened to be from where my great-grandpa was born before he immigrated to Senegal and then later on to my Old-Country. World’s small. They’re exchange students, and my Texan best-friend happens to be their English professor at the nearby University. That’s fun. The Finnish boys’ accent is so awesome “Vat do yo vant to dlink Teechuullll?” (What do you want to drink Teacher?). As a result of I was heavily hung-over yesterday, hence the lack of article.

Having spoken of Ireland, reminds me my youth when we used to drink Buckfast in Armagh, Northern Ireland, between English and History/Geography classes with the Irish mates which I was staying at. The Devil pisses that stuff. It’s sweet, tasty, a bit strong and it’s dirt cheap. Plus, it’ll get you very drunk easily. Some call it nasty; some have it tattooed on their butts. If you’re from the UK and not from the Royal family, you definitely have drunk your good share of it. Right KRD? What I loved in both Ireland and Northern Ireland is how people are so warm, welcoming and nice. Imagine the exact opposite of the Korean mind, and you’ll picture the Irish People. Almost every single Irish being I’ve met back there or abroad has been kind to me.

When I arrived in Northern Ireland, I was with 4 or 5 other students from my Old Country, one of them became a good buddy after what we’ve lived in Ireland. The first night, we went out with my house-host’s son and my friend’s house-host’s son. We went to have a pint of Guinness at the pub (how original) and a few locals at the bar spotted that we were foreigners. They came to us and spoke with us, paid us beers, called us “cousins” coz of where I’m from (my main ethnicity is Celtic, like the Irish, Scots, French Britons, Belgian Walloons, Southern and Coastal Dutch, and the Welsh) and made us enjoy a cool night all together. Great disinterested and random people. It happened with different people in different places every single night I’ve been staying in Ireland.

Yesterday, my wife got mad at me coz I don’t do anything at home. It has never been a problem over the past few years we’ve been living together, but she’s got crazy mood swings lately. So I’m now bound to cook dinner EVERY night instead of our “week-ends only” original marriage rules. I was exhausted, still slightly hung-over and had a rough day at work, so I made some quick Bokkompap (fried rice with some stuffs from your fridge) and it seemed to make her happy enough. We watched Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, or at least half of it, before we both began to fall asleep in the living room. I need to find an idea of what to cook tonight. We’ve got shitloads of chicken breasts in the freezer, so I’ll most likely cook some chicken with some pasta on the side. I’m thinking about some chicken with mushrooms and some kind of béchamel. For the pasta, I’m still wondering if I’ll do a different sauce or if I’ll use the béchamel as the sauce… Well, I just got back from lunch, and it’s more or less exactly what my wife cooked. So I’ll need to find another idea.

Today I should get my wage wired and a quite nice tax refund from the government for some mistakes they made asking me to pay more than what I owe them. Which is very cool considering the fact that we’ve got 5.000won left in our pockets (we bought several flight tickets, medical bills and usual expenses this month).

I have 7 days of annual leave left and I’m wondering if my company will pay them to me. I’ll ask them Monday morning, and if they don’t want to buy them from me, I’ll get a week off before the date I’m supposed to leave. They really won’t like that, but I’ve worked for it, and I’ve earned it.

I’m still waiting for a quotation from someone for a second-hand thinkpad. My dream-laptop would be an IBM thinkpad with the Korean keyboard, Ubuntu 9.1 and an upgraded hard disk drive. I’d remove whatever sticker is on the shell and put my family crest on it. From what my grandpa found out during his genealogy researches, my great-great-great-great-great grandfather was a Dutch ex-con whom won an aristocratic “Duke” title at gambling. It’s apparently all he won, as we don’t have any property, heritage or wealth… Plus, both my grandfather and my father were born in the Old Country’s projects, so I’m definitely sure that my grandparents didn’t hide any money from my cousins and I.

Also, today I finally beat that fucking golf game I have on my cellphone. It's called "Grand Golf". While taking a dump, some people read the newspaper, some use their laptop, some play gameboy. As for me, I play "Grand Golf" on my 3 years old piece-of-shit cell-phone. I finally completely beat the game. There are three levels of difficulty "Easy, Normal, Hard". Each requires you to fulfill 4 "missions" one is a 18 holes with a specific par required (harder every time), one is a 10 shots "near", one is a "stroke" and the last one is a 10 shots "Putt". Putting is already my weakness in real golfing, but on that game, it leaves me absolutely clueless. I must have been in good luck today, since I finally fulfilled the 7 good shots requirement over the 10 shots. When I finally beat that fucking game, it displayed "Congratulations, you may try again from level 1 and therefore improve your player's stats"... I decided than I won't.

Anyway, time to take a break to see if my bank account is happy again.

See you later alligators,

Wood’s day - 목요일 – Thursday

2010-02-25T11:44:00.001+09:00

Today is wood’s day, and it’s raining. I forecasted it yesterday, thanks to my wrist’s superpowers. Superman is incredibly strong and he can fly, Gambit can destroy something by simply staring at it, Flash can run faster than the harshest winds, and I can forecast the rain with my wrist. I’m some badass superhero, saving the old Korean ajjumas from getting their perms messed up by the rain. My other superpower is to be able to ingest that much alcohol without throwing up. Hence, my superhero name, Mister Baekseju.

This morning, I gave my team leader my resignation. I’m stopping my duties on March 31st. The Korean big boss is in a group meeting back in Europe at the moment. My original European boss is at that meeting too. I can’t contact any of them yet, so I’ll announce them on Monday. My original boss probably doesn’t give a shit, since he’s now in charge of an European branch totally unrelated to our Korean branch, but I think I should tell him. He’s the one who hired me; he’s one of those whom should know that I’m leaving. Simple matter of principles. I feel a kind of relief that I made it “official”.

After everyone is advised of that resignation, I’ll send my resume to my company’s branch located 2 kilometers far from my hometown. It’s a tiny agency with 3 or 4 people, so I don’t think that they’ll have anything for me, but it’s worth a shot. Like the Gorilla (my badass daddy) says: “Who doesn’t give a try, never gets anything”. I agree with that saying. I’d also say that “A sitting intellectual will never go as far as a walking dumbass”. I’m a dumbass, and I’ve so far walked further than most of my intellectual acquaintances.

Let’s face it, I’m not that bright, I have a shitty 2 years university degree, and I’m getting a headache just looking at a mathematic formula. Lots of my good friends (I love them) on the other hand, are fucking clever, have tons of degrees, can solve scientific equations with neutrons and shit in less time than it takes me to take a piss. Truth is that they’re still sitting on their asses waiting for jobs, and a wife/husband. I guess that sometimes it’s a blessing to be born a lucky dumbass. It makes you hungry. I thank God everyday for providing me such a chaotic and lucky great life.

Many virulent atheists ask me why I believe in God. I find atheists much more virulent than religious fanatics sometimes. For you information, I’m a fake Roman Catholic. If it makes any sense. I’m Catholic just because I was born in Europe and that I believe in the after-life. I don’t agree at all with the fucking clergy. Pops, cardinals and vice-cardinals are fucking disgusting jokes. These motherfuckers should be expelled, as they’re leading people backwards and think that they’re important. They’re fucking useless intolerant, rich and close minded pieces of shit, diverted from their real faith.

I have a deistic approach to my religion. I believe in God, I believe that heaven and hell are just right here Earth, and that we, humans, have the power to make that place heaven or hell depending on our actions. I have faith that one day, the human will make it a paradise even though it doesn’t look like it nowadays. I believe in Karma and reincarnation. I’m definitely more of a Buddhist/Deist than a Catholic. I’m probably Catholic just coz I’m half Guido and that it was the first religion that was front of me when I decided that I believed in something. Plus, it’d make my mother happy. I wouldn’t be able to be a Muslim or a Jewish anyway, I’m way too much keen on the bottle and the pork charcuterie.

I’m always amazed how my diary entries follow absolutely no logical shape. I’m starting speaking about the rain, and I end up speaking about how dumb I am, and about my deep beliefs.

Last week, I’ve sent my candidature to a special program launched by the Old Country’s government. It’s called something like “Acquired Experience Validation”. If I’m accepted into this program, I’ll have to build a thesis/presentation to convince a big-shots jury to give me a Bachelor Degree in International Business. This is very hard, and it takes time. Success rate is less than 20%. I’ll have to pay 900 euros of fees from my own pocket. But as the Gorilla says “Who doesn’t try anything, never gets anything”.

If I get that Bachelor Degree, I’ll start a distance-learning Master Degree in International Business. I’ll probably do it in an Irish, Northern-Irish, Scottish, Welsh or British structure. I’m lucky enough to be able to simply drive my car to the UK. But I don’t know if I’ll be bright enough to understand those fucking text-books. Plus, I hate Law and Economy. I was obliged to study law and Economy from High School till my Associate. They’re the lousiest subjects you’ll ever get to study. It’s complicated, it’s harsh, and it’s pointless. Law and Economy are always in International Sales programs. Anyway, I really need to make up for my laughable Diploma Section on my resume one way or another.

Last time I went back to the Old Country, the Gorilla gave me three books. It’s a trilogy. He told me that they were super good. So I began to read the first of them. The name is Millenium by Stieg Larsson. The author died moments after he gave all the three books to his publisher. Sucks.

I just got a call from the Finnish exchange students I have beers with from time to time. I like those boys, they’re cool friends. They just landed 10 minutes ago, and I’m the first one they called. That’s sweet haha. My best buddy from here just got back from Thailand too this morning, so we might end up having a few beers tonight. Let’s see.

See you later alligators,

Water’s day - 수요일 – Wednesday

2010-02-24T15:30:00.001+09:00

Today is Water’s day, even though it won’t rain today. But I think that it’ll rain tomorrow or maybe during the night. I can forecast the rain thanks to my right forearm. I had an accident a few years back, and got all my wrist’s tendons, ligaments and major arteries cut. Nasty bloody shit. If the emergencies had arrived 5 minutes late I’d be eating dandelions by the roots. The surgeon fixed me very well and I luckily got back 100% mobility, though. It’s like nothing happened. Except for my forearm aching when it’s going to rain the day after, and my previous apartment completely covered with huge blood stains from ground to ceiling (my landlady was pissed).

Every single Korean being in the universe held his/her breath today at 1pm. Kim Yuna or whatever the fuck is her name was “competing” against another Japanese figure ice-skater. They apparently have some rivalry going since a couple years back. More than that, she’s Japanese, which inevitably leads every single Korean being to hate her with all their heart. Luckily for the Koreans, Yuna is higher the ranking than the Japanese. Every clapped and cheered in the office, and kept including “Our great country” and “Japanese” in every phrase for a good ten minutes. I’m myself happy that Korea did well. It’s my second country, afterall. Even though they’ll brag about their medals to every foreigner for a good 5 years.

I’ve been working on my trip lately, now that I have the flight tickets. I will try to visit two or three “must see” in each place, and then just hang around the non-touristy areas. I’m a weird traveler, I don’t really enjoy my trips if I’m not seeing the real heart of the place. In Jakarta, I’ll try and catch up with a friend from back in China who is from Bandung (180km south of Jakarta). I don’t have much time in each city, though. Only 2 to 4 days in each place.

In every country I’ll visit, I want to eat in the back streets joints, drink the local stuffs and try to speak a few words of the language and see them laugh at my ridiculous pronunciation. I want to have lunch off street-food joints among the local construction workers. I’m absolutely weird, but to my mind, this is traveling. Not going to exclusively take pictures of monuments and stuffs only kept standing for the foreign tourists. I plan to do fuck all during my final stop, in Hochiminh. I want to hang around the shadiest districts where white butts don’t step foot, and drink 0.20$ Bia Hoi pints with the locals. For all I know, I want to be obliged to draw stuffs to make them understand what I’m trying to explain them. I also want to arrive at the airport more than 4 hours in advance, in order to get useless wasted in the all-you-can-drink business class lounge’s bar. An alcoholic tribute to the beginning of a new chapter in our life and to the end of another.

I’m thinking about bringing a laptop on the trip. I definitely won’t have enough patience to write down on a notebook and then to re-write everything on a computer. Plus I can’t even read my own handwriting. Really. So I’d like to write my thoughts on the laptop directly and to download my pictures on it. When I think about it, I’ll sometimes have time to kill in hotel rooms, plane and train trips, etc… Plus, I’d like to be able to call my wife and family for free through skype. That’d be really convenient. Problem is that I don’t have a laptop. I’m checking around but I can’t seem to find a correct second-hand one for less than 200.000won…If any of you has a good tip, let me know. I ideally would like some solid stuff like a Thinkpad.

Anyway, today I’ll keep cool at home, as I’m still a little bit hung over from last night. I had a few beers at home and a few others with a couple of friends at my favorite bar. We played darts, chatted, drank beer and smoked cigarettes. That was cool, but it didn’t feel complete, since my best friend from here is still in holidays in Thailand. I think he’s coming back tonight. I miss that motherfucker.

See you later alligators,

Fire’s day – 화요일 – Tuesday

2010-02-23T18:07:00.003+09:00

Today is Fire’s day, and it was a little bit warm outside, though not that hot.

It’s been a while since I stopped to post everyday. For the good reason that I’ve been busy as fuck. As most of you know we don’t wish to stay much longer in Kimchiland. I’ve got an unlimited work contract, but I can’t take the company’s environment and pressure anymore. I need new challenges, we have a nice house back home. Well, at least nicer than the 400 bucks a month shoe-boxes that you’re bound to, here…

Well, yesterday we bought my flight tickets. I’m going to leave in early April, destination Hanoi, Vietnam. I’ll then visit Vientiane, Laos; Phnom Penh, Cambodia; Siem Reap/Angkor Wat, Cambodia; Bangkok, Thailand; Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; meet an old friend from back in China in Jakarta, Indonesia; fly to Singapore. I’ll then go back to Vietnam, but in Hochiminh City this time, where I’ll spend my days drinking 0.10$ Bia-Hoi pints in the shady joints of Saigon’s shadier districts, until my Business Class Flight to Europe departs on the 26th at night.

We need to go to the Old Country's embassy next week in order to make my wife's spouse visa and in order to make my address changes. I also need to make my Vietnam multi-entries visa.

I've been sending hundreds of resumes to recruitment agencies of the Old Country over the past few days. I don't know if it'll be much help, but I actually don't care that much. I'll be able to work for and with the Gorilla (Mister Baekseju Senior) in his new business until I find an actual job. My parents are gone skiing with my dozens of cousins and aunts. It's kind of a big family meeting. My dad won 2000 euros at the casino, and therefore payed the holidays (x2). My family name is blessed by the Gods of luck, so I should not worry much about the jobs.

See you later alligators,

Music - Yoon Mirae a.k.a "T" a.k.a "Tasha"

2010-02-20T14:08:00.005+09:00

Today I'd like to introduce to a Korean woman named Tasha.

Here real name is Natasha Shanta Reid in American, and Yoon Mirae in Korean.

Her father is African-American and her mother is Korean. She was born in Texas but grew up in that tiny racist country called Korea. She went through lot of shit coz of her tainted skin. See, alligators, Korean people is super racist and despise anything or anyone who doesn't look like them. So she had lots of problems while growing up here.

I'm not a big fan of Korean songs, but that stuff is cool enough to be promoted.

Plus she's hot.

Korean Bullshit: Company Dinners

2010-02-19T17:03:00.002+09:00

If there’s one thing that most of us waegookins living in Korea despise more than anything, it’s the “Company Dinner” a.k.a. “Hwaesik” in Korean. Koreans seem to enjoy it very much, though, since they get to get themselves useless wasted on the company’s credit card for free. And in Korea, getting something for free is a national pride. Koreans think they deserve the “Service” (free stuffs) at the restaurant, gas station, bar, or whatever the fuck else. It’s a national pride. Even if it’s a piece of rotten carton-board, they’ll feel like the most important persons on earth when they’ll receive it. See, not having a free Sprite 33cl can at the restaurant is a fucking scandal, even though absolutely none will drink it.

The concept of those company dinners, is originally to “build” your team. They call that “Team Building”. They believe that eating dinner and getting completely blacked-out drunk all together, will “build” your relationship to a better extent. The real purpose of this dinner is actually to be able to criticize you or something about the company, with a smile under the pretext to be drunk and to “like you bely much-ee”. “Oohh Wongjoo is a bely unskilled-uh Sawon (bottom-of-the-hierarchy employee)” *four shots of soju* or “You no speak-ee Kolian bely well, it problem fol dee company” *with his/her arm around your shoulders* * four more shots of soju*.

These are just fucking pointless dinners, where you have to endure the close minded fucktards who share your table. There’s nothing less interesting than having a conversation with an average Korean office worker. I swear, even an episode of Derrick in German subtitled Uzbek is more enlightening that speaking with those empty-brains. They have pre-made judgments on everything and pretend to know everything. Truth is that they never do anything else than: Going to work, hit the gym, get black-outs on soju 3 times a week, watch Kang-Oodong’s shows, sleep. They’re racist as fuck, and aren’t ashamed about it at all. They follow the crowd without thinking by themselves, and for the most never stepped out of Korea.

Even though they’re red jealous of you being a Westerner living half way around the world, they like to openly criticize your home-country for any reason or pretend dislike a food/alcohol from there just in order to look more proud and shining to your other co-workers. Like “Oh, I hate wine and western food, soju, makkoli and kimchi are much better”. Or “I really don’t like Western fashion” (While Korea’s Male Fashion is basically The West’s Female Fashion). They also like to show off how Korea is shining in the world through sports they don’t even know the rules of. Korea Hwayting ! This all is just a pathetic attempt to draw attention…

Well, it’s already rough enough for most of us to pretend to like each other at work, but having to smile at the fact that the same coworker that snitched to your boss that you’re using internet at work (while the cunt is doing fuck all on naver all day), is trying to pretend to be your BFF is just the summit of hypocrisy.

I’m always dreading for those fucking events. I had my monthly one earlier this week, and it was a fucking nightmare. I’m glad it’s over and I hope I won’t get any until I give them my resignation letter.

See you later alligators,

A beer which will put you on your ass.

2010-02-18T13:57:00.001+09:00

Today, some Kilt wearing brewers broke the strongest beer record… again! Far from the Olympic Game, I’d discern them a Gold Medal anyway. Their new beer is called “Sink the Bismark” and title FOURTY FUCKING ONE percent ABV (41%ABV). Which is whiskey proof.

“Sink the Bismarck is a quadruple IPA that contains four times the hops, four times the bitterness and frozen four times to create at a staggering 41% ABV.”

Here is how they describe their beer: “This is IPA amplified, the most evocative style of the craft beer resistance with the volume cranked off the scale. Kettle hopped, dry hopped then freeze hopped for a deep fruit, resinous and spicy aroma. A full out attack on your taste-buds ensues as the incredibly smooth liquid delivers a crescendo of malt, sweet honey, hop oils and a torpedo of hop bitterness which lasts and lasts.”

Brewdog is actually famous for aggravating UK’s watchdogs, as they’re always innovating with controversial products. I’d say, for my part, that they’re kick-ass brewers as they’re experimenting stuffs than no other brewer has done in the past. Their last product, Tactical Nuclear Penguin was the first world’s strongest beer, titling 32% ABV (it’s Brandy proof). I feel their approach more responsible than irresponsible. They’re actually encouraging people to be responsible drinkers, by brewing high alcoholic beers to SIP on. And not getting wasted with a whole 33cl bottle of it.

Another of their products which led to a big fuss in the monarchic country which hosts them, is “Nanny State”. It’s an “Imperial Mild Beer” as they call it, titling 1.1%ABV. It’s brewed with shit-loads of hops, pushing the low ABV beers to whole new limits. Imagine a kick-ass IPA that wouldn’t get you drunk. Well, they made the dream come true. The low alcoholic percentage doesn’t put it in the range of alcoholic beer. When you add all those facts together, and compare it with the name of the beer, it’s like showing their middle-fingers to UK’s watchdogs/law makers with a big smile.

I like those guys, and might buy a share or two later today. Hurry up, though, the closing time is tomorrow 23:00 UK time-zone. Lowest share is 230£.

www.equityforpunks.com

Dee Olampeek Game-juh

2010-02-17T11:59:00.001+09:00

As all of you, expats living in Kimchi-Land could notice, it’s the Winter Olympic Games season. You sure would be reminded by all the Koreans crazing on their DMB TV-Phone when a Korean athlete is earning a Bronze medal, or when you co-workers spend a full hour debating about whether or Apolo Anton Ohno should be prosecuted for felony, or maybe hung by the balls on a public place and left to dry on the spot at everyone’s sight.

Speaking about Apolo Anton Ohno, I like the dude’s style. My wife almost punched me for having said such nonsense. But let’s face it; the man was raised by a single IMMIGRANT dad. The guy climbed his way to the top of his passion, roller/ice-skating, and earns medals by just patiently waiting way behind the crowd that they crash into each other and then rush to the medal. I’m sorry my dear Korean/Kyopo readers, but this is fucking cool. This has nothing to do with Korean, Uzbek, Japanese or whatever other nation’s athlete.

Anyway, I’m impressed about how much Koreans are kicking asses at speed skating. They’re very good at it. I’m wondering if they’ll be as good at other sports. I’ve included an embedded link on the bottom right of this page, so you can follow the medals count. At the moment I’m writing those words, the Old Country is in the top 3, a couple of ranks higher than Korea. I don’t really give a shit, but Koreans seem to care a lot about it. So I guess it’s a good thing for the moment.

My wife is cheering at The Old Country’s athletes as much as she does for the Korean ones. It makes me smile to see her slowly becoming a Kyopo. She used to be so much Korean when we first met, and I now can definitely say that she’s 60% Korean, 40% from the Old Country.

Well, enjoy the Olympic Games season. I, personally, don’t give a flying crap.

See you later alligators,

A door closes, another one opens - Part 7 (Final)

2010-02-15T11:30:00.002+09:00

I'm sitting on my sofa with that Korean Lady, and we're talking. It's been about a year since I first met her at the restaurant. The first month have been a long hunt for me, but I finally got her heart. It was not easy. She's a decade older than me, she's from a conservative Korean family and she's as much wounded inside as I am. We both have been through the same shit, and it gets us on the same frequency right away. No cheating, no lying, respect, trust. The rules are set and clear.

Since she arrived in my life, lots of things changed to a positive aspect. She’s my neighbor, so we kinda live with each other since Day 1. She hates her roommate, so she stays at my place. When her apartment contract ended, we decided that she should move in my apartment. It had been 6 months that we were together already, and she could find an apartment for herself later if she wanted to. She actually never moved out and our relationship grew stronger. We even had a joint account after a while. It was much easier for the expenses, rent and so on. A perfect couple life, punctuated of course, by cultural differences and such.

One day, my bosses came to Shanghai. They had a meeting with the Chinese boss. Their decision was clear, they couldn’t stand any more of the stupid and cheap managerial choices the Chinese boss was making, and they wanted to close down the company. I was to lose my job in less than 2 months. As I told them, that was a very stupid choice, coz to this day they still didn’t get back their money. Never mess with a corrupt communist official in the PRC.

So here we are, sitting on our sofa with my beloved Korean lady. I’m telling her about my company’s closure. I’m asking her about us. What are we going to do? How does she see the future? Our future? To which she simply answers: “My future is with you, anywhere.” I then drop on my knee and ask her something that I thought I’d never ask to any woman ever again: “Do you want to get engaged to me?”

Next thing I know, we’re on the plane to Seoul, so I can formally ask her hand to her father. At Incheon Airport, we're taking a Limousine Bus to my sister-in-law's city of residence. The bus is crowded, so I sit at the back, and my girl sits at the front. Next to me is a white dude in suits and tie. We begin to chat, he gives me his name and surname, and tells me that he's searching for someone in my major back in my sister-in-law's city of residence, and that I should give him a call.

Back in Shanghai, I'm ripping the internet apart and finally finds his phone number, and get him on the phone. He wants me to come back in Korea and have a job interview with him. Two weeks later, we moved, here, in Korea.

Happy Lunar New Year and shit

2010-02-14T22:23:00.001+09:00

Happy Lunar New Year !
Xin Nian Kuai Le / Gong Xi Fa Cai !
Sae haebok manhee padusaeyo !
Happy Looney New year !

All those stuffs ! ;-)

Good luck at the in-laws' for all of you married men out there.

How the adventure took a new turn yet again - Part 6

2010-02-11T11:35:00.000+09:00

I'm sitting on my desk, at the company, expecting an important call from the Old Country about some work related thing. It's a little bit late, since I have to wait for 9am to happen in the Old Country. I’m now more than 6 months into deep in my Shanghainese Expatriation. Things changed quite a lot. Everything went so fast that I feel like it’s been 3 years that I live here. I’m apt to hold a conversation in Mandarin, and even babble a few words of Shanghainese, I know Shanghai like my pocket and give the directions and shortcuts to the taxi drivers themselves, I’ve got hundreds of friends, and I moved into a new apartment. I didn't shave nor cut my hair since my grandma passed away, in order to respect her last request. It has never been that long.

I now live in Korean-Town in Shanghai's Minhang-Qu district. I couldn’t handle any more of that hospital-like apartment, located in the center of Shanghai. I preferred to move to the outskirts, with a bigger and warmer apartment. I ended up in Korean-Town quite randomly actually. The past 6 months have been quite chaotic, relationships speaking. I broke up with my American girlfriend on the second week I was there. No trust + long distance relationship = failure. I didn’t blame her for that, we were just too young. Shit happens. Followed literally dozens and dozens of one night stands, and a few heart-breaks as well. I’m more and more wounded inside, and I’m drinking and smoking like a demon. Is it in order to forget? I don’t know. It just seems like the thing to do lately. Plus, it's cheap.

I've been literally going out every night since I arrived, in order to not face being alone at home. One day, I fall super sick, my stomach hurts, my lungs burn and I can't speak loud. I realize that my body pushed the alarm button. I decide to take a break from partying, and I'm staying at home. I begin to cook at home, I finally get to meet my house-maid because I actually spend time at home, I find cheap DVDs, good booze for my aperitif, and slowly settle down in my house. I'm now getting accustomed being alone at home.

I've bumped into that pretty Korean lady a lot in the residence over the past few months. She seems very nice and polite, too. She always answers my «hellos» and smiles at me. Two nights ago, my best friends from here, a guy from my Old Country and his Korean girlfriend, Jin, invited me for dinner, and I was being introduced to a Korean girl. Jin wanted to find me a nice girlfriend. I came to the dinner just to be polite and chat and drink with my bud. I didn't like the girl they introduced me too. Even though she was older than me, she was too young, too plain and too inexistant. I like strong women. That girl's colleague was joining us for a few shots of Soju later on.

What a suprise it was for me when I saw the nice and pretty Korean lady of the residence entering the restaurant. What are the odds? We liked each other right away. She was pissed off coz her colleague hadn't called her earlier and that she had to change from her pajamas to real clothes and go out. That made me laugh, and that made her laugh too. Both of us have strong tempers, like to eat and drink, speak way too much and like to laugh. The whole night was spent drinking like bottomless kegs, and we finished in Noraebang with 1 bottle of scotch emptied. We exchanged phone numbers and said good bye at the main gate of our apartment complex.

Here I am, sitting on my desk, a week after that great night out with friends and that Korean lady from the residence. My phone is finally ringing, but it's not my boss from the Old Country, it's that pretty lady from the residence...

How I ended up abroad - Part 5

2010-02-10T17:11:00.001+09:00

We’re traveling Economy Class, on a low-cost Chinese Airlines. I’m not traveling with my ex-boss, but with his new partner. I'll understand later on that this guy is always on the cheap, hence the low cost Chinese Airlines. I’ve now 3 bosses: My ex-boss, his partner and a Chinese communist official. I’m looking through the window of the plane, and I’m seeing that silver moon again. This time, I’m not intoxicated, but I agree with the statement I made 2 months ago, when I was smoking my funny-cigarette out of the window. The moon is wonderful.

I’m thinking about the decision I made a couple of months ago looking at the moon. I’m asking myself if I’m not running away the farther I can from her. I’m wondering if I’m not trying to forget about all this pain. One thing is sure, as my Dad said; it’s a hell of an opportunity for a young man like me, whom is working as a mover with an Associate Degree in Marketing and Sales.

I’m spending the whole flight thinking about the past year and a half, and all the stuffs that happened. I’m beginning to realize that this sounds like some new-age novel, and I’m wondering how a simple guy like me could be the narrator. I’m a total anti-hero; I was born in the projects rather than in some fancy suburb, I go heavy on the bottle and other stuffs, I’ve worked shitty jobs which make your hands very dirty, I’ve got a community college education and I’m quite broken inside.

Before I can finish thinking about that useless crap, we’re landing in Shanghai Pudong Airport, and we’re welcomed by an older Chinese dude who doesn’t speak a word of English or any other language (except Chinese of course). As we seat in his mini-van, he, Mister Ye, drags me to the front, next to him, and begins to speak to me in Mandarin like if I were fluent (I didn’t speak a single word of it at that time). He introduces me to my first Chinese cigarette “Double-Happiness”, and I’m coughing a lung on my knees. That makes him laugh and he gives me a pad on the back blabbering strange words. I’ll learn later that he’s my Chinese Boss’s chauffeur, and we’ll build a strangely strong friendship. His daughter will even spend Christmas at my parents’, in the Old Country, the following year.

We’re a little hungry, so after demonstrating him with my hands how much we’re craving for food, he brings us to a tiny joint hidden in some back street of the main road of Shanghai. My first breakfast was quite awesome. I had lots of dumplings, rice, a soup and 2 bottles of Harbin beer (Mister Ye doesn’t like Tsing-Tao). I’ll learn later that what will become my favorite dumplings are made with pork faces’ skin. I still eat it anyway. I’m struggling with the chopsticks as Mister Ye teaches me the first word I’ll learn in Mandarin “Kan-pai!” (Cheers!).

I’m then brought to the company for 20 minutes, to be formally introduced to my team; and I’m then brought to my apartment for a rest. My assistant, Lingwei, is quite skilled in my native language, and he speaks English really well. He tells me good bye and tells me that he’ll pick me tomorrow morning at my door to go to the company. I unpack my baggage, which consists in 2 suits, 3 shirts, underwear, socks, a pair of jeans, 2 t-shirts, 2 bottles of wine and a cork-lifter. I’m struck by the cold atmosphere of my apartment. All the walls are white, the ground is made of cold stone and everything seems big, yet small. I decide that the most of my apartment will be essentially confined to the bedroom.

After a walk around my apartment, I’m coming back quite depressed to what’s now “home”. Everything around my place is busy, crowded and noisy. Everything is dirty and stinks. My whole street is crowded with shops fixing dish-washers, laundry-machines, truck-engines and other mechanic-related stuff, right on the sidewalk. Every pedestrian empties its nose on the sidewalk, garbage is everywhere.

I’m opening a bottle of wine, pouring myself a glass, and I’m discovering a balcony in my bed room. I’m sitting on the window, drinking my wine and smoking a cigarette, looking at this strange scenery which is now my home.

Picture is from me. Taken from my 1st apartment's balcony in Shanghai,

on Xinzhalu, close to the Bund.

On 4th Feb 2007, the day of my arrival in Shanghai.

How my expatriation really began - Part 4

2010-02-10T12:47:00.001+09:00

I’m smoking a cigarette-which-makes-you-laugh-silly, standing on a chair with my head outside of my sister’s office. Though, I don’t feel like laughing silly. I’m even quite broken into pieces actually. It’s late at night, and the moon is silvery and wonderful. It’s probably the magic-cigarette that makes me feel like everything is pretty. My little-sister (she’s my best-friend) comes, gives me a hug, doesn’t forget to complain to me about the strong smell of the funny-cigarette and how our parents could smell it from downstairs, and she kisses me good night.

It’s early January, and I’m just back from my last trip to the US. I’ve been doing those roundtrips quite a lot of times already. She even came here for a month, once. Since Part 3, hundreds of things happened. I passed my final exams with success, I went for a second whole month in the US, then she came in the Old Country, I found a very highly paid job (almost twice as much as when I was a Sales Person) as a mover which required me to spend 6 nights a week in a motel at the frontier between the Old Country and the first country up north. I made a lot of money, and I could take a month off whenever I wanted and as many times I wanted to. It permitted me to travel many times to and back from the US.

I even got to celebrate my 21st birthday in the US, with my girlfriend’s stepdad, uncle and brother. It was a fun night, and they even brought me to a strip club. That was a real fun 21st birthday celebration.

During the Fall, my super cool badass Grandma (my mom’s mom) got sicker and sicker, until she called my father and I to come to the hospital to say Hi. (We used to visit her a lot) She spoke to my Dad alone for a good one hour, and I later learnt that it was about how she wanted the money and all other stuffs to be arranged for her. She trusted my Dad like her own son. After then, she wanted to talk to me, and she asked me (I’m quoting her words) to stop to speak like a Mobster, and to stop to shave my head like a Convict. Even on her deathbed she continued to joke with me. I truly loved my Grandma like a second mother. Imagine a Grandma who would tell you when you’re 17 years old “Oh, cut the crap, I know that this black young lady is your girlfriend. You’ve got good tastes, son! By the way, go and get yourself a beer, I’ve put a 6-pack of your favorite beer in the fridge, and bring me back some Scotch and some black olives while you’re at it. Let’s speak about that young lady”. She passed away a couple of days later, leaving me completely utter-destroyed. The last preceding years confronted me to Death a lot more than I should have normally been Also, three weeks prior, in the US, my girlfriend’s grandmother died holding my hand, from lungs cancer. This is quite a very difficult experience than the one to see someone dying while looking into your eyes and holding your hand while you are a young adult.

The trip before my grandma left, I proposed my girlfriend to get engaged, as we were already speaking about future together. A relationship between a European and an US citizen is quite impossible, visa and other formalities speaking. Getting married would have made it much easier for the both of us to build something together. To which she accepted with joy. We announced our families, and everyone was happy. One day, while she was at the University, I built her a bookshelf and transferred everything from her old broken bookshelf to the new fancy one I built. One of the books fell on my foot, and I mistook it for one of the diaries she was writing for me.

So I opened it randomly to check out if it were, and read a few lines. The little I read broke my heart into pieces, and threw this whole year of adventures out of the window. She had cheated on me twice, during the first month of our relationship. I put the book back on the shelf, and felt my heart imploding. You know, this sensation that makes yourself feel like you’re falling from yourself to fifty floors below. When you head feels like cotton, that you realize all the illusions you had, when you feel like you’re going to throw up your heart and that your throat doesn’t let the oxygen go to your brain anymore. When you want to wake up and pretend that it was a very bad dream, but that you’re well awake, even more awake than ever.

We spoke about it, and were as much devastated as each other. I couldn't feel anger or hate against her, but I couldn't trust her anymore. When you can't trust your girlfriend, something is broken that you will never be able to fix. At least, not with a lot of work and many years. We decided to keep going and see how it went. Two weeks later, I was right there, smoking that funny cigarette, heart-broken, standing on my chair and thinking about the last few days. The day before, my ex-boss, the one I worked for a Sales Person during my Associate Degree, gave me a call.

He was proposing me a job in Shanghai, China.

How my expatriation began - Part 3

2010-02-09T21:26:00.000+09:00

Here I am, grilling a cigarette outside of Miami-Dade airport, waiting for my –now- girlfriend to arrive from Saint Louis with her family. It's been a week or so since I arrived. Her mom and her stepfather are getting married the day after, on the beaches of Miami and we’re boarding a 3 days cruise to the Bahamas right after. I’m sitting on my luggage, the sun is heavy, but the air is fresh, thanks to the ocean nearby and some cool wind. I’m wearing tank tops, slippers and light jeans, but all these persons walking in the street in sole swimming shorts or bikinis make me feel like I’m some sort of lost Eskimo teleported in a re-run of Baywatch straight from the North-Pole.

The past few days since my arrival in the US have been quite a dream. People are super nice with me, cigarettes are cheap, weather is nice, food is great, I’m driving my girlfriend’s mom Mazda MX-5 convertible stick-shift, all women I’m introduced to are keeping me talking just in order to hear my accent, I’m drinking Budweiser Classic for free at my girlfriend’s mom’s bar, and I’m relaxing and enjoying everyday like a lizard under the sun, with that pretty girlfriend of mine. Plus, my girlfriend’s family is treating me well, really well.

My girlfriend and all her family finally arrive, and we’re taking a taxi. What a surprise when I noticed that literally half of Miami’s population was unable to speak English. I had to translate from English to Spanish to the taxi driver what we wanted to negotiate with him, I later on even had to explain a waitress, in Spanish, at the restaurant what a Rum and Pineapple juice was, coz my girlfriend’s brother didn’t make a point. No shit. I quite liked that actually, this big melting pot we’ve been told about back home, but that is actually inexistent in the Midwest.

I’ll spare you the annoying details, but the weddings were super cool, the cruise was insane and the rest of the vacations were great. Jestskiing in the Bahamas between the sharks, and drinking Rum and cold beers while swimming in crystal-clear seas was particularly great. That, or the 5 stars food every night on the boat, the casinos, or maybe the free room service any hour of the night. I’m not sure…

Back to Completelylostsuburbian-Ville, Saint Louis County, Missouri; it’s time for me to pack my stuff and prepare to leave. My girlfriend asks me to come back again, less than a month later in the end of July, and I accept. I’m working two jobs, including one with nice tips, so I can definitely do that financially speaking. Plus, my contract ends in the end of August and I still have 5 weeks of holidays to use or my boss will be obliged to pay them to me twice the price of the regular working price.

As I’m sitting in the plane heading back to the pressure of my final exams results and my sick badass grandma, I’m beginning to think that I’m getting involved in a serious relationship.

How I began my expatriation - Part 2

2010-02-09T09:57:00.002+09:00

Here I am at the Old Country’s airport, 2 hours before my flight departure. My bestfriend brought me there, and we’re having breakfast waiting for my boarding call; one long coffee for him, eggs sunny-side-up, rice and a pint of beer for me. It’s been a good 6 years since the last time I boarded a plane, and I don’t have good memories of the food onboard, I prefer to be careful and have my stomach full before to engage on a 10 hours journey to the other side of the Atlantic. The next 60 flights I’ll take during my expatriation will prove me wrong.

The past few weeks, since my visa approval, have been quite crazy. I’ve had all my final exams, I’ve worked my ass off at work in order to continue to make a good impression to my boss (I’m a Sales person for a company of express deliveries three days a week, and I’m studying for my Associate degree 2 days a week), I’ve been working on my English and my beloved badass grandma is strongly stomach sick. In 3 weeks, I will know whether not I passed my degree. I’m quite pressured about that. I’m a dick in Law and Economics, but both are very high coefficients in my degree.

Soon enough the call for my boarding is made, I say goodbye to my friend Ludo, give him a hug, get through the immigration and board the plane. The journey happens to be quite nice, and I’m truly surprised to be able to drink beer and red wine with an okay meal. I’m traveling with American Airlines, and on U.S. airlines companies, nothing is free, so I’m obliged to pay 5 bucks for my mignonette of Jack Daniels for my aperitif. No big deal, I made some change from euro to dollar with my tips’ cash to some Turkish friend. The American flight hostess is super nice and gives me 3 extra mignonettes discretely and winks at me. I later learnt by another flight hostess from my Old Country, that it’s because she had a crush on my accent, as all American women had. The 3 jack and cokes treated me well, and I found myself sleeping most of the 10 hours.

I wake up in Cincinnati Airport, in Ohio, a little bit hung-over. The journey through the US customs was an absolute nightmare. I had the luck to travel in the US one day after an attempted bombing of a plane. I’ve literally been asked dozens of questions prior to get the stamp on my passport and be able to connect to my flight transfer’s terminal. They also kept my deodorant and my 80 bucks Armani perfume pretending that it was for safety reasons and that it could be a bomb. To which I laughed until I realized that they really wanted me to believe that. Fuckers.

The 2 hours journey to Saint Louis, Missouri was quite stressful. What am I doing there? Why the fuck did I accept the proposition of a total stranger from Internet to spend holidays with her, in the ass of the Midwest? What was I thinking? What if she isn’t there waiting for me at the airport? How will I spend 2 weeks alone? Am I sure about how she looks like? Am I really sure that she’s the person she pretends to be? What the fuck am I doing? Will she recognize me?

Before I could stop panicking, we get off the plane, and I’m walking out of the baggage claim with an anxious face and a crazy-beating heart. As soon as I step out, a super hot woman runs at me, jump on me so I fall on my ass, and she tongues me passionately.

Not bad for a first step on American soil.

How my expatriation began – Part 1

2010-02-08T11:44:00.000+09:00

I decided to copy my friend Flint, and write about the past, about how I ended up in Korea. For that, we need to go back quite a few years in the past. This may be a long story !

Here I am, sitting in the U.S.A.’s Embassy, waiting for my turn. The woman right next to me, is also waiting for hers, so we begin to chat in order to kill time. She’s a Haitian refugee whom arrived in my Old Country when she was a kid. Her sisters live in Harlem, and she needs a tourist visa in order to visit them for the first time in 25 years.

I’m myself waiting for a tourist visa. She asks me why, and here I am looking back to the past few months. I’m a college students (last year of the equivalent of an Associate Degree in Marketing and Sales), and I’m only a month away from the final exams. All that adventure began 6 months before, when I grew tired of my English professor being on medical leave all the time. I was the best of my class in English, but I still knew that I was a dick. I wanted to practice it and learn it from an actual native person.

After a few posts on penpal forums, I got in contact with an American girl, whom was learning my native language too. We began to exchange a couple of emails a week, talking about our lives and other things. This couple of emails soon began to increase to an email a day, and soon enough, a strong relationship was born. The emails were deeper and deeper, and we were having webcam conversations from time to time. One day, she proposed me to spend June’s holidays together, in the US.

After requesting 2 weeks off to my employer (I was doing a special kind of program -3 days working, 2 days studying- in order to not have to pay for my degree), I decided to accept her proposition, booked my flight tickets to Saint Louis, Missouri and booked an appointment at the American embassy for a tourist visa. Back then, the Old Country’s citizens needed a tourist visa in order to enter the US. The formalities were long, expensive and painful and you weren’t assured to get the visa in the end. Nowadays, we don’t need any visa to do so.
So here I am, now, waiting for my turn at the US embassy, chatting with that Haitian born lady. She goes before me, and comes back crying. They refused her visa, as they’re afraid she’ll become an illegal immigrant after her arrival. Having family in the US is not always an insurance to get a visa. My turn rings, and I’m approaching the counter. The guy asks me in my native language why I wanted to enter the American territory, and I answered to him in broken English. He takes all my documents, gives them back to me without even looking at them, and sticks the visa on my passport.

After which he answers with a smile “Enjoy your cruise in the Bahamas, Mister _______ “.

[Guide] Guide to Survival for a European expat in the Land of the Morning Calm

2010-02-05T13:40:00.000+09:00

or eventually for a North-American/Aussie/Kiwi/South-African who’s got taste.

1. Booze
2. Food
3. Miscellaneous

1. Booze

a. Beer

As most of you, who’ve got tastes, have noticed, beer in Korea tastes like piss. They’re very close to the major commercial crap you’ll find in the US (Bud, Coors, Miller). Don’t get me wrong, the US have a kick-ass microbreweries scene. I’m sure most of you have chills up spine when thinking about Rogue’s, Sierra Nevada's brews or other insane Oregon brews you can find among the American microbrews.

In Korea, you’ll find the following –Korean- beers: Hite, Cass, Cafri, Max, Cass Red, O.B., Budweiser, Hite Stout (which is NOT a stout), S-Feel. The less horrible of all those “beers” are Hite and Hite Stout. Some swear by Max. Still, all of them will give you bad shits the morning after.

So, in order to survive here, you’ll have four choices: 1. Give up drinking beer. 2. Adapting to the local shit. 3. Brew your own. 4. Spend more money in quality foreign stuffs.

For my part, I’m mixing 2., 3., and 4. depending on the circumstances.

How to brew your own, here in Korea, is described in the following article I wrote last month.

You can find several good foreign beers in Korea, though, for a substantial price.

Emart (usually) carries: Guinness, Oettinger’s Hefeweissen, Lao Tiger, Thai Tiger, Carlsberg, Fuller’s London Pride, Kronenbourg 1664, Weheistephaner, Hoegaarden, Oettinger 8.9 dark, and other ones I don’t remember. I’d advise you to buy Oettinger’s Hefeweissen, which is a nice value for money. One of the most kick-ass beers you’ll find at Emart is Fuller’s London Pride. It’s quite pricey (3500won a 33cl can), but it’s super tasty, if you like English-Bitters.

Lottemart (usually) carries: Leffe blond, Leffe brujn, Hoegaarden, Asahi, Grolsch. I’d advise to buy Grolsch or Hoegaarden from there. Keep the Grolsch cans, as they come with fliptop-corks. Lottemart sometimes have those “packs” which come with a glass of something else.

Homeplus (usually) carries the best of all foreign beers in Korea, so I’d advise you to purchase all these beers: Samuel Adams Boston Lagers, Cooper’s stout, Salvator Paulaner, Fuller’s London Pride.

Of course, all these are depending on your precise Emart/Lottemart/Homeplus, and subject to more or less brands availability.

b. Wines

Wines in Korea are fucking ridiculously fucked-uply crazy insanely overpriced. If it tastes like shit, but that it’s popular, a bottle will be sold for about 60 dollars. Koreans have inexistent tastes in wines. They will buy what seems expensive, simply to be fancy among friends.

Once, I bought 2 bottles of a correct Spanish Catalan wine at my local Emart, for about 15.000won each. (it was already super overpriced). A couple of Koreans were spying on me over their shoulders and bought a few bottles of it right after I left. Three weeks later, the shelf doubled its size, and the price increased to 24.000won. It’s all about the popularity, not the quality. Wine is a fancy weapon for Koreans in order to show off, here.

For occasional consumption, I enjoy Chilean wines, French table wines, and Catalan wines. I decided to not spend crazy amounts of money in wines, here, and I’m contempt with the French and Chilean humble selection available for 5 bucks at my local Family mart. Californian wine is way too sweet/sugary for my tastes, but I’ll buy it if it’s the only thing available.

c. Liquor

You can find foreign booze a little bit everywhere, including crazy importation taxes.
At Costco you can find several brands of Rums (Tondena, Bacardi), Kahlua, Scotch, Bourbon, Whiskey, Whisky (notice the difference from WhiskEy), Gin, etc….

At Lotte Mart you can find cheap ass foreign booze (Commander's Vodka, London's Gin, no-brand whiskey) for your cocktails. (small bottles of tonic are sold right next to them)

At Emart you can find cheap ass foreign booze too, my favorite is “New napoleon french brandy” and I mix it with Cherry-Coke. I also sometimes mix it with Ginger Ale, as they sell small cans of ginger ale right next from it.

You can find almost every single brand of foreign booze on the following link:
http://www.kaja2002.co.kr/

My favorite cocktails:

Aged Brandy and cherry cola:
1. Age for two or three days (maximum!) New Napoleon brandy with two or three (only!) oak chips, in a very warm place, and in a hermetic container.
2. Take out the oak chips, re-bottle in the original bottle, and let the flavors mellow and blend together in the bottle for 1 week or more. More is best.
3. Mix a generous amount of French Brandy, add three ice cubes, and pour the cherry coke on top.
4. Stir with a chopstick and enjoy

(They sometimes sell the oak-chips on winekit.co.kr or on goodbeer.co.kr.)

“Aged” Captain-Q and Cola (oak chip technique as explained above, but with Captain Q instead)
Captain-Q and Ginger Ale (no need to explain)
New Napoleon French Brandy and Ginger Ale (no need to explain)
London Gin and Tonic (no need to explain)
Commander Vodka and Pure Apple Juice (no need to explain)

d. Local alcohols

Well, if I have only one tip about liquor in Korea: Don’t drink “green-bottles Soju”. These are made with low grade alcohols distilled from potato skins, tapioca and rotten vegetables, and they have high percentage of methanol (that’s right, the shit that makes you go blind and which kills your organs). Plus, they are adjusted with HUNDREDS of chemicals. So forget the Jinro, Jinro Original, Chamiseul, Cool, and all the other shits available in restaurants. If you want to drink real “healthy” soju, I’d advise the “Andong Soju”, which comes in two different forms: the 21% and the 40%. A few restaurants carry those. I drink the 21% andong soju straight and cold, in shots with meat and friends. And I make cocktails with the 40% (2 shots soju, drowned in real apple juice, ice cubes).

At the restaurant, try the “Baekseju”, which is distilled from 100% grains and malts, and then lowered down to 13%, and infused with healthy herbs. This shit is much healthier, tastier, and the hangovers are less fierce.

As for the local stuffs, you can find several nice things in Korea. Rice wine isn’t too bad, and one of them, called “Sokokju” (소곡주) is super tasty, though difficult to find. Korea produces a nice rice beer too, called “Makkoli”. Some don’t like the taste, some love it. I love it. My favorite is “Saeng Makkoli” and also “Heukmi Makkoli” (black rice makkoli, and it’s purple). “Seoul Makkoli” is not bad either.

2. Food

a. Bread
As you’ve noticed, the bread in Korea is absolute shit. They put sugar on garlic bread, they put red-bean in pastries, and even in baguettes.

I’ve found the best baguette all-over Korea at “Tous les Jours”. Their recipe for baguette is common to all the “Tous les Jours” franchises. It will cost you 1500won, and it’s quite alright.

« Tous les jours » also carries “5 grains bread” which is quite nice for toasts.

Forget Paris Baguette and the other shitty shops.

b. Meat

Not everyone is a vegetarian, and not everyone is asian built. Most of us whities need our dose of beef meat proteins on a regular basis. The main problem, though, is that the beef you’ll find in the local marts is either Hanuk (super expensive Korean top-notch beef) or American exported beef.

I’m by no mean insulting the American meat quality, but the American meat you’ll find in the US is absolutely ridiculously much better than the American meat you’ll find here. American meat is the cheapest price but also the worse quality of meat that you’ll find at your local Lottemart or Emart, here in Korea. I’ve been literally shocked by the difference between the great US meat I got to experience back in the US and the shitty US meat that you'll find here. Of course, we’re speaking about steak cuts. Ground US meat is definitely fine, to make a Bolognese sauce, or fix yourself a homemade hamburger sandwich.

My advice is to buy Australian beef, as it’s an absolutely great price to value. The quality of the meat is really great. I don’t recall the precise prices, but it’s honest. I usually purchase a few kilogs of it at once, and I then cut it in portions, removing the bad nerves and bad fats, and I bag it and freeze it for later use. You can find it at Costco or at Emart.

c. Cheese, snacks and charcuterie

Finding cheese, good snacks (olives, nachos, etc…) and charcuterie is an absolute nightmare, here, in Korea.

You can find some nice “Coeur de Lion Camembert” at Costco, American Cheddar and other stuffs, but other than that, you’ll need to go to Hannam Market in Itaewon to buy overpriced different kinds of cheese. I lately found two good websites, carrying quite a wide range of cheese and charcuterie:

http://nicedeli.com (thanks to my friend Flint)
http://www.kaja2002.co.kr/

Emart carries Spanish olives stuffed with red peppers, and they also sell plain nachos. I've seen the nacho cheese sauce in the the milk products area. Family mart has chemical cheese nachos, which are quite cool.

d. Coffee

Let’s face it, the Korean yellow sticks of instant coffees are absolute shit. Most of you invested in a kitchen coffee machine, and also in a coffee-beans grinder. If you want quality coffee beans you can find some at Costco, Starbucks or even better. Here:

http://shop.gmarket.co.kr/rbcoffee

3. Miscellaneous

Aren’t you tired to be obliged to ask your relatives to send you deodorant from abroad, due to the complete ignorance of the concept of sweat in Korea? I, am tired. I used to ask my military friend to buy me some deodorants at the American Navy Base in Seoul, but I lately found a much better solution.

I typed “Old Spice” in naver, copied-pasted the hangul, and searched again, and that popped up:

http://www.11st.co.kr/product/SellerProductDetail.tmall?method=getSellerProductDetail&xfrom=search^prd&prdNo=26755070

Ain’t I fantastic?

I’m married, but I’m guessing that lots of guys must face troubles with the ridiculously small condoms which are available here. I can’t help you there, and you’ll have to continue to ask you mother to send them to you from abroad.

Feel free to add your tips, so I can edit this article and add them.

Water’s Day – 수요일 – Wednesday

2010-02-03T16:38:00.000+09:00

Today is Water’s day, but it’s not rainy. Instead, it’s so cold that my nuts are freezing as soon as I step foot outside.

Speaking about nuts, today my wife and I had to go to the hospital for various tests and check-ups, and I had to get a full examination. I didn’t understand well what my wife meant by FULL examination, until near the end of it, when the old Korean doctor asked me to drop my pants and massaged my family-jewels, checking for any anomaly. It is a very disturbing experience that the one to get your cojones massaged by a very old and super wrinkled Korean dude with a Sissi voice whom keeps repeating “Hmmmmmm, I see. Dis is good. Bely good. Bely bely good. Hmm”. I think that I’m mentally scarred for life.

Yesterday night was quite peaceful, I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol as I’m respecting Missis Baekseju’s wish. Drinking is only allowed during week-ends. We ordered pizza for dinner, as we were too lazy to cook. We like Pizza Etang’s Super Supreme (you have to pronounce Shoopah Shoopleem Peedja or they don’t understand), that we drown in Tabasco. We watched an episode of Cold Case, had a Pistachio Ice cream cone, and headed to bed, where we spoke about our monster trip back to the Old Country. We decided to travel Business Class from Hochiminh to the Old Country. Super fancy, isn’t it? I’ve never traveled Business Class. After that, I read a little bit. I’m reading “Cassandra’s mirror” from Bernard Werber. He’s quite famous, here, in Korea. I really need to find the Korean title,

This morning we woke up super early, since we had to go for the FULL check-up in the capital. And you know the following…

By the way, I’d like to introduce you to a woman K-Blogger, which I particularly appreciate. Her name is Ms. Superfantabulous. I’ve been following her posts since a couple of months, so you were able to find her in blog-roll located on the right site of this diary. Her husband, Mister Awesomecool, is also a K-blogger, and he is apparently nagging at her for having more readers than her. Show him wrong, and take a look at http://exiteugene.blogspot.com . I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, and you’ll permit her to be able to do her dance of happy superiority.

Also, check out my friend Flint’s article about the “cultural tips” in Korea. Great laughs.

See you later alligators,

Moon’s day - 월요일 – Monday

2010-02-01T17:32:00.004+09:00

Today is Moon’s day. Moon’s day is usually a synonym of week-end’s death. In the Old Country, when someone asks us “How are you today?” and that we are in a bad gloomy mood, we usually answer: “Like a Monday”. This explains it all.

Last week-end I’ve been behaving and I didn’t drink too much. I didn’t even drink liquor at all, except some baekseju at the restaurant. But baekseju is only 13% of alcohol, which is barely twice the ABV of a beer. I’m trying to respect my wife’s wish as fully as possible, and she does appreciate it.

Yesterday, afternoon, after I finished brewing the monster beer, I watched “The Hangover”. I had good laughs. I think that my favorite part was the end-credit, when they displayed the pictures of the night. It truly looked like when we celebrated my 21st birthday back in the US. Except that we drove to Illinois, not to Nevada.

This week is going to be a little rough, as it’s the end of the month. It implies more hard work at the company, a tough end of the month financially speaking, and the wife’s PMS. I don’t know if you have any idea what it is to be a Korean woman’s husband one week every month. It’s like they get possessed by some higher wrath-demon’s spirit, all which is completed with a major LaTourette syndrome. I’m only slightly exaggerating.

We’ve got no plan for week-end, and it’s a good thing. I’m looking forward a major rest with the Missis, maybe go for a walk in the small forest behind our house. I’m pretty disappointed that we won’t get to see Spring fully coming back before we leave, as I was looking forward a fishing Sunday with one of my friends. I’m a sit-drink-and-chat kinda fisherman. I’m looking for a sole big fat fish, rather than 10 middle-size fishes. We’re usually going to fish with my best friend, Gnome (his nickname), and spend the whole early-morning to lunch time there, expecting for carps, breams and other big fishes. In the old country, black-bullheads (cat-fish?) are called “Poison-Shit” as they’re infesting our lakes and pounds.

Our Holy Grail is to catch a big pike. Pikes reach their population peak around May-June. Pikes, nicknamed “Lakes-Sharks” are fierce hunters, and don’t have any predator other than fishermen (and super huge 7 feet long bullheads). They eat fishes, other pikes, frogs and even fucking birds or other small mammals. They are extremely clever and very careful fishes. We usually keep one of the other big-fishes (never caught a pike, yet), as they’re closer to the end of their lives when they reach that size. The real reason is that line-fish-fillets on the pan with some béchamel, and rice in sauce, are just fucking awesome for dinner (I could post my grandma’s pike recipe when I’m back in the Old Country, but that’d cost you one of your family recipes).

Well, on that fishing note, it’s time for me to go.

See you later alligators,

Sun's day - 일요일 - Sunday

2010-01-31T16:35:00.003+09:00

Today is Sunday, and it's our lazy day.

Friday night, I went to Emart, scouting for cheap european brandy and ginger ale. I changed my plans when I found out that my Emart doesn't sell ginger ale anymore. I was frustrated. But right next from it, there was a whole shelf of discounted Oettinger Weissbier. It's not a great beer, but it's quite good compared to the local shit. I bought 15 cans for 1650won a can, it's a good deal. I had a couple of them, and we had roast chicken for dinner. There's a chicken truck on Main Street a few blocks away. I love that chicken, it's super tasty. I dip it in salt. My wife deeps it in honey mustard. We watched a couple of episodes of Cold Case and spent a couple of hours talking in the bed, hugging and stuffs.

On Saturday, I woke up late, and had a huge bowl of chocolate milk (I like the Nesquik powder)

with coco-balls (I like Emart's unbranded ones). I had so much that it was a full brunch. After lunch, we had our weekly poker game at my friend's place (Texas hold'em, 5.000won buy-in, chips, blinds raises every 20 minutes, no gain-splitting). I was hungry so I ordered some McDonald's. I think the meat had turned bad, coz it made me super sick that night. I didn't win the game, but managed well. After the game, we went for the meat buffet with my wife and a couple of American friends whom just got married. We had a lot of meat. I like the super thin sliced pork. We shared two bottles of baekseju, and went back to my place to have a last drink. It was cool.

Later that night, early this morning, I got super sick and tried to vomit without success. I'll skip the details, but I think that lunch's McDonald's had turned bad. Everything got better a bit later. I had Galbi Tang for brunch, watching that stupid movie "Don't be a menace to South Central". I love Galbi Tang, especially the bouillon. I brewed an attempt to the world's strongest beer this afternoon. I basically brewed a high gravity Barley Wine (16~17%ABV), that will take at least 2 to 3 weeks to ferment. After that, I'm going to put in the freezer for a week or so. I'm going to scoop the ice, keeping the beer. It will boost the alcohol content way up. I brewed a 2,5L batch. I'm expecting to get 1.3L from it after the freezing process. I'm going to heavily dry hop it, and then bottle it. There should be about four 33cl bottles. This is an experiment. I've made a label for them.

I'm right now sipping on a can of Oettinger listening to Deezer's rap radio, and surfing around.

See you later alligators,

Wood’s Day – 목요일 – Thursday

2010-01-28T11:07:00.000+09:00

Today is Wood’s Day, yet I don’t seem to be able to find any useless comparison to do this morning. The last couple of days have been pretty quiet, despite my posts about my alcohol whereabouts.

Every night is pretty much the same routine lately: reading blogs, answering posts on my favorite messageboards/forums (only two of them), playing PokerTH, drinking water and eating snacks while waiting for Missis Baekseju to come back from work. We then have dinner while watching a couple of episodes of Cold Case, then we speak about our day, plans and other stuffs while eating an pistachio ice-cream cone, our butts warmed by the ondol. Communication is super important in a couple. And then we go to bed.

I’ve been refusing invitations for nights out a lot lately. I decided to behave and not hang out during week-days anymore. I’m limiting myself to week-ends. Starting from Friday night until Sunday night, I’ll seize my relaxing time in accordance with the Lady’s plans. That makes me think that I’ll soon have to keg the Düsseldorf Altbier.

On Saturday night, we’re going for dinner with my wife and a couple of American friends whom got married a couple of months ago. We’ll have “Meet-Beeffett” (Konglish mistake trademarked by that restaurant). It’s basically an all you can eat restaurant. You’ve got your Samgyeopsal kinda grill, and you go for meat refills whenever you feel like it. I like the super thin sliced pork there. I usually enjoy it with a couple of bottles of Baekseju shared with another of my friends.

On Sunday, I’m planning on doing nothing. I mean, absolutely nothing. Just relax with my soul-mate at home, maybe go out to do the errands, watch a few movies… and drink quite a bit. Well, I'll probably could some food from the Old Country for the Lady. I’m wondering what will be the drink of predilection during this week-end. I’m hesitating between: A couple of good foreign beers followed by pitchers of Hite, or Red wine or Whiskey&Ginger-Ale. I’ll let my readers give me advices. I can’t have homebrews, as I need to wait a week more before the Düsseldorf Altbier is ready to drink.

Today is another stressful day of work, and my colleague in that South-East Asian branch of ours, is turning me completely mad. She’s as reactive as a vegetable and as fast as a snail. It’s causing me lots of troubles at work.

Aw well, D-65. Fuck it.

See you later Alligators,

Let’s make this straight.

2010-01-27T10:55:00.001+09:00

Good morning sunshines.

Now, what I’m going to tell you is very intimate.

I’m of course not an alcoholic at all, no matter what I wrote in the previous article. It was of course populated by lots of sarcasms. Well, I am an alcohol-ic in a way, but not more than any other drinking individual on this planet. I enjoy drinking, but I’m not drinking to forget my life or any other similar pitiful reason. I drink for the pleasure generated by the taste of the product, and of course the tipsy effects resulting from its consumption.

Alcohol is a social and culinary thing in the Old Country. It’s absolutely not like if you were a frustrated alcoholic drinking on your kitchen table directly off the bottle like in the movies. Now, I used to be a real addict a very long time ago, and I know what it is to crave for something (nothing chemical, mind you) in order to try to forget things and to try to put away your pain and sorrows. I drowned so low that I could only go back up and never do the same mistake again. If my Dad had quit shaking me up, making me feel like shit everyday, I’d still be sitting on my couch, lethargic.

The only thing that made me clean up was to show that I could do better than him. I wanted to show him how stupid he was to think that I was a loser. Later on, I realized that it’s actually what he wanted me to do: Be better than him. I’ve been telling you that my Dad is my hero, but it hasn’t always been pink and sunny with him. We’ve been in a very bad period together, we’ve almost got into a fight, and we’ve been through shitty times. I’ve even left home one day and came back several days later (I was at my grandma’s, hahaha). I even continued to work for him every week-end and continued to do the hardest jobs available, even though I wasn’t talking to him. I think that it also showed him that I’m a man of principles.

At the end of this shitty year and a half, I had cleaned up without noticing it; I was no longer an addict. It just opened my eyes how my Dad just wanted my happiness, wanted me to do things, open to the world, build a family, travel and see around. If I didn’t quit that shit, I’d be a loser, sitting on my couch, living off welfare and I’d be doing nothing. When I look back, I wouldn’t trade for any other life, what I’ve experienced during the last 10 years of my life. So, the fact that the Gorilla is my hero is even stronger, considering the shit we’ve been through.

My alcohol consumption has absolutely nothing to deal with the scheme I’ve been in a long time ago. Having been through the shit I’ve talked about, I’d never fall into the same trap again with any other substance. I’ve been in deep pain, and the solution wasn’t to get useless wasted to fix this pain. The solution is to face this pain, and deal with it. That’s what differentiates Men from twats: The ability to deal with shit.

I enjoy drinking and won’t turn myself into a monk. As for what I once abused; I still enjoy it once in a while in small amounts. It’s all about moderation. It’s like ex-cigarette smokers whom completely forbid themselves to be in contact or even smoke a cigarette from time to time. My take is that those people are weak ticking-time-bombs, and that they will fall again in their addiction, instead of taming it. If you can enjoy something you’ve been addicted to from time to time and not fall in the old trap, you’ll never be an addict again. That said, I’m going to follow what I’ve said, and limit myself to Friday nights, Saturday nights and Sundays. The Missis’ wish has to be respected.

Plus, my cholesterol is nagging at me. (112,2 of LDL.)

See you later alligators,

Hello, my name is Mister Baekseju, and I probably am an alcoholic.

2010-01-26T14:45:00.003+09:00

Today, I've got a comment from an anonymous reader (see previous article).

When I see “anonymous” in my comments, I usually prepare myself to read stupid unrelated shit or even spam, but today was different. For once, my anonymous reader wasn’t one of those rats, but he actually was an intelligent and really polite individual.

Here was his comment:

I enjoy your blog and wish you well. This explains your problem. You are an alcoholic. I know you don't think you are but... http://www.ehow.com/about_5467915_alcohol-excessive-night-sweating.html

First, thank you very much for the kind words about the Blog, Anonymous. I actually think that you’re a hundred percent right. I’m not the kind of guy to not face the obvious about himself. I think that I indeed am an alcoholic. Now, I’m not saying that I’m the kind of guy to drink alcohol for breakfast, or to empty a bottle of scotch in one day.

While speaking about my alcoholic uncle (no blood in common) with my family’s doctor, he told me (the doctor) that alcoholics aren’t necessarily these kinds of drinkers; but rather normal dudes like me, whom have that habit to drink two or three drinks at night, after a stressful day. We just become addicted to that release of stress that we get through alcohol. Some get their release through sports, some through videogames, some through TV/movies, food, arts, herb, etc… well you get the drift. I think that lately, mine has been alcohol. I like those drinking nights out with friends once a week. I’m a social drinker, but I’m also a lover of good alcohols. When I’m home, I like to fix myself a tasty aperitif with quality shit, or to pour myself a couple of pints of hard earned homebrews. I like the good stuffs.

Now, I think I have to fix myself limits, and find another stress release. A healthier one than drinking. We’re going back to alcohol, but I like to brew beer. Brewing beer is fantastic. You get to taste, share, enjoy and even get tipsy on the product of your efforts. You get to get back to your roots, to how it was done in the old days. You get to learn about chemistry, biology, history, life and so many other things that you would never suspect. You get to grow things, make things by yourself. It’s a whole different dimension than buying a six pack from the shelf. Making your own is so gratifying. I won't drop that.

In the Old Country, my stress release used to be Martial Arts. I've practiced 5 different of Martial Arts from 5 years old to 19 years old, with only a 3 years break. I dropped when I left the Old Country a long while ago. I was craving for my 3 hours of martial arts 2 times a week and my adrenaline fix. The last one I practiced was Karate. I used to be a Wado Ryu pupil. It's an uncommon Karate style, but it's just great. I learned a lot about myself with that sport/philosophy. It teaches very healthy principles and good skills to its pupils. It doesn't only work on your cardio, your muscles, your fighting skills or your endurance. But it also works on your mental and gets you to meet great people amongst your Karate team. I will actually go back to my ex Karate club/team when we go back to the Old Country. This, or Taekwondo. Either will keep me away from the drinks.

Now, something that impresses me is that I get those alcoholic symptoms, but that I’m only drinking 2 to 3 drinks a night, and sometimes I don’t drink any alcohol at all for much longer than two days. I’ve never sweated like that, except when I had a fever or indigestion due to doubtful Korean fried chicken. Now, I’m absolutely aware that I’m a kind of alcoholic, but why didn’t it happen in previous similar alcohol-breaks? Is my body finally pushing the alarm button just now?

Well, something is sure, I’ll stop drinking for a good while on a day-to-day basis, and I’ll see how I feel, and how I get. I of course won’t turn into a monk, and I’ll seize my beer-drinking Sundays, or our Saturday night dinners. But drinking on a regular basis during week nights is officially over for a little while.

Time for change.

Mister/Mrs. Anonymous, thanks a lot for you comment. And I mean it.

See you later alligators,

Fire’s Day - 화요일 – Tuesday

2010-01-26T12:00:00.002+09:00

Today is Fire’s day, yet my toes are frozen. It’s slowly beginning to get warmer. We went from a -15c average to a -5c average. Sometimes, we’re actually getting +1 or +2 during the day, and it feels like spring compared to North Pole temps we had since mid-December (-24c was the record in my city).

Enough speaking about the weather, we aren’t grandmas chatting at the butcher shop. Today I’m in a good mood, for no specific reason. Last night it was a little bit stressful at work, but I managed. I’m pretty good at handling stressful situations. Yesterday night, I really could have used a drink when I came back home, but I had a tall glass of water. I’m respecting Missus Baekseju’s request, and I’m not drinking as much as I used to do. But I’m allowed to sip on ONE drink after dinner, though. It makes it even more tasty and precious. The Missus treats me so well that I comply with her requests. I’ve got a super great wife, so I need to be equally of a super great husband.

So I read blogs, had my weekly fix of junkfood (big mac and cheeseburger), listened to Wendy Rene and other stax singers, played Sauerbraten (a free FPS game available on Linux), played some Poker online and wandered the net. We had our time together with the Missus, and went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night sweating like a dying horse. I’ve literally sweated liters. I don’t know why, but I woke up in a great condition. I guess that I evacuated tons of bad toxins. I had a light breakfast, read your blogs, checked my favorite message-boards, took a shower and headed to work.

This morning I surprised myself to be a bit upset when I've seen the word "Chinese new year" from one of our suppliers. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with China? It's the LUNAR new year, the ASIAN cabbage, the ASIAN parsley, etc... Fucking pricks. And while I'm at it, my Jap readers, it's the East Sea, and not the Sea of Japan ! Upon international laws, no country can name a sea or an ocean after its own country's name, since Seas and Oceans are international territories.

Here I am, now writing from my lunch break and stuffing my mouth with Tongkass (cordon-bleu) cooked and fried by my wife. Rocks.

See you later alligators,

Moon’s day – 월요일 – Monday

2010-01-25T11:55:00.000+09:00

Today is Moon’s day. And I actually think that I’ll be able to see the moon tonight. Considering the usual amount smog covering this province’s skies, it seems that today is unusually clear.

Yesterday was a quiet day. After coming back home from “Avatar” in 3D, we pretty much relaxed all day. My mind was stuck in Avatar’s world the whole afternoon. This movie was amazing. The message behind it really touched me. I’m not one of those fucking hippies, but I know that the only thing that’ll save us and our planet, is going back to our roots, and/or to stop using non-renewable energies. I know that it’ll happen one day, but that only our great-great-great-great grandkids will be able to witness it.

During the afternoon, I watched “O’ Brother, where art thou?”, hoping to get Avatar out of my mind. It worked pretty well. O’ brother was a great movie, and I really enjoyed it. It took me a few minutes to get common again with the hillbilly accent, but it came back quite fast. (I’ve lived in the Midwest). For dinner I had a bowl of bokkombap (Fried rice with kimchi and vegetables) and after then a big bowl of black tea.

Yesterday night, we spoke quite a lot with my wife. Two days ago, we got in an argument regarding stuffs I could barely handle anymore in Korea. Racism and national pride, Korean mentality (Confucianism, Korean social ladder), wicked crazy stress at work, poor and totally under-qualified health-care system, high housing costs, and other stuffs contribute to make my (our) life a little bit more difficult everyday. As a Korean citizen by birth, she of course strongly reacted against my concerns/complaints and defended her country the most she could. It’s normal. I’d do the same in the opposite situation.

Yesterday night, she avowed me that all the bad sides of Korea which were weighing heavy on me, were even much heavier for her. She avowed me that since she’s seen how people live in the Old Country, their mentality, the social relationships, the working style, the medical systems, the absence of racism, the green in every city, all that a few years back, she began to notice all the weak points of Korea. During those years we’ve been living here, this feeling grew stronger and stronger each time she noticed K-Bullshit, and she’s right now in a phase where she can’t handle her own country’s weak points anymore. She tried to convince me to pull down the date we would depart Korea, and to live in early March. I refused, since we need my next three wages, and that I need time for my father’s network to mature the idea of hiring me or finding me contacts. So we’ll stick the original plan of leaving on April 6th. She agreed that it was smarter, followed by a long “sigh”.

It’s interesting to see that when we both settled in Korea (we used to live in another Asian country) a few years back, she wanted to settle down here for good. She didn’t want that much to live in my Old Country, as she had her Korean pride (she’d follow me anywhere, though). Fair enough, I wasn’t very much keen on the Old Country either. Now, we’re in the opposite situation. I think that our adventure in Korea permitted my wife to realize that Korea wasn’t the place for her to live, and it permitted me to realize that the Old Country isn’t that bad after all. We’re now looking forward the next chapter, and I think that it’s a perfect timing, perfect state of mind, and that the conditions of our immigration are perfect. I’d sincerely never have thought that I’d say that about going back to the Old Country.

This week, I’ll try to calm down on drinking, and I won’t go out. Mrs. Baekseju asked me to do that for her, so I’ll do it. I’ll watch movies, sipping on black tea, limit myself to one and only heavily served White Cuban, and I’ll refuse invitations to go out. Let it be said and sealed. I’ll probably have less stories to tell, though.

See you later alligators,

Sun's day - 일요일 - Sunday

2010-01-24T09:30:00.002+09:00

Today is Sun day. Again, I can't see much sun around.

Yesterday was a cool day. We relaxed at home, and I played poker on the net with a couple of friends. We play on PokerTH, and there isn't any money involved. After a few games, we decided to meet at one of these two friends for a real game. I picked a bottle of Chilean wine, and a pitcher of Hite on my way.

We played chips, texas-hold'em, and 5.000won buy-in (3 bucks), non expendable, no gain split. In a word, we played for nothing, but just a little bit to make it interesting. It was a fun game. I was the second one to die. And the remaining finished the game in about 10 minutes. Both are very impulsive and aggressive players. They haven't been playing Poker for long, so they take dumb risks and have a tendency to raise with shitty hands, and be confident bluffers. It seems like during the few last rounds, they began to understand why it wasn't a good tactic. We had fun.

After then, we went to the capital to have Turkish food. I had a Kebab pita. I love Kebab pitas. It was heavenly. We had a couple of Dunkelweissen microbrews right next, and we came back home. I woke up early due to an upset stomach. I guess that my stomach isn't common with Turkish food anymore. I used to eat Turkish at least twice a week back in the Old Country. I'll have to work on that.

I read emails, read blogs, checked facebook and forums, and had a very light breakfast. Now we're just back from the theater, and we watched Avatar in 3D. This movie was brilliant. I won't say anything about it, since I don't wanna spoil it for you. I'm still stuck on Pandora, though.

I'm going to be insanely busy during the next few weeks. I have to take care of visas, retirement pension transfers, taxes, shipping companies, papers and so much more stuffs that make moving to another country difficult. I won't be posting as often as I used to.

See you later alligators,

Gold’s Day – 금요일 – Friday

2010-01-22T11:15:00.005+09:00

Today is Gold’s day. My take is the Koreans named Fridays “Gold’s Day” because they enjoyed waking up on Friday, knowing that it was the last working day of the week. Truth is, I enjoy waking up on Friday, knowing that it is the last working day of the week. It’s like I’m falling into lethargy from Monday morning to Thursday night, and all through Friday, I’m slowing waking up until I finally bloom at 6pm.

Yesterday night, I walked back home with my neighbor and friend. He goes to the gym in the same building than my company. When I arrived home, I popped open a bottle of red wine. The Quicky-mart had no European wine left, so I had to buy some Californian stuff. Californian red wines are much too sweet for my taste buds. Dare I say, sugary? I like my wines full of flavors, thick, clean on the palate, and strong. The exact opposite of Californian wines. Sorry for my American friends, I’m not spitting on your local vineyards, it’s just not the kind of wine that I enjoy. Well, that far from home, the Californian wine did the trick. My wife had half of a cup of it, and I had the whole bottle. It went incredibly fast, and I didn’t even notice it. Another reason why I prefer strong wines, is that you know when to stop. Watery wines just go down easily. I think that wine bottles here are smaller than in the Old Country.

For dinner my wife fixed me some quick Bokkombap (fried rice with kimchi, eggs, vegetables, whatever else is in the fridge). I love my wife’s bokkombap. Just thinking of it makes my mouth salivate. My friends called me for a beer at our local pub. I had a couple of Red Dog. Red Dog is an American beer, and it tastes “less bad” than Budweiser, Coors and Miller. In clear, it’s a cheap beer, it doesn’t taste good, but it isn’t as horrible as the Korean shits and the American piss. Let’s say that, in Korea, it’s a good value for money. Sometimes I realize that since I began homebrewing, I became such a beer snob. We played darts with my friends, and I lost every round. I don’t know what happened to my mojo, but I used to always be 2nd or 1st at dart games with those friends. It’s been since I’m back from the old country that I’m continuously losing.

I ordered a third Red Dog, and at that precise moment, my friends decided to all go to Booze street, 10mn away. I refused to join, since I knew that Booze Street meant “back at home completely useless wasted at 5am, plus heavy hangover on your desk at work 4 hours later”. They left, and I finished my beer on the bar. Two fresh-off-the-boat Canadian ladies were next to me and we started to chat and play cards. We played “Asshole”. We’ve got the same game in the Old Country, so they didn’t need to explain me the rules. They were cool girls.

I came back home at midnight and a few, quite tipsy. I sat on the computer, and read blogs. I read Scott’s blog, and I’m pumped that he’s going to write more often. For those of you who don’t know Scott, he’s a cool American guy, and he heirs from the Midwest. I used to live a few miles south from his hometown, but on Missouri side. I’ve been to his state, twice. But just outside of O’Hare International Airport, to smoke a cigarette or two during flight transfers. So, I actually haven’t really really been to his state, since my only visits were cigarette breaks front of the taxi line. But I’m definitely sure that it’s a cool place. So, anyway, Scott is a really cool dude, such a cool dude that he owns one of the highest rewards of all times: “The Holy Teddy Bear”. And as you all know well, this holy reward is not handed over easily. If you haven’t visited my friend’s blog, go, run, or fly to the following address: http://hexagonsun.wordpress.com/

This morning I woke up a few minutes later than usual. I run a tight schedule on mornings. See, I’m not one of those crazy fucks who wake up 2 to 3 hours before to leave their home. I go by the principle that a human should grab and embrace every bit of night sleep he has at reach. I do put my alarm clock 2 hours before, but with a snooze every 20 minutes. It’s for my brain to wake up quietly. Waking up a few minutes late would have been totally fine if everything went as usual, but this morning my computer didn’t function well. I couldn’t see anything on my screen. Since I’m a social things junky, I needed my emails/facebook/blogger morning fix. I spent 20 minutes fixing the fucking computer. It turned out that it was the HDMI cord which was fucked up, so I now run in VGA. There’s barely any difference to my (very high) eyesight. I begin to think that those top notch graphic cards, HDMI and other technologies I'm buying are just sales bullshit. When the computer finally worked correctly, I had to run to the shower. I barely had time to use the computer, so I left home a little bit pissed off. But at least, I wasn’t late.

Tonight, I’m going to have a quiet night at home. I’m in the mood for movies with the Missus, some Galbi-Ttang (pork vertebras bouillon), a pistachio icecream and a fat-ass mug of high quality whole leaves Black-tea that I brought back from the Old Country. I’ll try to not have a pint of homebrew, since my keg is almost empty. I’m saving sparely every drop that is left on the keg, because I need to wait at least two more weeks before the Düsseldorf Altbier is ready to keg. It should be ready by Friday 5th of February. It’s joyfully fermenting right now, and the fermentation lock is bubbling. At the end of the fermentation, I’ll put the fermenter on the balcony, so the cold will help the remaining yeast particles and hops particles to completely settle down. The beer should then be much clearer.

It’s just an idea, but I might just brew another beer with all the leftovers of hops I have in my freezer, and the remaining specialty malts that is on the top of my fridge. I may just order some malt if I have some money left from my meager allowance of this month. I’d brew something super hoppy and really bitter. I’d probably brew a strong black beer with shitloads of hops. But I don’t think that I will brew another batch in Korea. Let’s see what happens. If I don’t brew it in Korea, I’ll brew it in the Old Country.

But my first batch in the Old Country will be a Barley Wine. I’m working on a bad-ass recipe. I’m basically using the malt base of an English Barley Wine, adapted to my tastes, and the hop chart of an American Barley Wine, adapted to the hops available in the Old Country and of course, my tastes. I want that beer to be perfect (for the style), so I’m spending a lot of efforts to cover all aspects of the brewing process and recipe and making sure of the relevance of the equivalences. I’m working on the water profile, the fermentation temps, counter-flow chilling, the yeast pitching quantity and starters, dry-hoping specifications, aging temperatures and length, bottle type, carbonation, and so many other things that I usually never give a shit about. As I said in the previous article, it’s very easy to make good beer with no effort, but in order to make a perfect beer, you need to care and learn about so many parameters and work on it. I love that.

Tomorrow night we’re going to Kangnam, to meet my ex-classmates from back when I was studying Korean at the biggest Korean Hagwon in Seoul, on Saturday mornings. I dropped after 6 or 8 months, since I was learning more Korean from my wife than from our teacher. Why continuing to waste a 150 bucks a month in those lessons, then? I really like my ex-classmates. One of them is the son of two Mormons from the Redneck country, and complains all the time about their religion choice, one is a pale Mexican born American from New York, one is a very sweet single Japanese lady who teaches at a Japanese grade school in Seoul. Plus their Korean wives, too, whom are very nice.

On Sunday we're going to watch Avatar in 3D, due to the pressure of my social circle. I'm fed up to hear "Ooooh Avatar in 3D is so awesome, the story is great and blabalblabla". So, I bit the bait and decided to go and see the movie. We'll see.

I think I'm going to brew a small batch of 17% ABV beer (엿기름), for my 32% beer experiment tomorrow morning. I'll buy cheap Korean malted barley (which sucks for brewing) and see how it turns out.

See you later alligators,

Brewing beer in Korea

2010-01-21T10:43:00.004+09:00

It’s been quite a few times that I’ve been told by my long time readers that they’d love to brew their own in Korea. I’m sure that they already thought about it but gave up like castrated pussies when it became technical. Who can blame them?

So the goal of this article is to make brewing in Korea, possible and accessible to you all, my virtual friends. All the doubtful syntaxes, grammar mistakes, misspellings and strange expressions, are copyrighted by my European ass, and forbidden to be copied-pasted without my acceptance and/or a link on your blog. May that be clear.

For the starters, I want you to know that I won’t break your balls with history facts, complicated chemistry and other useless shit. The goal is to make better beer than the ones available in Korea, in your Korean kitchen. One historical fact to keep in mind, though: if the Egyptians and my Celts ancestors could brew drinkable beer thousands of years B.C., with only their dicks and their knives, you surely can do better with the few available stuff you have in your kitchens, anywhere in the world.

I’m not pretending to know what I’m doing nor to be spreading the holy word, but so far, my brews have been drinkable and my homebrewing style worked for me and my friends. It's a very basic "Homebrewing 101", and you'll of course need much more reading to understand what you're doing. This article is meant to make you understand the overall process of brewing.

Three choices are available to the basic homebrewers: “Liquid Malt Kits”, “Partial Mash (Dry malt extracts + specialty grain) and All-grain brewing. I will only fully cover the third one, as I’m not experienced in the second one; and that the first one doesn’t grant you the right to pretend to be a homebrewer. It’s like pretending to be a chef when you cooked a “ready to microwave” kinda dish.

The first type, involves a can of already hopped and bitter-ed LME (Liquid Malt Extract), a hermetic bucket, water and a ready to pitch sachet of yeast. Total length of the “brewing process”: 15mn. You basically open the can, mix the concentrate with water, pour the yeast, close the bucket and wait 2 weeks before you bottle. Miserable. You can’t call that brewing, but it’s a good first step in the world of brewing, in order to understand fermentation’s basics. That was my first batch, though. I started brewing all-grain from the second batch.

The second type, is a good compromise between a quick brewing process and an all-grain batch. For those of you, on the cheap, who don’t want to invest even a minimal amount of money in a couple of brew-stuff things, it’s the perfect brewing process. You basically use DME (Dried malt extract) as the malt base, and only a minor part of crushed grain as the specialty malt. As I said, I’ve only brewed all-grain, so I won’t be able to cover this category. IMHO, Most partial-mash carry the same similar “taste” which I’m not a big fan of.

Let’s speak about the third way of brewing.

How to brew All-grain beer at home

0-A. The stuff:

To brew all grain, you don’t need much stuff. You’ll need:
- 1 Brew-pot (regular fat-ass 40L marmite) [~40.000won]
- 1 cooler (big camping cooler from Emart 70L) [~60.000won?]
- 1 five gallons (25L) fermenter (food-grade from Korean homebrew supplies online store with its fermentation lock and such) [max 40.000won]

There’s a big debate among homebrewers going on since decades, about whether or not aluminum pots imparts off-tastes or damages the beer. This has never been proven, so I wouldn’t give a shit about that if I were you. A good half of the homebrewing community uses it with zero problems. Use aluminum if you wish, it’s no problem and it’s much cheaper than Stainless Steel. You’ll find your happiness for cheap, in any kitchenware market in Seoul or in a city nearby yours. To justify the expense, tell your wife/fiancée, that she’ll be able to use it for cooking, or whatever else she wants to hear.

You’ll find your cooler at E-Mart of Homeplus a couple of months before summer with good discounts. I used those Sinsaegae coupons my company gave me for Chuseok to buy mine. Plan 60.000won to 80.000won for a good 50~70L one. Make sure it has a “water exit” on the bottom. I tried Gmarket, navershop and other online stores but couldn’t find the one I wanted for a decent price. To justify the expense, say that you’ll be able to go on romantic camping trips with her during spring, summer and early autumn. (Don’t tell her that it’ll keep the beers cold while having a poker night with the mates. It doesn’t work well, I tried).

The perfect fermenter is the one from beerschool.co.kr. Tell the owner that you’re from “homebrewkorea.com” and get a -10% discount if you order by email and wire the money to his bank account. You, of course, have to join our community of foreign homebrewers in Korea at http://www.homebrewkorea.com/forums . It’s free, and everyone will do its best to help you getting started and to answer your questions. The fermenter at beerschool has a plastic tap on the bottom, which can be particularly convenient to bottle your beer after the fermentation. This is just my own opinion.

You’ll need odds and ends, like a laundry-machine shoebag, 1500won from emart (or one woman’s stocking, the ones you buy for 1000won at the convenient store) to use as a hop bag in your brewpot. You’ll need a hydrometer and a thermometer, and both can be found for pennies on the homebrew online stores. You’ll need sanitizer. I use regular oxiclean in order to clean my stuff (the one your wife uses), and iodine to sanitize (can be found for 8000won for a huge bottle at the pharmacy. This will last you a lifetime).

You’ll also need empty beer bottles to bottle your batch after fermentation. Just drink one bottle of Hite (64cl) every day for a month, and by the end of the month, you’ll have your 30 bottles, which is enough to bottle a 20L batch. Just clean the bottles well after you drank them, with oxiclean, and sanitize them prior to bottle.

0/B. The ingredients

Once you gathered all the stuffs with the meager allowance your wife/fiancée gives you every month, it’s time to care about the ingredients.

You’ll first need to come up with a recipe. Well before that, you’ll need to figure out what you want to drink in the end. Let’s pretend you’re a stout aficionado. You’ll search google, beertools.com, homebrewtalk.com in order to find a highly rated all-grain stout recipe. Once it’s done, post it on our forums (http://www.homebrewkorea.com/forums) and get it analyzed/corrected by one of our senior members, whom will adapt it to the limited ingredients we have here, in Korea. You’ll need different kinds of malts in different quantities, different kinds of hops in different quantities, and some strain of yeast. Let’s say you’re lucky and found a highly rated and reviewed stout recipe, and that all the malts and hops are available in Korea. I’m going to give you mine, coz I’m a nice guy and that we know each other virtually since a while, now. Keep it a secret.

Mister Baekseju’s stout recipe
20 liters batch
Based on 68% efficiency

Malts:
Pilsner Malt: 4kgs
Flaked Oat: 0.4kg (optional)
Caramunich: 0.3kg
Carahell: 0.3kg
Carafa: 0.5kg

Mash the grain at 65 degrees Celsius.

Hops: Hallertauer (8%AA): 1.2 ounces for @90mn (meaning boiling during 90 minutes)

Yeast: Irish Ale Yeast So, a recipe will usually come like that. The Grain bill, the hops schedules, the yeast strain to use and the mashing temp. The brewing process requires three simple steps.

First step: Extracting the maltose from the grain (Mashing)
Second step: Boiling the wort extracted from the grain and bittering/flavoring it (Boil)
Third step: Fermenting that wort to transform the maltose into alcohol (Fermentation)

Get into your heads that brewing doesn’t require much efforts, but it takes time. I usually brew on lazy Sundays. You’ll basically be watching movies while keeping an eye on what’s happening during the mash and the boil, and waiting for your alarms to ring. The biggest pain in the ass is cleaning and sanitizing your stuffs before and after.

1. The Mash

As said before, the mash step is in order to extract the fermentable sugars (maltose and all those stuffs) present in the malt. These fermentables will be transformed into alcohol at the end of the brewing process. Basically, in order to extract those fermentables, you need to let the grain soak in a “x” amount of water, at a “x” temperature for 90 minutes. The water will then absorb the flavors of the malt and the fermentables. Once done, you’ll drain the water from the grain, and boil what is now, the “wort”.

The Essential: This step is pretty simple, yet crucial. You need to heat your water at that “x” temperature, -in our case 65c- (plus approximately 6 degrees celcius), and pour it on the grain in your cooler. Then, close your cooler, and wait for 90mn. After 90 minutes, collect the wort in your brewpot and leave the grain behind in the cooler. You’re now ready for step 2.

More explanations for you curious readers: The cooler comes here very handy for this part, since you need to keep those mashing temps for a long time and since coolers keep the same temperature for 3 or 4 hours, it avoids you the burden of playing with the stove’s burners for 90 minutes in order to keep that temperature. Of course, there are temperature parameters (your cooler’s original temperature, the temperature of the grain, etc…) If you bought the stuff I advised you too, a rule of thumb is +6 degrees celcius to add to those 65 degrees celcius, so the cooler and grain parameters will bring it down to about 65 degrees. There are softwares calculating that for you (beertools, beersmith, etc…) but +6 degrees works okay. One it’s done, just drain the wort in your brewpot. For that, you’ll need to build some kind of filters on the water evacuation on the bottom of your cooler (post of the forums for advices and tips), so the grain stays in the cooler, and only the wort gets out. You can then, do a “sparge” at higher temperatures which helps to clean all the remaining sugars out from the grain. This is optional but often required to attain higher alcohol contents.

2. The Boil

The Boil is in order to bitter and flavor your wort with hops, and also to kill any wild stuffs present in the wort.

The Essential: Once you’ve got the amount of wort you need, you need to start the boil of your wort. Once it comes to a boil (100c), throw the hops in the hop bags, at the different required moments of the boil (based on your recipe). In this case, add the hops at the beginning of the boil, and set your alarm to 90 minutes later. Launch a movie and lizard on the sofa.

More explanations for you curious readers: The hop schedule is very important. Depending on what moment you add the hops to your boil, the final product will be affected by your choices. Just keep in mind that there are 3 kinds of steps in your hops schedule. The first step is the “bittering hops”, which you add in the beginning of the boil, and that will balance the alcohol and the bitterness of your beer. The second one is the “flavoring hops” which you add around 15 to 30 minutes before the end of the boil, and that will slightly impart their flavor to your final product. The third ones is the “aroma hops” which you add 5 to 0 minutes before the end of the boil, and which will consequently impart their flavor to the final product. In the case of our recipe, we don’t want the hops to impart their tastes to the final beer. Stouts are all about maltiness and bitterness. In the case of an Indian Pale Ale or an English Bitter, though, you’d have needed shitloads of flavoring and aroma hops, since they’re all about hops flavors. Hops come in different AA percentages. Basically, a high AA percentage (acid alpha) means a very bitter hop, and a low one, less bitter hops. High AA percentage hops are good to save money, since you need less of them to bitter your batch. Again, there are many softwares which calculate the hops requirements, equivalences, conversions and proportions for you (beertools, beersmith, …).

3. The Fermentation

Or when the wort becomes beer. The yeast will eat maltose and produce alcohol and Co2.

The Essential: Pour the wort in your fermenter, close the fermentation bucket hermetically with its fermentation lock (filled with a little water), and leave that on your balcony for the night. The cold and clement temperatures during spring, autumn and winter, will bring down the temperature of your wort easily. Once your wort is down to 18 to 25 degrees celcius, pitch your yeast vial (or sachet) in your wort, close the bucket and let the yeast do its thing for 1 to 2 weeks, sometimes more, until the fermentation lock doesn’t bubble away anymore. At the end of that time, bottle your beer with the required amount of sugar (usually 3g of bottling sugar per bottle in order to carbonate the beer), cap it, and wait 1 week more before to drink.

More explanations for you curious readers: Sometimes, the outside temperatures are high, and it’s difficult to chill your wort to pitchable temperatures. Lots of brewers build and use “counter-flow chillers”, which you can read or inquire about on our forums. If you pitch the ale yeast at higher than 25-29 degrees C, the yeast will probably die. If you pitch lower than 14-18 degrees C, the yeast will probably fall asleep and not do its job, until the temperature is a little higher. Lager yeast require very low temperatures, though (13~18 degrees C).

4. Get wasted on your brew

No need for an explanation, but letting age your brew for a couple of weeks and even more is a good thing to do. Unfiltered beer is alive and evolves with time. So if your beer is not that great, let it age more and it might turn into something fantastic in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 weeks or even 4 months later. You’d be amazed to know that some of my brews were total crap when I poured the first pint and that it always turned into something pleasant and sometimes even fantastic (to my own tastes) a month or so later.

There’s one and only one thing to keep in mind in the homebrewing hobby: Relax, don’t worry, have a homebrew ! (by Charlie Papazian). That means everything, just relax, give stuffs times, don’t stress over a bad procedure. As I said, my celtic ancestors and the Egyptians brewed good stuffs with absolutely nothing, they neither had brewing nor chemical knowledge, and no hygiene control. With all the fucking technologies you have available in your kitchen, the books, the internet, the homebrewing forums, you can be sure you’ll make great stuff.

Also, it’s easy to make good beer, but it takes a lifetime to make the most perfect beer. That’s what make this hobby so interesting. It’s so simple, yet you always have room for improvement and to learn and read more about the different steps and aspects of homebrewing. I used to be a total dick in chemistry and biology at school, and never showed interest about it. This hobby just opened my eyes about how super interesting it is. If I had been homebrewing while a teenager, I probably would have pursued and obtained a double PhD in Brewing chemistry and micro-organisms biology by now. No shit.

5. Sources, links and tips.

Stuff that could come very handy:
- Beertools’ software. This thing is declined in 2 versions: Windows and Mac. This will save a considerable amount of time in your calculations, recipes editions, brewing process, and all those stuffs. I bought a life-long cd-key from their website for 15 dollars or so. It’s a must buy. http://www.beertools.com/ Their website contains a large amount of recipes.

I’d advise you to brew one batch first, before to bother reading. You need to dive in and pop your cherry first, so you won’t be anxious and stressed about technical stuffs. Two years ago, when I brewed my first all-grain batch, I really had absolutely no fucking idea what I was doing. If I bothered reading before to jump into all-grain brewing, I’d still be reading right now, and be anxious about every single little step. So just dive in and brew your first batch. Read and listen, after.

Stuff to read:

1. I’d advise you to read John Palmer’s website after your first or second batch. This guy is a great homebrewer and renowned in the business. He knows what he’s doing, he’s written countless books and provides the full content of his book “How to brew” on his website… for free ! This guy is not only talented, he’s also a nice guy who wants homebrewing to expand and to help his fellow newbies. I wouldn’t read it first, as it might scare you away with all its technical words and chemical words. You have to keep in mind that brewing is technical only if you want it to be. For that, I’d advise you to brew a batch first, so you’ll know that you shouldn’t be scared. http://www.howtobrew.com/

2. The complete joy of homebrewing from Charlie Papazian is a cool book to learn about homebrewing. Charlie is the guy who fought for homebrewing to become a legal hobby in the US. He’s the founder of the A.H.A. (American Homebrewing Association) and one of the oldest homebrewer in the business. I prefer John Palmer’s stuff, but it’s just my own opinion. Plus, John Palmer’s is free.

3. Brewing classic styles from Jamil Zainasheff and John Palmer is the perfect book to learn more about designing your recipes. You’ll need a few batches under your belt. You can find their book on whatthebook.com (they deliver in Korea, possible to pay in KRW).

Stuffs to listen to:

Speaking about Jamil Zainasheff and John Palmer, they’re animating podcasts a couple of times a week. One of their shows is “Brew Strong” which is very good to perfect your bases and techniques in the different aspects of homebrewing. I’d stuff that in your MP3 player for the subway/bus rides when you’re going to work. Plus they’re fun and don’t make the podcasts boring. http://thebrewingnetwork.com/shows/Brew-Strong

You can find several other podcasts on the net. One I like is “Taste Buds”, animated by two friends tasting and reviewing commercial beers and microbrews. It may be good for you to follow, so you can truly learn to appreciate a beer and widen your homebrewing vocab.

Where to speak about your new hobby, get help and ask questions:

http://www.homebrewkorea.com/forums This is your first and obliged stop in the world of homebrewing in Korea. The website is animated by Rob, a cool Canadian friend of mine. When I started homebrewing, I asked him numerous questions, and some other homebrewers did too. After a while, he decided to create a message board, so we could keep archives and all help each other. This quickly became a friendly community, which is growing bigger and bigger as the months go by. You’ll find tons of resources and tips to adapt your brewing style to Korea’s environment. When you introduce yourself, mention that you were referred to the forums by a blog article, so I’ll know who you are. Please do not link my blog, as I want to keep my privacy there too.

http://www.homebrewtalk.com/ Nothing much to say, except that it’s the big daddy of all the international homebrewing boards. If homebrewkorea can’t answer your question, someone will be able to do so on homebrewtalk.

Where to buy stuffs in Korea:

http://www.beerschool.co.kr/ our community at Homebrew Korea developed a partnership with Beerschool’s owner, Youngjin, and we were granted a 10% discount for all of our member’s orders. You need to order by email, mentioning that you are a member of Homebrewkorea, and wire the money to his bank-account. You’ll find malts and hops there, even though the product range is laughable compared to homebrew supplies store from back home. You’ll have to do with what they have, which is why you’ll need to ask our helps and tips on homebrewkorea. After all, it’s Korea, and what is not popular in Korea is barely existent.

http://www.goodbeer.co.kr/ Not much stuffs there, but you could find some handy hardware.
http://www.winekit.co.kr/ same as previous.

Well, I hope I didn’t scare you with that article. I tried to make it as simple as I could, so you can understand the basics. I’d recommend reading other simple stuffs on the net before to brew your first batch. Don’t care too much about technical stuffs at first. If you live around the capital, there’ll always be a Homebrew Korea member to help you build or solder stuff for your brewing material (filter for your cooler, a faucet/tap on your brew pot, etc…), to show you how to brew, or even just gathering for a few beers. There a few members too near Busan, Jeollanam-do, Kyeongsannam-do, and other lost areas of Korea.

Now, ask.

Water’s day – 수요일 – Wednesday

2010-01-20T11:55:00.000+09:00

Today is Water’s day, and it makes sense coz it’s raining. Yesterday was a regular day at work. After work, my friend dropped by for a couple of drinks at my place. My wife came back from work and one of her friends from back when they were living in Australia, joined for dinner. We all headed to a restaurant nearby to have “Andong Jimtak”. It’s a spicy steamed chicken meal, with sweet potatoes noodles, whole sliced super spicy red-peppers, and soy sauce. It was super tasty. We all shared a bottle of Baekseju with our meal. It was only a couple of shots per person, so it’s not like I broke my promise about liquor and spirits consumption.

After that, we all headed to our favorite pub, and met another friend there. I had a Samuel Adams Boston Lager followed by a Red Dog, and we played darts. I lost, even though I was winning until the last throw. That happens all the time lately. After then, my wife, her friend and I came back home. I was craving for some more chicken on the way back home, so I bought a roast chicken from the truck-rotisserie on main street. We had some more beers at home chatting cheerfully, while I devoured my bird dipping it in salt. I then had a mug of black-tea, and we went to bed.

This morning I woke up like a flower, without any hint of hangover. Drinking beer is much better for that, than drinking spirits and/or liquor apparently. I had breakfast chatting with her friend, took a shower (I like to hang around naked at my place before to dress, and completely forgot about her friend being here, so she got to see my tattoo and something else), and then I headed to work. I’ve spent my whole morning fixing mistakes from my new coworker who works in the Asian headquarters somewhere in South East Asia. She began less than a month ago and is chaining mistakes and problems. I should give her time, since we all make mistakes for a good 2 sometimes 3 months when we take our functions. But even when I’m pointing out her mistakes, she doesn’t improve it and sometimes ignore it. I feel like I’m doing her job plus mine at the same time, and that she doesn’t give a shit. It’s driving me completely insane.

We’re having lunch with my wife’s friend in a bit, and then I’ll get back to work. When I’ll have some slacking time, I’ll continue to work on that homebrew article. I think that it should be ready by this week-end. I want to take my time and make something very clear, simple and understandable for anyone who hasn’t any knowledge in the field. I’m sure you understand.

Speaking about week-end, we’ll go and see “Avatar” in 3D on Sunday. I’m pretty pumped about it, since all my friends and family keep talking about how great it was and what a revolution it is for the 7th art (cinema). We’ve got something to do on Saturday, but I completely forgot what. I’ll probably remember later this afternoon. Ah, I remember, we’re meeting my classmates from back when I was studying Korean in the Big City. We’ll meet for real Turkish food and tour the microbreweries around.

Anyway, see you later alligators,

The future house in the Old Country

2010-01-19T08:36:00.010+09:00

Good morning youngsters! Yesterday, my little sister crossed the garden and took pictures of my house for me. By house, I didn’t mean the two-room craphole that we’re currently renting in Korea, but I meant the small house that is waiting for us in the Old Country.

I figured that my loyal readers would like to have a tour of Mister and Mrs. Baekseju’s future love-nest. I want to make something clear right now: I will NOT stop this diary when we’ll be living in the Old Country. The Old Country is full of bullshit too, in its own way, and I’m sure that you want to read about the Old Country’s food, learn some recipes, culture, customs, alcohols, bullshit, stupidities, and so on. The only difference will be that I’ll mention the real name of the Old Country, and not hide behind an anonymous virtual pen anymore. Writing about every day’s little problems is a good way to stand back from it, and relativize about it. Plus, apparently, some people like to read my rant, or you guys wouldn’t keep coming back every day to read and comment on my thoughts. I guess that you can rely on the stuff, since you’re for the most, foreign devils living in the “Kingdom of the Great Han (Korean) Ethnicity “ (For those who wonders, this is the literal translation of Korea in Korean a.k.a. 대한민국). But to the difference of most expats here, you’ve got your free thoughts, and allow yourself to think about Korea and its society. Most of other foreigners just duck and keep their heads down, not allowing themselves to have thoughts about Korea.

Speaking about articles, this post is the 50th I wrote since I began this blog. Many things have changed since day 1. At first, it was written in my native language to keep my family updated about what I was doing in that side of the world. Then, I switched to English, in order to get all the bullshit I was thrown at, out of my mind. See, my native language is so complicated, that without accents, it’s a pain in the ass to read. Then, my visits counter exploded, and people began to read that stuff. A couple of weeks later, one of my Korean friends told me that he found out my blog via google and that it was some cool yet harsh insights about his country. This scared me quite a bit, since I just mentioned that I was from the Old Country on that blog, and that I was living in _____ in Korea. I later found out through the embassy that we’re only 5 citizens from the Old Country in that city, 1 of which was retired, 2 were students and 2 working for a JV company. If my Korean friend could blow my cover, so my coworkers could. My anonymity being blown, I decided to never mention my nationality nor the city I was living in anymore. See, I work for a JV, but the whole staff of my company is Korean. And Koreans really don’t like when a foreigner exposes their cultural bullshit. I just couldn’t take the odds.

Well, that said, through these articles, I’ve made good virtual friends. I truly appreciate these guys. I’m thinking about Scott, Flint, KRD, Adam, Man-boy, Col, Asmith, Reprobate… The list is long, despite the short amount of time I’ve been writing this blog.

So, I guess you want that tour I spoke about.

First, when you enter the house, here is what you see (left part of the room). On the left part, that pinkish piece of furniture is to store the bowls, plates, knives, forks and all those stuffs. I booked its right closet for my bottles of alcohol. The central table (and its chairs) is a custom table made by my childhood friend’s father, and is made from precious wood. He’s a cabinet-maker (it’s like an art designer for furniture). When my friend and his parents moved back to their native Italy, they offered this table to my parents that they considered like family. My parents kept it for years, until they moved to their new house last year. They couldn’t resolve themselves to sell it, since it was a sentimental object, and kept it for me. The bricks on the wall behind the table are the base of a future fireplace. My father will begin the construction next month.

The black bookshelf is there temporarily, as the corner of that room will hold an oven, a gas range, a fridge and a dishwasher. This is planned for March, since we need money for it. I’m planning on integrating my kegerator into that kitchen, so it can look slick, and an “all-in-one” kind of thing. I’ve already thought about how to do it. On the first plan, you can see the convertible-sofa, which can be used for guests if they don’t want to take the road after dinner. In one click, the sofa converts into a comfortable bed. Front of the sofa, you can’t see it, but there’s a large fat-ass HD 1080p plasma TV. It’s as thick as a computer screen, though. There’s a whole TV cabinet under it, which will be able to hold the media box I’m working on.

Then, if you turn around there’s a hallway leading to the huge bedroom. The left door leads you to the bathroom. I didn’t put any picture of it, as it’s just a bathroom: shower booth, toilet, sink, mirror, towels heater. A bathroom. You can’t see it on the following two pictures, but the bedroom is very big. My sis just took pictures of the things that were actually populating it.

When you enter the bedroom, you can see a make-up/hair combing kinda station. This is obviously for my wife, as I trim my beard in the bathroom. This used to be a gift from a friend of my dad, to my sister for her 16th birthday. She now has a similar stuff included in her private bathroom at my parents’, so she wanted to keep this one for my wife.

When you turn around, you can see our bed and our bedside-table at the opposite of the room. We need to find a couple of closets. If you continue through the door which is on the right side of the bed, you get to:

The office. It’s where the computer will be, and later on, where Mister or Miss Baekseju junior will sleep. It’s the warmest room of the house, as it has its own heater. The Gorilla obviously wants me to make him heirs, and soon.

Well, that’s it. This is not a palace, and it needs our decoration touch, but there’s a nice environment around it. I’m 15mn far from the capital, yet living in a green and peaceful city. We’ve got a big garden, a vegetables-garden (kitchen-garden?), I’ve got about 10 plants of hops (don’t know if they survived the fierce winter), fruit-trees, a stock of wood for the fireplace, a greenhouse for my hum… “medicinal” herbs, etc… This is much better than a two-room apartment in a crowded city. Plus I don’t need any deposit, nor to pay any rent. And when we want to have dinner with my parents and/or sister, we don’t need to take the car, but just to cross the garden.

A block or two down the street, there are two big food markets (they’re discounters, on top of that), one Mc Donald for my weekly junkfood fix, one –almost- real Chinese restaurant, one Japanese restaurants, and tons of Viet restaurants. Well, there isn’t any Korean restaurant in the Old City, since Koreans generally don’t have enough money/skills to immigrate in the Old Country (Mind you, I absolutely didn’t mean that as an insult to Korean people). The Old Country has fucked up immigration requirements, and usually needs cheap labor for factories which are furthermore required to be fluent in my native language, or the extreme opposite: high qualified PHDs/scientists. But they don’t need any in-between, especially if they aren’t fluent in the Old Country’s language and that they don’t have any relatives in the Old Country. That rules out 99% of the Korean population, since Koreans will never accept to do a job which South East Asians do instead of them in their homeland. As for family related immigration, it’s inexistent, as there is no history of Korean immigration to the Old Country. The only Korean immigrants to the Old Country, are Korean women married to some of my fellow compatriots, or university students. Well, them and quite a lot of depressed Korean top-models over-pressured by their families in the ROK.

Alright, that’s it for the tour. Whether tonight or tomorrow, I’ll speak to you about homebrewing (in Korea).

See you later alligators,

Moon’s day – 월요일 – Monday

2010-01-18T11:53:00.001+09:00

Today is Moon’s day, even though I didn’t see the shape of a moon since we spent the year end in the Old Country. Yesterday was Sun’s day and I didn’t see the Sun either. Typical Sundays in Korea prevent me of carrying my nose outside for any other reason than the Family Mart trips.

Yesterday after my blog post, I found enough courage to clean and sanitize my brew pots and stuffs. I then prepared to scale the ingredients (malts and hops) for brewing. I’m an all-grain brewer since batch #2. And batch #2 was a long time ago. My mom-in-law and my youngest bro-in-law dropped by when I was beginning to brew. My bro-in-law had a couple of pints of my last batch (Belgian trappist ale). He loved it. My mom-in-law had a couple of mugs of that shit-ass Korean max coffee powder (the yellow sticks). It seems like Koreans love to drink that stuff and to shamelessly call it coffee. Real coffee is nothing else than an espresso, without sugar. Furthermore, fresh ground. Some call that rocketfuel, though. We all chatted cheerfully while I was starting my brewing process. They stayed for an hour or so, and went back to my elder sister-in-law’s house (she lives 3 blocks away from us with my nephew, nieces and her husband).

After they left, I launched a spoof on my computer. My wife was too busy watching dramas and I was too busy brewing to have been able to watch a movie with her. I watched “Undercover Brother”. It was absolutely dumb, but I had a few laughs. It’s the perfect kind of movie to watch while brewing, since it doesn’t require you to think. By the end of “Undercover Brother”, I had finished the mashing process, and had extracted the wort from the grain. So I launched a horror comedy movie at the same time I launched the boil of the wort. It smelled amazing in the kitchen. I brewed a Düsseldorf Altbier. I worked on the recipe for a good 2 weeks a while back. It’s my first attempt at that style. It should be a little malty, amber colored, and it should finish crisp on the tongue. I already know it won’t fit the style properly, since it’s my first attempt.

So, at the end of “Zombie Strippers” (funny horror-comedy), the boil was almost finished. Once it finished, I strained the hops, and poured the content in a fermenter. Since the temperatures are very low lately, I just opened my balcony’s windows, and let the fermenter hermetically closed next to one of them for the night. This saved a good 50 minutes in my brewing process, since I didn’t have to cool the wort through my counter-flow chiller. I pitched the yeast this morning.

Yesterday night, my wife cooked me some Bokkompap (fried rice with many stuffs and kimchi in it). It was delicious. I ate cheese after that, and drank a mug of black tea. It was good. We watched a couple of cold case and went to bed.

Speaking about brewing, through the numerous batches (yet not a lot) I brewed, I’ve been developing a few good all-grain recipes that I’m proud of. Some by accident, some by lots of readings and experiments. Here is the list:
- English Strong Bitter
- Dry Stout
- Marzen Ale
- Belgian Trappist Dark Ale
- Belgian Wheat

I’m still working on an American Barley Wine recipe and a Blonde IPA recipe. One thing after another. I prefer to perfect my existing recipes to something I’m proud of, before to work on further recipes. Especially that I still have years and years or work to make those previous recipes perfect. Furthermore, Barley wines need at least one or two years in the basement in order to be perfect to drink. I don’t have that amount of time in Korea, so I’ll start this in the Old Country. I’ve already figured a recipe for it, that I’m improving little by little when I’ve got time, and depending on recipes and articles I read. Barley wines are usually brewed once a year among homebrewers, so you need to spend a considerable amount of time and efforts to make it as perfect as you can. When I was speaking in a previous post about batches I’d love to bottle, Barley Wines are a good example. Working on a bad-ass label design and cool corks, letting it age a few years at good temperatures in the basement, and pop one open for a good occasion with friends and/or family. Yeah, it sounds like good wines. Hence the Barley WINE appellation.

There’s another special recipe I’m working on, it’s the world’s strongest beer. Current record is 32% ABV, and it’s been accomplished by wicked Scottish brewers. I’m aiming for a 34-35% ABV. Those brewers’ technique is very ingenious, considering the fact that a beer can only possibly reach a 17%ABV or a 18%ABV. I will spare you the technical details about the yeasts possibilities, strengths, the contents of the wort, temperature and nutritients. Just take my word that 18, let’s say maybe 19% ABV with a lot of work, is the maximum you’ll get from an all malt fermentation. So, their technique consists of first brewing an Imperial Stout (15/16% ABV), ferment it, and then bringing the tank for a secondary in a huge walk-in freezer. How is that ingenious? Alcohol doesn’t freeze at freezer temps, but water does. So they just open the tank valve, and collect the concentrated beer, leaving the water present in the wort in the tank. The water being almost non-existent in the final product, it boosts the final ABV to a massive 32% ABV. Several reviews describe the beer as very malty, tasty and syrupy. A pint of that stuff would knock anyone on its ass. So as you understood, it’s to be sipped in small quantities in a snifter after dinner.

All my homebrews have a name. All of those names revolve around our Home-Brewery’s theme: Fantastic creatures. Like a lot of people in Europe, ethnically, I’m part Celtic. Gnomes, Dwarves, Korrigans, Leprechauns, fairies and all those stuffs are a huge deal in Celtic traditions and mythology. But the real reason is that back in Middle-school, my best-friend and I were respectfully nicknamed Dwarf and Gnome, due to our short size. Mind you, this was an affectionate way to be called by our good friends. Two years later, we grew so tall and large that these friends were half our height. This is still true nowadays, but we still like to call each other Dwarf and Gnome, for the old times’ sake. I’ve made cool temporary labels for those brews, but I’ll invest more energy making great labels when I’ll be completely proud of these recipes. Plus, I can borrow my sister’s graphic tablet back in the Old Country. It’s always cool to bring a couple of homebrew cans from the basement during a dinner with friends, and to let them taste with not only their taste-buds and noses, but also with their eyes.

I’m planning on soon writing an article for those of you, who showed an interest in brewing.

Well that’s it for now, See you later alligators,

Sun's day - 일요일 - Sunday

2010-01-17T09:46:00.002+09:00

Today is Sun's day, even though it isn't sunny. Yesterday we woke up a little bit late. We took a shower, got dressed and took the "express" bus for an hour. We then took the subway for 30 minutes more, and then took an other bus for an additional 30 minutes. We arrived at the in-laws at 1pm to have lunch with them.

None was home, so I turned on Fox (my in-laws have cool TV channels) and watched the "funniest home videos" show, while my wife called her parents and brothers. My father-in-law was getting drunk with his friend as usual, and gambling money on Sutda. My mother-in-law was being invited for a last minute lunch by one of her friends from "back-home" (they moved to the Big city 30 years ago from a lost part of the coastal southern countryside) . And her brother was at work. So we took the bus and went to E-Mart to have lunch at the food-court. They had a newly opened Burger King, so I had my weekly junkfood fix. I always order a Double-Cheeseburger, a coke without ice cubes, and fries. My wife had a Jajiangmyeon. I explained her that Jajiangmyeon are a failed adaptation of "Zha Jiang Mian" from China. She got pissed off and told me that Chinese stole it from Korea. I explained her that it was the other way around. We made a bet, and I showed her later on that I was right. She apologized for the dumb blind nationalism she has been fed of when she was a kid. Plus, Chinese Zha-jiang-mian taste heavenly and spicy; Korean jajiangmian are just nasty and tasteless.

We headed back home, and my mom-in-law came back from her lunch. We chatted and all on the floor of the living room, Korean style. I watched Fox's funny home videos while lending a ear to what they were saying. Now my wife can't tell bullshit about my behaviors and my tastes, coz I understand what they say in Korean. I had to correct her about the fact that I DO eat Kimchi at home, but only when I have either rice or Korean food. It'd be a crime for me, to eat Kimchi with a nice Spaghetti bowl with mushrooms saute and its Parmesan sauce, accompanied by a glass of wine. Well, for Koreans it's normal.

So after a few hours of chatting, my mother-in-law refilled my wife's Kimchi-Kimjang stocks, and we headed to the Big City, where we had Traditional Samgyeopsal at my wife's good friend's restaurant. I had Heukmi-Makkoli with my meal (Black Rice's beer), since I promised myself to ingest no liquor for at least a week. I could see the bottles of Baekseju in the fridge nearby calling me a cheater. Even without Baekseju, it was good. Her friend refused us to pay, and hugged us. It was cool from her. We then came back home around 9 or 10pm. We both checked stuffs on internet, and went to bed to speak, hug, kiss and other couples stuffs. Mrs. Baekseju and I have a very passionate relationship, even though she's much older than I am.

This morning, I woke up with the memories of a weird dream. Well, all dreams are weird. So I won't tell about it here, coz it's absolutely pointless. I had a bowl of cocoballs in chocolate-milk. I like Nesquik's powder, and I like no-brand cocoballs. Today I'm probably going to watch movies. I had to brew but it's too late to begin. I need to begin around 8.30am in order to be on the right schedule. I'll probably brew anyway, I have to motivate my lazy ass and clean and sanitize my brew-stuff.

Well, I'll do just that right now. See you later alligators,

Gold’s day – 금요일

2010-01-15T15:42:00.000+09:00

Today is Gold’s day, even though it isn’t a great day. Yesterday night, we had Talkkalbi (spicy poultry cooked in cabbage and stuff) with two of my friends. One of them, my niece’s Englishee teacher, came by my place before then, and we had a few alcohols and stuffs that I brought back from the Old Country (mostly 110 proof). By the time we made it to the restaurant, I think I was wasted. It seemed like we didn’t drink that much at that time, but we were finely drunk. We emptied 2 bottles of Baekseju, 2 pitchers of podoju and finished ourselves with a beer at a bar nearby. I was so drunk that I fell on the ice, twice. I’m still aching from it. Well, what is aching the most, is that I have a killer hangover and that I feel like my stomach is a ticking time bomb.

This morning my wife went for a medical examination. She had to be anesthetized. I didn’t go to work in a good mood, since I was a little bit stressed for her. This morning, one of my superiors yelled at me for some mistakes I made. I was 1. Hangover, 2.stressed, 3.in a bad mood. So I just lost it, and I yelled much louder and told that person to not treat me like a dog, and to never yell at me again. I think that just stunned the shit out of my superior. Everything is back to normal, now. Anyway, I won’t have to cope with that bullshit for long anymore. I’m planning to give my resignation letter the first week of February, saying that I’m leaving in the end of March. This will give them plenty of time to interview and hire a college kid freshly out of school in February, and during March I’ll be training the new person. Well, only if it goes as I planned.

Speaking about that, I finally finished my cover letter in my native language. It’s the final version, corrected by the Gorilla (Mr. Baekseju Senior) and a friend. It looks as much cheeky as I am. Recruiters should either throw it in the trashcan with strength, or call me at once. The Gorilla has some connections, and will distribute both my resume and my cover letter to his friends. Life is like that, it’s all about connections. Wednesday, the gorilla is invited at one his customer’s house to have dinner with my mom. His customer is a friend’s friend. The guy is a big shot of the nation and basically knows everyone in the high spheres. He has like fifteen PHDs, own a 1 square kilometer house in the heart of the capital, one in my hometown, graduated from our equivalent of Harvard, Yales and MIT, knows everyone in every field, and is now decorated by the president for some thesis he wrote as a hobby about I don’t know what. The Gorilla saved that dude’s ass, sending someone to fix the pipes and the water tank of his house in my hometown at the last minute. And for free. The guy asked what my dad wanted as a favor. The Gorilla answered: “Someday, and that day may never come, I shall call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, consider this justice as a gift.” Hahaha. Guess what favor he’ll ask? He’ll slip the dude my resume and my cover letter. See now, why my father is my role model?

Tonight, I plan on relaxing on the computer, reading all your blog updates, drink some bad ass black tea that I bought in the old country, and maybe have a pint of homebrew later with my dinner. I have to clean my homebrew stuffs and sanitize them, as I plan on brewing on Sunday. I’ve been delaying the inevitable for quite a few week-ends now, but my keg of the last batch is coming to an end. I have to move my ass, as it’ll take at least 3 weeks before it’ll be ready to drink on tap. Oh yeah, you read well. ON TAP. I built myself a kegerator a couple of years ago, with a second hand small fridge (the one room apartment kind of fridge), a draft tower and soda kegs I bought in the restaurant supplies market in Seoul. It’s a bit of an investment upfront (cost me 400.000won or so), but it’s just so great to be having a pint of homebrew ON TAP. Plus, it avoids us the burden of bottling. I hate bottling. Well, I like bottling special important batches with some kind of bottles with visual effects and shit, but I hate bottling on a regular basis. Some buy a Playstation 3, some buy a scooter, I for my part, built a kegerator (dual tap). Brewing is a great hobby. You get to be drunk on the fruit of your efforts. Isn’t that magical?

I wonder what we’ll have for dinner. I’m craving for some Kamjatang (pork vertebras’ soup). But I’m afraid that the Kamjatang will be calling for Baekseju. I have to make sure that I don’t have any baekseju in the fridge before I order it. I decided to clean up for a while. I won’t be drinking at all (except with family) for a week. Mark my words. No vodka-polak, no white-Cuban, no wine. Zip. Only food, snacks, homebrews and soft drinks will be allowed to go down my throat. Right, homebrews aren’t alcohol in my book. These are slightly alcoholic beverage which are a great complement in vitamin B and other nutritients for men’s organisms. Plus, you can get as much wasted as you want with unfiltered homebrews, you’ll never be hung-over. These are the magics of yeasts’ Vitamin B. I will cook vegetables for my wife, as she is on a meat-free diet for health problems. I’ll probably check vegan websites in order to find something delicious to cook for my princess. Then, I’ll go to the supah and buy the stuffs. Ain’t I a great husband?

Lately, I’m movie-hunting. I quit my MMORPG, and I’m now in a movie-freak period. I love all kinds of movies. Thrillers, Spoofs, funny movies, horror comedies, bang-bang punch-punch action movies, psychological stuffs, weird movies in black and white, asian cinema (park chan-wook style), literally anything, as long as it’s an interesting movie. But I hate love stories and other teenage girls dramas shits. I challenge you all to give me 5 or 10 great movies titles, so I can occupy my mind while waiting for my wife to come back from work every night. You can forget Fight Club, The 25th Hour, The Beach, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, as they’re my favorite movies. Speaking about “The Beach”, this movie is a pearl of the cinema which none understood at its just value. All because this kid Leonardo DiCaprio was the main character of the movie, this was classified as Hollywood big-budget piece of shit. Well, many people don’t have the ability to read between the lines. This movie is just great. It’s a great movie about Human Nature, the shaky concept of an “Utopia”, etc… Well, it maybe isn't a pearl. But just a good movie.

Tomorrow, Mrs Baekseju wants to visit her parents. So we’ll have to spend 2 hours and a half in a fucking bus to go and visit the in-laws. I can’t refuse that to her and be indulgent, as we’re leaving in 80 days. It’s only 10 remaining week-ends for her to see the in-laws. She won’t see her family for a good two years after that.

Anyway, see you later alligators,

Wood’s day – 목요일 – Thursday

2010-01-14T11:24:00.002+09:00

Today is Wood’s day. We woke up in a bad mood. My wife’s laptop had its screen fucked up. One of us probably walked on it while waking up to go to the toilets. I think I told her five hundred times that it’d happen sooner or later, if she didn’t decide to finally be more careful with her things. Guess what, it happened this morning. I just got her on the phone; it’ll cost us 220.000won to get it fixed. It fucking is half the price of the notebook. Once again, she didn’t want to listen to me. Samsung’s after-service truly must be making billions thanks to stubborn and careless ajjumas.

Speaking about computers, yesterday I received another 1 terabyte hard-drive. I’ve been saving on my allowance for months in order to buy it. I’m officially a Linux guy. I seldom use windows anymore. The only reason I’d need to use windows would be to play my favorite MMORPG, or to use a Korean website. Most of Korean websites (95%) still refuse to open to the world, and only work on Internet Explorer (and not all versions of it). This is just ridiculous. Since only my wife is using Korean websites, she has a (shiny pink) notebook with Windows on it.

I, for my part, have Ubuntu 9.10 on my desktop computer. It’s 200% user-friendly, and surprisingly even more user-friendly than Windows itself or even Mac OS. Every single windows software has its free equivalent on Linux, and can be downloaded in a click, for free. The files they produce are completely compatible with windows softwares (.xls, .doc, .jpg., .png, .avi, .mp3, .ppt, .pdf, etc…) Of course, there’s no concept of virus or even any crash on Linux. It’s completely stable. As for the MMORPG, I quit last month. I was just bored of that game. I’ve seen that a few good games have been released in Linux versions. Like Never Winter Nights, Quake and a few others. Linux had no problem to detect and install automatically ALL my hardware, from my no-name Chinese soundcard to my no-name Vietnamese webcam. Really. Even windows couldn’t recognize them, since they had no product references and that I lost their drivers’ CDs. With Linux, I just plugged them and it worked right away.

I didn’t make the switch to Linux right away. I did it progressively, to finally give up windows with absolutely zero regret. Why pay for shit or take risks downloading illegal softwares, when you can get the same and even better for FREE? I noticed that my computer is so much faster since I switched to Ubuntu. The only thing that bothered me a little is that there wasn’t any google chrome version for Linux….. until last week ! So I’m now using Google Chrome instead of Linux’s default browser, Mozilla Firefox. Anyway both browsers are awesome and work great, but I prefer Google Chrome somehow.

Take the tour for Linux Ubuntu 9.1 here: http://www.ubuntu.com/products/whatisubuntu/910features
There even is a special program to try it from Windows, so you don't need to erase nor install anything. You can even install it on a USB key.

Yesterday I watched the end of “Club Dread”, it’s a horror spoof made by Jay Chandrasekhar, a Tamil-American dude who loves to make spoofs and funny movies. I like his style. The movie was fun. I celebrated my total switch to linux with a pitcher of Hite. I know, it’s less classy than a bottle of champagne, but in Korea, champagne is fucking overpriced. See, anything sounding like luxury, here, in Korea, is overpriced. A bottle of good champagne is 8 euros in the old country. Well, if you’ve got good connections. Here, it’s 4 times more, for a bottle of shitty stuff. Anyway, the whole point is that I’m a cheap motherfucker and that I won’t fatten those dirty greasy Emart owners.

Since Mrs. Baekseju wanted to check things on her laptop before to have dinner, I watched a documentary about Killer Whales. It was super interesting. I’m a geeky nerd trapped in the body of a normal man. I’ve seen an elephant-seal giving birth to a calf on a beach. It was impressive. I’ve learned how intelligent killer whales are. They live in clans, and never leave each other. They have their own languages and dialects depending on tribes. They avoid inbreeding by holding a big “tribes meeting” at the same place every year for reproduction. They can live more than 40 years, and get adult by age 15, when they can start their reproduction. They love massages, and massage themselves on rocky not-deep waters, or with sea-weeds. It’s just incredible how those sea mammals are so similar to us. Except that they aren’t hurting the planet with useless technologies. After that, we watched a couple of Cold Case and went to bed, and talked. I had Etang’s Super Supreme Pizza with some Tabasco and a few pints of hite for dinner. Mrs. Baekseju had what we call between us “Korean Fridge Food”, which basically consists in Korean food cooked with leftovers and other stuffs from the fridge + rice.

This morning I was a bit late, and rushed to work. Some parts of my beard were frozen by the time I arrived at work. Apparently, I didn’t dry it correctly since I was in a hurry.

Thanks for the shows suggestions, Scott ! I knew Breaking Bad already, and it’s a great show. I’ll follow your advices for the two other series.

See you later alligators,

Water’s day – 수요일 – Wednesday

2010-01-13T10:49:00.001+09:00

Today is water’s day. Yet, it’s -15c outside, and the floor is a fucking ice-skating pound everywhere. Yesterday was quiet, I came back home from work a little bit later than usual, and I fixed myself a few Vodka-Polak (polish rye-vodka + pure apple juice). I watched “Baghead”, waiting for my wife to come back from work. It’s about a couple of best-friends who want to write a self-produced movie. They go in a cabin in the woods with two girls, a DV recording-camera, and decide to write the scenario. You should definitely watch that movie. When my wife came back home, she cooked me some tortellini and tagliatelle, with mushrooms sauté. I spread tons of ground parmesan, on it, of course. I had a few White Cubans, and we then went to bed, spoke, and fell asleep.

This morning I read the article KRD wrote about Kang-Shit-Who’s last article. For those of you who don’t know him, Kang-Shit-Who is the most untalented and closed-minded “journalist” in the world. He “writes” racist rants about white foreigners in Korea, and propagandas about how South Korea is number one; in the toilet-paper-leaf so-called newspaper which is the “Korea Times”. The Korea Times supposedly is an English newspaper. Kang-Shit-Who probably is the CEO’s son-in-law or his nephew, and probably didn’t pass high school. Not that I pretend to be good in English, but Kang-Shit-Who’s articles truly look like they were written with Google-Translate’s online translator. Kang-Shit-Who loves to base his articles on zero solid facts, in order to justify his racism. He is one of the “men” who bring a dirty reputation to South Korea. If you ask me, I think that Kang-Shit-Who should be expelled of this country, and sent to North Korea as a propaganda engineer. Kang-Shit-Who is very good at writing propaganda. I’m sure he would easily become one of Jong-Il’s favorite minions.

Anyway, my friend KRD’s article analyzes Kang-Shit-Who’s last piece-of-shit article, about a Lonely Planet poll, which placed South Korea on the top-3 of the most hated cities in the world. This made Kang-Shit-Who so angry and shaky, that he decided to write an article about it, and compare it with a very reliable source, called the “New York Times”. Or how to use what another single human being said positive about something, and then use it as a weapon against what hundreds of other people said negative about that thing. Grade school style. Anyway, I won’t speak more about that, just go to my haggis-eating favorite virtual friend’s blog and read his article. Yes, haggis-eating, since he broke a myth and avowed that he doesn’t wear kilts. It truly is a whole legend dying right here. Thank you, KRD, for breaking our illusions so heartlessly.

I’m still waiting for your suggestions of TV-Series to watch with my wife.

Other than that, I can’t wait for Gold’s day. Week-end seems so far away.

See you later alligators,

Fire’s Day - 화요일 – Tuesday

2010-01-12T11:00:00.000+09:00

Today is Fire’s day, even though it’s quite cold outside. I’m worried for my wife, coz the ground is icy. I don’t want her to slip on it and hurt herself. My wife is super bright, but she’s very clumsy.

Yesterday was quite stressful at work. I’ve got a new work-partner abroad, and she just graduated from college. She’s nice, but she’s so slow and not reactive. She basically have no real job experience. I’m trying to be nice, since I’ve been in her position and I’ve been a beginner too quite a few times. But my other coworkers blame me for her low-speed. Well, in Korean society, you need someone to blame/burn in a public place to calm down the angry crowds. This time it’s me, and for something I’m absolutely not responsible of. Fine by me, I’m not in this rat hole for much longer anyway.

When I came back home, I opened a bottle of Zubrowka polish rye-vodka. It’s my favorite vodka. I was lucky enough to find a bottle of it at the duty free shop back in the Old Country’s airport. I mix my Zubrowka with a cloud of organic 100% apple juice and 2 ice cubes. We call that “Vodka-Polak” back home. It was heavenly. I had a few until my wife came back home. Meanwhile, I was watching “The Happiness of the Katakuris”. It’s a strange-weird Japanese movie, which supposedly is a horror-comedy movie. But it’s not. The movie is about that Japanese family of losers, losers generation after generation. The father of the family decides to buy a guesthouse in the middle of the Japanese countryside, basically in the middle of nowhere, with his layoff’s allowance. The Katakuris never receive any guest… until one day. Their first guest suicides in their guesthouse, and they decide to cover it up. Many strange deaths happen to their guests, and they keep covering it up. It’s a very good movie that you should definitely watch.

After the movie, my wife arrived home, and she cooked me some Bokkompap. Unfortunately, we’re in a “Mother-in-law-Kimjang-Kimchi”’s shortage, so it wasn’t spicy enough for me. I downed a bottle of Baekseju (large) with my meal. It was great. After that, we went to bed and we talked a lot. It was great.

This morning I woke up a bit late, so I had to skip breakfast. My stomach in growling at me. Friday night I need to clean and sanitize my brewing stuff. I’ll brew a Düsseldorf Altbier. On Saturday, we must go to the parents-in-law’s house, in the North of South Korea. It’s always a long ride by public transportation, but it’s quite fast by car. But I don’t have a car here (anymore). I need to brew my last batch on Sunday, and we’ll then send all my brewing stuff to the old country by slow sea-freight.

Lately, during my slacking breaks, I’m organizing our trip to go back to the Old Country. It should look like that:
Hanoi, Vietnam à Vientiane, Laos à Pakse, Laos à Steung Treng, Cambodia à Phnom Penh, Cambodia à Siem Reap, Cambodia (Angkor Wat) à Bangkok, Thailand à Phuket, Thailand à Penang, Malaysia à Medan, Indonesia à Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia à Singapore. And then, the big final: Singapore – Old Country’s capital by plane.

It still is, of course, a work in progress, but it should be a three weeks and a half trip. After that trip, we will have cleared the whole South-East and North-East Asia (Yes, we’ve even visited North Korea).

Well, I’m off. See you later alligators !

Moon’s day – 월요일 – Monday

2010-01-11T11:06:00.001+09:00

This morning my shoulder’s muscles are fucked up. I don’t know why, since I don’t exercise lately. Well, I maybe have my answer. Last Saturday night, we had my friend’s birthday party. It was cool.

We had some “fat pork Samgyeopsal”, and lots of Baekseju. After then, we went to our favorite pub. I drank two bottles Samuel Adams, because I was sick (bad cold). I won a bet with a friend, so I had a White Cuban. Bars use generic rum, so it wasn’t great, but it was good enough. I lost at darts thrice (three times). We came back home around 1am with my wife, and went to sleep.

Yesterday morning I went “Horror-Comedy movies” hunting. I should receive quite a few classics in the days to come. I already had a couple of movies waiting for me. In the morning I watched “Black Sheep” on the advice of Col, from “The Life in Ansan” blog. This movie was super great. I had good laughs. I had a chicken sauté and a pint of homebrew for breakfast. I love Sundays. I had a quick lunch, considering the fest I had for breakfast. After noon, we watched a couple of episodes of Cold Case with the wife. We’re worried, because we almost finished Season 4, and that we already finished CSI: Las Vegas, CSI: Miami, CSI: NYC, NCIS, Criminal Minds, so we’ve got nothing left to watch. We’re forensics/criminal tv-series freaks. If any of you have good advices for other tv-series, let me know. Later, I watched a very weird and fucked-up movie. I love very weird and fucked-up movies. I watched “Perdita Durango”. You’ve got to have some skills in Spanish, because a few parts of the dialogues are in Spanish and not subtitled. It’s a Basque-Mexican-American co-production. It was more than fucked-up weird, but I liked it. It’s now in my “favorite movies” library. It was very difficult to find it. I’ve been searching a movie for a while, now. It’s called “The Granny” and only available in a limited quantity of bad quality VHS or in drive-in cinemas projectors format. I’m checking Amazon and the others online stores every now and then, and I seem to have no luck finding it for less than 10$ (shipping included) in good quality.

This morning my alarm clock didn’t ring, because my fucking phone charger didn’t do its job, and that my phone collapsed. Since my phone is my alarm clock, it didn’t ring. Fortunately, I woke up 2mn before it should have rung. I checked my mails, my readers’ blogs, my facebook and hopped in the shower. And now I’m at work.

See you later alligators,

Earth's Day - 토요일 - Saturday

2010-01-09T13:14:00.003+09:00

Today is Saturday. Yesterday afternoon I took a half day off and went to watch a movie at my friend's place. He's a university english professor at the nearby university. We watched "The Bank Job" while splitting a 6-pack of Budweiser. I then came back home, waited for my wife to come back from work.

She came back home with 2 roast chickens. There's an old Korean dude selling them on the back of his truck on our district's main street. We had it while watching cold-case. I like the "white" parts of the bird. Breasts and all. She likes the pink meat of it. Legs and all. We're a perfect team. I dip it in salt, she dips it in honey mustard. I didn't drink with my meal. I usually enjoy Baekseju with it. We spoke for quite a while about our plans.

We then went to bed around midnight and spoke some more on the pillow. This morning I woke up with a sore-throat. I put some medicine spray on where it hurts. It's imported from the Old Country, some real medicine. Very different from the Korean placebos they sell you at the pharmacy. Korean medicine does absolutely nothing to me, other than getting me even sicker. I've watched some B-Movie. This one might actually the worse I've seen. "2019: After the fall of new york". This was so bad that it was almost funny. It's actually the whole point of B-Movies. It's the kind of movie I used to watch high with friends and laugh like a dumb-ass.

I'll probably fix myself a grog to fight the sore-throat too. My grandpa's own Old Country (different from my Old Country) recipe adapted to what I've got in the closet and the bar. Infuse a third or a half of a cinnamon stick in very warm milk (don't let it come to a boil, or it's screwed), mix a fare amount of honey in it, a few drops of lemon, and a generous amount of Rum. It's lunch time, and I think I need my junkfood weekly fix. I'll probably have a Big-Mac, fries and a cheese-burger.

Tonight is one of my very good friends' birthday. He's a Yankee, but he's cool. I'm not in a good shape, but I'll at least have to go and have dinner with them. I can't miss his birthday. On the advices of Col, who won his Teddy Bear reward and his candle at church every time I'll go, I'm getting "Black Sheep". I can't wait to see it. I had already watched Brain Dead, which is of course a classic. Thanks from the bottom of my heart, my kilt-wearing mate.

Well, see you later alligators !

Wood’s day – 목요일 – Thursday

2010-01-07T17:25:00.001+09:00

I haven’t posted yesterday, I wasn’t in the mood. My sister failed her driving license exam for the third time. She drives better than I do, but they keep refusing her. This is fucking unfair, and it pisses me off. My sister always seems to have to fight to succeed stuffs, even though she’s very good at it. I’m a fucking shamrock, I always pass, succeed and whatsoever even when I’m under the required level.

This didn’t add well to the fact that my father is still fighting with the court and taxes offices for his ex-business closure. In the Old Country, government is just doing all it can to keep your head under the water if you’re a business owner. And once you’ve drowned, they sell your organs on the black market, put debts-loans on your great-grandkids for 4 generations with the highest interests they can. Well, it’s of course a figure of speech, and I’m of course exaggerating because I’m pissed off at how government treats entrepreneurs. Aw well, he’s already opened a new business and he’s doing well. But we’d love to see the old shit coming to an end.

On top of that, one of two best-friends is acting like a grade school 6 years old bitch. During the 1 week holiday in the Old Country, I didn’t have much time to see friends, so I spent the maximum I could with family. I didn’t have much time, it was Christmas and new year’s time, so I didn’t call him. Why bother? I’ll be back in April. After 2 years without seeing each other, he could understand that 3 months is more or less nothing. Guess what, he deleted me from his friends on Facebook and shit. Like I said, grade school style. I know this dude since we were both 13 years old or so. All the friends he has (except one) are the friends I introduced him to. Our friendship traces back when we were climbing down the gutters from our bedrooms at late night, to meet each other in the back of our gardens to smoke cheap stuff and drink cheap vodka while chatting and goofing around. We’ve been hanging out together almost every two or three days back in the Old Country. When his own mother kicked him out from her apartment on his step-father’s orders, he stayed for about 3 months in my parent’s place, even ate dinner with my parents and sister every night. My mom made his laundry and shit. Back when we were 15 or so, my cousin and he had a serious argument, and I defended that guy, instead of my own flesh and blood. I sent him a spicy message on facebook, reminding him all that shit and telling him to grow up. We’ll see what he’ll have to answer. At least I let the door open. One thing is sure; it’ll take time before I consider him like a grown man again.

So yesterday, I watched the second part of “Scent of a Woman” once again. It’s one of my favorite movies. After that, waiting for my wife to come back from work, I watched “Lesbian Vampires Killers”. This was hilarious. Well, you’ve got to be a fan of the “Shaun of the Dead”, “Hot Fuzz”, “Elvira” kind of shits. British humor is definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. By the way, if you know other movies of that kind, please post them in comments. You’ll earn a Teddy Bear reward at once. If you already own it, I’ll cheer to your health and prosperity every time I open a bottle of Baekseju, and I’ll burn a candle at church in your honor every time I’ll go and honor my fervent Catholic duties (probably once every 2 years). I had two pints of homebrew while watching the movies, and then my wife arrived home.

We watched our usual two episodes of Cold Case, I had soft boiled eggs for dinner with half a baguette. I had some dry European sausage on the side, and a few slices of European cheese. I finished my dinner by a “White Cuban” (1 dose Dark Rum [anything but Bacardi], 1 dose Kahlua, a cloud of fat milk, 2 ice cubes). This is my new favorite drink for after dinner. I wasn’t in the mood for a huge meal.

Speaking about this type of movies, I’m also a big fan of “B-Movies”. The ones you find for 1 euro or less in the discount stores. If it’s in VHS, it’s even better. The scenario is usually very bad, the production cheap, and the actors completely untalented. My best-friend and I (the other one who didn’t make a fuss) love to watch those movies on a drinking night together. Fun stuff, even if it’s not supposed to be.

Tonight we’re having dinner with my wife’s Kyopo friend (foreign born and raised pure bred Korean). She apparently is a nice girl, and she’s here for a couple of weeks to visit her grandparents. My wife and she met each other in New York a while back, when my wife was learning English while working in a beauty salon putting nail polish on old American ladies’ fingers. I’ve never been to New York, but I’ve lived in the Mid-West for quite a bit. I wasn’t doing much there. I was working one month in Europe, and taking one month off at my ex’s house in Missouri. I was cooking for her family, preparing her breakfast, cleaning and all, doing the errands, like a perfect housewife (a few nasty mouths would say gigolo). There are two cities left I’d like to visit in the US. First is New York, second is Anchorage, Alaska. I’ve been to Missouri, Illinois, Tennessee, Florida, the Bahamas, but I’ve never been to New York. Well, not outside JFK Airport at least. That girl broke my heart. We even were going to get married three of four years ago. We got properly engaged and shit. But shortly before we began to plan the weddings, I discovered that she had cheated on me, twice, in the beginning of our relationship, on one of the months when I was in Europe. 5 bottles of wine, 2 cases of Budweiser classic, 2 packs of camel and a heartbreak later, I decided to break up with her; and I spent my remaining week there, sleeping on the couch. Well, not every night if you know what I mean, but it was crystal clear that it was the last week we were seeing each other. It broke her mother’s heart more than ours, apparently, and I never told her what her daughter did, in order to lead us to a break-up. I’m a nice guy, I guess. We’re still friends nowadays, and she definitely isn’t a bad woman. We probably were too young. Life just had other plans for me. I then came back to the Old Country, and my ex-boss proposed me to go to China to open his company. And you probably know the following.

Well, I’ve got stuffs to do, so see you later alligators,

Fire's Day - 화요일 (Tuesday)

2010-01-05T12:23:00.007+09:00

Today is Fire's day, yet it's not hot, the snow has begun to melt after noon yesterday, then it froze again yesterday evening, and it snowed some more on top of that. The perfect nightmare for car drivers.

Yesterday night we had a few drinks at my favorite bar with my friend and I went back home before 9.30. We watch an episode of Cold-Case while I fixed myself some quick eggs on the pan. We then had our usual conversation on the pillow. I love that moment of the day. It's important for a couple to share feelings and to speak about stuffs. My wife is my best-friend.

This morning I realized that the Euro-Won exchange rate was super good. So I wired all my savings on my European bank account. Too bad I cannot retrieve my apartment's deposit before March 28th. In case you didn't realize, Korea's currency is going to crash so bad in the next few months, that you'll use 10.000 won bills to wipe your butt after taking a dump. At least this huge economical crash to come will ease the reunification between South and North. Don't believe me? You'll see. I, for my part, saw it in my crystal ball.

This morning, my European ex-boss arrived in the office for a couple of days. It's cool to see him. I'm hesitating to talk to him about our plan to leave Kimchiland on April 5th. I'm teared between 1. Keeping it secret until mid-march so I don't get fired before nor working in a heavy (-ier) atmosphere and 2. Beginning to try and find a job back in the Old Country. I'll just keep it quiet for now, and I'll call him in March the day before I tell my new boss that I quit.

It's getting harsher and harsher at work. People left and people are coming lately. I'll have to start all over again my integration, for just 90 remaining days. This is going to be some tough challenge. Aw well, it’s only 12 Friday’s to endure. Speaking of which, I need to correct my resume in my native language and write a cover letter. The Gorilla (Mister Baekseju Senior) knows quite a lot of people back in the Old Country, so he might be able to find me a few contacts.

We need to book our flights to Hanoi, Vietnam. It’s the beginning of the trip we’ll make before to move back home, and which will lead us to Singapore. We’ll stop by 6 countries on the way, which should calm us down for a couple of years before the travel bug hits us back. Plus, we’ll have finished visiting all S.E. and N.E. Asia. Traveling there from Europe is quite pricy, so we wanted to take care of that while here. The goal is to visit all the countries of the world before we finish in a wheel-chair, all wrinkled and senile. Someone said that traveling opens your mind. It’s probably true.

This one was a late night post.

See you later alligators,

Moon’s Day – 월요일 - Back in Kimchi-Land

2010-01-04T11:57:00.005+09:00

Today is Moon’s day. It’s been a bit more than a week since my last post. The reason is simple, I was in the Old Country. I didn’t have time to write any article. Well, I had, but I definitely preferred spending time with my relatives. So, this is a very long post.

We took the plane on Friday 25th, and the plane was packed with men from my Old Country, married with Korean women. It was very funny to see that I'm definitely not the only one of my kind in Korea. I guess that these guys are forbidden by their wives to step foot out of the apartment. We were lucky enough to be seated next to the emergency accesses. I'm a tall idiot, so I had lots of room for my legs, and it was very much comfortable. In the plane, I watched "District 9", "Tetro", "Ice Age 3" and other movies which didn't leave any noticeable mark in my memory. Tetro was super cool. I happen to speak (Argentinean) Spanish, I'm a black&white movies freak, I love weird movies, so I loved it. I think it was subtitled english, so watch it.

We arrived on Friday 25th around 7pm (once out of the customs and luggage arrival). My dad and my sister were there to pick us. It had been more than a year and a few months since I last saw them. My dad is some hairy gorilla (he has fur on his back, on his arms, on his face, on his chest and stomach, on his arms, and even on the soles of his feet). Even though he’s a gorilla, he cried when he hugged me. I guess he’s a sensitive gorilla. I cried too. Mister Baekseju is sensitive too.

We had some heavenly dinner (yet very simple), accompanied by my favorite wines. My dad and I have slightly different tastes when it comes to that. He of course loves all kinds of wines by the moment what he’s drinking is quality stuff. See, I love Burgundy wines and Cataluña wines. I like strong red wines, full of flavors and heavy on the tongue. I don’t like watery stuffs, like all these Bordeaux which are exported to the US or Korea. I’m probably just being a worthless European snob, as usual.

Speaking of which, once of my users taught me that it’s “A European” and not “An European”. I knew it already. But I prefer to let the mistake in the title. I’m not a native English speaker, so it should smell authentic. It was a harsh decision for me to write it that way, but I’ve been taught by my native English teachers at school, that when the following word starts by a vowel, you should write “an” instead of “a”. Sure, you pronounce it “Yeuropean”, but even “Y” is a vowel. So fuck it. I’ll hide my closed-mind behind that proof of authenticity.

So, on Saturday we went to have a pint or two (more like four) at my uncle’s bar with my dad. He isn’t my real uncle, but I know him since way before I could reach the wet bar’s top. He’s always been super kind to me and treated me like family. I don’t recall when was the last time I had to pay my pint of Belgian ale. I think I’ve never paid anything there. He’s been there for my grandma’s funerals, he’s been there for my 20th birthday (much bigger thing in Europe than the 21st in the US), he’s been there for my graduations, he employed me a few times back when I was a broke student… Well, he earned his uncle title. So, I drunk-drove back home with my dad (I was very careful), and we had an amazing lunch. Madame Baekseju was sleeping on my knees while I was watching TV. My parents subscribed to that new internet package which provides hundreds of international TV channels for free. So I watched Georgian and Iranian TV while she took a nap. I promise you that, drunk, it was super interesting. Unfortunately for Madame Baekseju, they don’t have Korean channels. They just provide the TV channels of our main immigrant populations (dozens of millions of: Moroccans, Algerians, Turkish, Africans, Chinese, Eastern-Europeans). In the Old Country we don’t have Korean immigrants. Our living cost is too high, Koreans are afraid of jobs which dirt their hands and hold them back of wearing a cheap shiny suit and tie, and there is no pre-existing Korean population there. So, there’s none to lend them a hand when they arrive there. We sure have Korean immigrants, but they’re all women who married men from my country while they both were living abroad. So, there’s no Korean “community” to speak of. Most definitely, the day we go back to the Old Country, Madame Baekseju will get through the same shit I went through here, in The Land of the Morning Calm.

So, on Saturday night we had our Christmas dinner with my family. It was the 26th, but we had to postpone due to our late arrival (fuck your, old country’s airline company). So we all pretended that it was Christmas Eve and enjoyed a fucking amazing dinner. I had some nice horse meat roasted in the oven, small potatoes sautéed in the pan with goose grease, and amazing Burgundy wines. We finished with half a dozen of champagne bottles and a cognac in the sofa. For Christmas, I offered a box of cigars to my dad (it cost me quite a lot, but it was worth it). He loves the “Romeo & Juliette”, the Partagás ones. The Gorilla’s got tastes. So we had one in the couch, while sipping on X.O. Cognac. Meanwhile, the three Madame Baekseju (mom, wife and sister), my defunct grandpa’s little brother, my 4 cousins, my aunt and uncle were speaking together. That was some amazing, even though belated, Christmas eve.

On Sunday we wanted to go shopping with my wife, so we took the car and went to my department’s capital. It’s the slum I was born in. The percentage of immigrants over natives, there, is over 70%, not including their children whom are considered as natives by the statistics. My father and my mother are two of these children. As I might have told you, my parents have foreign roots. The only difference between my parents and them, is that they never profited of the social helps nor sucked dry the government money while sitting on their butts at home, and dealing a few bags of weed an hour or so a day in order to make approximately the same amount of money you make working your ass off in the capital, and paying their social helps. Welcome in the Old Country, where immigrants are treated like princes and princesses, while natives are treated like shit. You sure guess that the plunge to xenophobism and a civil war in my department is held back by only a cunt hair. Things tend to change, though, nowadays; and all these injustices are soon to be suppressed. But it’ll take decades to erase the mistakes of the dumb socialists who governed us for 20 years and screwed up our country. Don’t get me wrong, I used to be a socialist… until I turned 19 and had to fly with my own wings. It’s when I realized that, being a native, I’d never get any help to start in life. The socialism pushed at its extreme. You’re an immigrant; government will help you and present you its ass to get anal-raped. You’re a native, fuck off. This feeling then increased when I arrived in the US, and saw how immigrants were treated, then even more in China, and so much more here, in Korea, where I can see that I’m considered as a white trash and that I that I don’t deserve any help from the Korean government. This could sound like anti-immigrants blabbers. Wrong. My whole family is from everywhere in the world. Two of my aunts are Spanish, one of my uncle is Moroccan, another one is Tunisian, one of my aunts is Egyptian, my cousins are mixed Egyptian-Lebanese and my old country’s, some of my grandparents are from other countries in Europe, I myself am mixed and married to a Korean woman. I’m just sick and tired of injustice. Well, enough of my department’s politics. So, when we arrived at the huge mall, it was closed. It’s usually opened on Sunday, but it was Christmas’ Sunday. Bummer.

On Monday, my wife, my sister and my mother went to the Arab Spa, next to the Muslim Mosque of my country’s capital. It was my wife’s gift. They spent the whole day there. I spent the day with my dad, touring friends. We used the opportunity that my wife was not here, to visit my dad’s parents. My paternal grandparents are assholes. I like to visit them as much as I like spinaches. I had to hear my grandma’s racist blabbers for two hours straight, while drinking champagne and watching old family pictures. She didn’t even give me a Christmas 50 Euros bill, as she used to do every year. Bitch. See, my maternal grandparents were awesome people; they even helped my parents to raise me. I loved them so much. I wish they had met my wife. They died from cancer a few years back. It’s always the best and sweetest persons who leave first. On Monday night, my Dad had organized a little party with our mutual friends (I hang out with old balls, which tend to be friends of my father) at one of these friends’ home. We had two big bowls of Punch (Overseas Islands Rum macerated with exotic fruits and a little bit of juice), a few bottles of red wine and 2 bottles of champagne. And of course finger food, so we didn’t collapse. My best friend joined us. It was good to see him after 2 years without seeing each other. We know each other since age 13. After the party, we went the local beer pub (10 beers on tap, 108 in bottles), where one of my friends, the general manager, told me he was quitting in a week and immigrating to Slovakia. When I came back home, my wife was still high of the massages, sauna, hammam and all. At first, I even thought they smoked pot with my mother and sister.

On Tuesday, we went shopping. My wife wanted me to buy a pair of quality jeans. I hate shopping. So we were in and out in 1 hour. I bought a pair of “Quicksilver”. I only have 3 or 4 favorite brands. Quicksilver is one of the only two brands I can afford. Among those are Emporio Armani and Gucci Classics, which I won’t be able to afford until 2035 (if my calculations are correct). I’m a classic man. I dress in suits all week long, but on week-ends, I like to wear a pair of nice jeans, a nice shirt, a leather coat and classy shoes. You could call me the English man in New York, except that I’m not a Roastbeef and that I live in Korea. (No offense, my Roastbeef brothers). Well, after the shopping session, we went to buy chocolates at the hypermarket. It’s a tradition in Korea to bring back gifts to your coworkers when you go abroad… I won’t even comment on that. On Tuesday night, we had dinner at my bestfriend’s house. His mom prepared some amazing veal in sauce, with a tasty béchamel and salad. It was heavenly. We meanwhile had a beer tasting session. I bought a shitload of Belgian beers for the occasion. Everything was tasty. I finished with a nice scotch (Laphroaig, or whatever it’s spelled). We then went back home.

On Wednesday we went to Ikea with my Dad and my wife, to buy a couch for our house. I think I told you that my wife and I have a house in the Old Country. It’s on the opposite side of my parents’ garden. My father finished to renovate it the day before we arrived. He still needs to install the kitchen and the fireplace, though. We even have a big LCD tv (or plasma, don’t really know the difference). After that, we went to the local supermarket and bought Tofu, spicy sauces, pork belly, beef meat and headed back home. My wife was very surprised that she could find asian stuffs at a reasonable price, in a simple supermarket, while I have to ride the subway for 1 hour and a half to buy overpriced European products at Costco. We cooked Korean dinner for my parents and sister (samgyeopsal, kimchi-jjigae, miso-soup, etc…). I had a bottle of Baekseju with my meal, which I specially brought for the occasion.

On Thursday morning, my wife stayed home with my sister to do stuffs, while I drove to my friend’s catering kitchen. We cooked there with my dad and friends, while drinking a few scotch&cola. It was cool. We then brought back home all that food we prepared for new year’s eve. We spent the whole day to prepare for that night. Many friends came in advance to help us. Thursday night was awesome. Great wines, great booze, great food, great people, great smokes. We had fun. One of my uncles wanted to try Baekseju. We killed two bottles of it before I even noticed we were drinking. Before I knew it, it was 9.30am and we were drinking our 7th "White Cubans" (Rhum, Kahlua, Milk) with my uncle and my aunt, chatting on the couch. My aunt was born in Uganda (even though she's white) and grew up everywhere in the world. She had numerous of interesting stories that I really wanted to hear. I then prepared the breakfast table for everyone (all the guests slept at our place), and went to take a 4 hours nap.

On Friday, I was in pain. But not too much. Booze in the old country is of much better quality than here in Kimchi-land, so the methanol contents are very much different, then the hangovers too. European snobs prefer quality to quantity, the exact opposite of Korean way of doing things. That said, I still was in pain. We had brunch with Madame Baekseju and the family. I had "Coppa", cheese and wine. I wanted to take a last fix of the old country's food. We then checked our European bank accounts with my wife, and made a few calculations and sealed the decision we made before to go to the Old Country for the holidays. We'll be leaving Korea on April 5th. This is official. Mister Baekseju and Madame Baekseju decided to prepare their departure. The End of the Korean adventure is in 90 days. It's a secret, so don't tell my Boss, I prefer to wait a bit more before to do so.

On Saturday, my mom brought us to the airport. The lady at the check-in was nice and let a few additional kilogs slip, but she asked us to take out 2 or 3 kilogs. So I gave up the nice wines I brought back for friends. Sorry guys. I gave them to my mom to bring back home. We then have a coffee. I wanted to savour a super good expresso for the last time until 3 months later. For once, my mom wasn't too sad and crying, nor was my family. It probably is the first time that she knows when I'm coming back. We usually spend 1 year and a half to 2 years before we meet again. This time it's only a "See you in 3 months" kind of goodbye. Before to leave, I bought a few magazines, since my gameboy had no battery. (I play once every two years, so I had forgotten to charge it...) I realised later on, that I should have bought crosswords in my native language. Dumb me.

I bought a bottle of Żubrówka wódka (my favorite vodka) and a bottle of Kahlua at the duty free shops. And a “5*10 pieces” cartons of Dutch cigarillos too. I love the "Moods", no-filters. These are the tastiest things to smoke. They are a bit strong up-front, but not too much. It leaves some discrete spicy notes on the sides of your tongue after you blow the smoke. It comes perfect after a good dinner, accompanied by a snifter of some nice sipping booze. I like extra-matured rums, or any Cuban or Antiguan (Guadeloupe, Martinique, Jamaica, Saint Martin, Guyana, Reunion, …) dark-rum if you’re broke, matches well. Again, it’s the European snob talking.

Today, there’s a 15cm layer of snow on the ground. It’s a fucking chaos in the street. Cars are sliding all the way down the roads, burning their engines trying to get out of the slushy, and signalization lights are now completely useless. It seems that forecasts are not taken seriously by the Korean authorities, as they until now (almost 3pm) didn’t care the least about that snow. They did absolutely nothing. No salt, no city employee with a shovel. Zero. Deal with it by yourself. I’m pretty happy to see that my taxes are only and only used to pay prostitutes and expensive restaurants to the Province government officers and big shots officials. Korea ’h’ighting! Fortunately, I don’t drive a car here anymore. I used to have an old Ssangyong SUV, though, which could have come very handy in weather like that.

Tonight I’ll bring my friend his laptop that I fixed. I’ll also bring him a cheese that I brought back from France. He just got back from Acapulco this morning, he’s been in planes and buses for 40 hours straight, but he wanted to have a drink. What can I say? He’s my bro. We’ll probably head to our favorite bar for only a drink. This time, it’ll only be one, for real. I’m a little bit tired from the trip, so is he. I brought back a bottle of Rum for the owner. He’s always been great to us, and I don’t have a short memory.

Anyway, see you later alligators, this was a long one.

Pure Gold's Day !!!

2009-12-24T11:49:00.006+09:00

First of all: Merry Christmas Youngsters !!!

It's 7.25am, and we're finishing to pack our baggage. The flight is at 2pm, but we have a 2 hours bus ride, and we have to be at the registration desk at 2 hours prior the departure. Since it's a back-up flight, it will be most likely crowded. So we decided to leave at 9am from here, in order to be there at 11am. If we are in advance, it's ok, we'll have brunch there.

Also, I'll need to spend some time in the duty-free shops. I need to buy a box of cigars for my father's christmas, and I need to buy cigarettes for my relatives who asked me to. A carton of cigarettes is 56 euros back in the old country, so duty-free brings it down to 20 euros. Approximately the price in Korea, taxes included.

Yesterday we had Pizza (I like Etang's Super Supreme, additional black olives, dipped in Tabasco) and... French Red Wine ! I feel like I'm becoming such a pig. Pizza and wine... After then we packed some more and watch a couple of episodes of Cold Case. Before my wife came back for work, I watched "99 Francs". It came with English Subtitles. It's a very great movie, and I'd advise you to watch it.

Our flight will be a 12 hours direct flight. 12 hours flights are either a very fast trip or a very long one. I charged my old dusty NDS, and I stuffed it with Genesis and Famicom games. Oldies rock. I prepared a few homebrewing magazines, and a card deck to play poker with some random neighbours in the plane. You wouldn't believe how many people I met and even got drunk with in planes.

I have a new follower, Danielle. You should follow her diary, too.

We'll arrive in the old country at 6pm the very same day. 12 hours flight minus 8 hours time zone difference = 4 hours. After then, 1 hour to get done with the H1N1 quick check-up, the stamps on the passports, picking the baggage up, then the customs roulette. We should be hugging our family by 7pm.

Yesterday I went for a Haircut, but the lady shaved my cheeks. I was pissed off, I hate when hair-salons take care of my beard. Especially Korean hair-salons, since they have absolutely zero experience with facial hair. Korean men don't grow a single hair on their cheeks until they turn 50 or so. I had to shave my cheeks, since the damages were already done. It's not the poor lady's fault, though. It was my wife's. I repeated her twice to tell her not to touch my beard, but she was too much sucked in the Korean drama which was playing in the hair-salon. Oh well, it'll grow back in a week. Chinese barbers are pretty good with trimming beards. I used to go to the barber shop (The ones which trim your beards, not the kinky ones) whenever I needed a clean beard. When I arrived in Korea, I attempted to do the same thing. Once. Never again. A comb and my kitchen scissors are enough to do it myself.

Well, I hope you had a great Christmas Eve, and that you're enjoying your Christmas. And if you see the Grinch, shoot him.

Merry Christmas, and see you from the Old Country !!!

Truly yours,

Mister Baekseju (The One and Only)

UPDATE: We're at the airport, waiting for the plane. I'm writing from a public internet booth. I don't have much time left/100 won coins left. It's rainy and foggy, I hope there won't be any flight delay. I can't wait to take off ! Cheers to all !!

Water's Day - 수요일

2009-12-23T12:08:00.002+09:00

Today is Water's day. It might as well be my official drink of the day. I have to prepare my liver for Friday night. Friday night is going to be a hell of a dinner. My mom, dad and sister are all hyper about the fact that I'm coming for Christmas. My wife and I are hyper too.

Lately I've been given a lot of shit at work. This is not easy everyday to be the sole white butt in a Korean company. I noticed that they began to give me shit when my foreign Boss went back to his old country. Before then it was okay. Anyway, it's now becoming a lot of pressure to handle, and I've been holding that pressure for quite a long while now. My bullshit-resistant tungsten shell is not working so well anymore. The Missus and I are thinking about changing our plans. I have to ask advices to my Dad (Let's call him Mister Gin&Tonic, since he drinks as much Gin as I drink Baekseju). Mister Gin&Tonic always has good advices. Advices that I rarely follow, though. Well, we're having dinner right when we'll be off the plane on Friday, so it'll be a good opportunity. Friday will definitely embrace its Korean name: It will be Pure Gold's day.

Yesterday I sent a few resumes to Hakwon recruiters, just to see. I like to see what I'm worth on the job market. It makes me feel confident, and relaxed in case I lose my job or anything else. I chose the wrong resume picture, and attached one of my drinking nights back in Shanghai. On the shot I'm completely hammered, emptying a bottle of Sake straight up with a Mick buddy of mine. I'm dressed like a hobo, in hoodies and a cap screwed on my head. My Irish-American buddy has piercing all over his face and a sailor woolen hat. I sent that stuff to 9 fucking recruiters. Yes, Dear Readers, Mister Baekseju made a total fool of himself. My wife had good laughs about it. My wife is cool, she knows how to undramatize the situation in a snap. Plus, I'm not a native english speaker, and I have zero experience teaching. But I'm an F2 visa holder. Guess what. My phone kept ringing all morning for job offers from those recruiters, proposing me jobs to teach elementary school students. No shit. This is totally insane.

Yesterday night we went out for Chicken & Beer with the Missus. I had a 500cc pint of Cass with my fried greasy bird. I hate Cass, it tastes like sparkling liquid dust with a bit of soju poured in it. But eating chicken without beer is like a sandwich without salty butter spread on the bread, or tomato juice without vodka and celery. It's just not right. After then I went for a few 151-cola with the boys and came back home a little after midnight. Okay... 2am. The fucking technical high school students were exercising outdoors (my direct neighbor is a huge Technical High School) and they love to shout "Hana, Dul, Sae" (1,2,3) while they exercise. It looks like it was some kind of double duty, since they exercised from 6am till 8am. No need to tell you that I woke up in a very very bad mood. I'm now finishing my lunch, and I'm heading back to work with Mrs. Baekseju.

See you later alligators,

[Beer review] Hite

2009-12-21T19:30:00.005+09:00

Good evening youngsters !

Tonight, I decided to try and review the beers I've got at hand. Flint's comment sounded like a challenge to me, and I decided to accept that challenge. The principle is simple, and goes as follows:

appearance	= 20% of the final grade
smell	= 20% of the final grade
taste	= 40% of the final grade
mouthfeel	= 10% of the final grade
drinkability	= 10% of the final grade

I wanted to review a Korean beer at first, but I couldn't resolve myself drinking OB, Cass of S-Feel or the other shits. Hite is the less worse among all the Korean beer. I tried to be as fair as I could.

Hite
Hite Brewery Company LTD
Style: American Adjunct Lager
ABV: 4.50 %

Grade: F / 1.55/5
Look: 2/5 | smell: 1.5/5 | taste: 1.5/5 | Mouthfeell: 1/5 | drink: 1.5/5
Serving type: bottle

Alright, it's my first beer review, and fairly reviewing a beer of this low quality is quite a challenge, but I've tried to be as fair as I could.

Appearance - The carbonation is very high, very champagne like. The head retention is very poor, which makes me think of cola soda foam. The color is very light in the yellow-ish tones, almost transparent. The beer is crystal clear.

Smell - The smell is difficult to describe. It smells very alcoholic, and it smells like aluminium. This couldn't come from where it was conditioned, since I poured it from a glass bottle. There is a smell very far away and discrete which reminds me of a very faint earthy hop. But this is very far away.

Taste - The taste is as the smell. Very aluminum-ish, the hops are non-existent, and it's very alcoholic considering the alcohol percentage. The beer is absolutely unbalanced. The alcohol is too much overpowering.

Mouthfeel - The beer is very much over carbonated, yet watery. It's a very thinmouthfeel, yet aggressive.

Drinkability - It's definitely not appealing and I wouldn't drink another one. Definitely not. But it's cheap.

Moon's day - 월요일

2009-12-21T11:56:00.003+09:00

Today is Moon’s day. Last Saturday night was the year end ceremony of my company. It seems that most of the foreign owned companies held their year end ceremonies on the same night, since all the other dining rooms were booked by other foreign companies for the same reasons.

It was boring. I had nice food and nice wines, though. We had a long conference/brainwash about how great our company is and another one before then which was about how great Korea is. We ate, had some lousy entertainer trying to keep the atmosphere warm. I drank lots of red wine. I then came back home before midnight.

On Saturday morning I had my usual breakfast, which consists in a bowl of chocolate powder mixed in milk and topped with coco-balls. I like the cheap unbranded Korean coco-balls. After then we went to the DMV so we could renew our international driving licenses. That was a very long trip, since I had to go to a very far away city. We came back around 1pm, and had lunch. I had what we call with my wife “ Korean Fridge Food” in Korean (냉장한식). It basically consists in cooking a Bokompap (fried rice with vegetables and whatever is in your fridge) or in a Jjigae (soup made of vegetables, meats or whatever is in your fridge). I had it with my mom-in-law’s Kimjang Kimchi. Most of you know how heavenly my mom-in-law’s Kimjang Kimchi is. In the afternoon I had to go to my friend’s home for the homebrew meeting. We were expecting 10 people, and most of them cancelled. So we ended up being 4. We started drinking at 3pm, and finished quite hammered at midnight or so. We cooked ourselves some Australian beef on the pan and dipped it in salt, it was great.

One of the guys and I live in a city nearby, so we shared a taxi. I had to drop him in his “Dong” (district) before to head to my place (10 or 15 kilometers far) He lives in the nightclubs and bars area. When he opened the door to get out of the taxi, my bestfriend from here was on the sidewalk waiting to cross the street. I was so stunned by the coincidence, that I went to have a drink with him and two other friends. Inside the bar, we played darts, I ended up second, as usual. Some Korean guy behind us was making fun of the fact that we spoke English, and repeated what we were saying like a 6 years old midget. I lost my temper (I was hammered), and confronted the guy in question. I think he pissed in his pants, because it smelled like piss after then. He became whiter than my white butt. I politely asked him to get out of the bar with me so we could settle it like men. That if he wanted to make fun of me, he’d have to accept the consequences. He apologized like a 5 years old little girl caught red handed stealing a Barbie doll, and he left right after looking at the floor the whole way. Fag. It seems a national sport among the average Korean men to not have enough balls to accept the consequences of their misbehaviors. I was really hoping to break his fucking nose and arches on the sidewalk. His friends even paid me a drink to calm me down. I had a Crank&Cola (151-coke) on their tab, and I thanked those gentlemen who really had manners. God bless them.

After then we went to a nightclub down the street and had a few drinks. I was in the mood for cheap whiskey, so I had a few Jack&Coke. Jack is probably the only cheap-ass alcohol that I’ve seen sold 8 times its Western’s real value in Korea. After a while, we decided to leave, so we picked some chicks there for my friends. I’m a loyal man, I’ve never cheated, I don’t cheat and I’ll never cheat. And God knows how many opportunities I have and had. Anyway, we picked a bunch of girls there and headed to another place. Every bar was closed, it was already 4am, so we went to a Soju/Anju place and ordered soju. I usually don’t do Soju, since I don’t drink alcohols mixed with chemicals and distilled from rotten vegetables. Well, I sometimes drink Soju with my in-laws. So my friend ordered a bottle of whiskey for me. He was in a generous mind. We drank like pigs, and then decided to go back home. When I arrived home, the Sun was rising. When I opened the door, my wife was going to take a piss. She looked at the clock, looked at me, looked at the clock, looked at me, and went to take a piss. She made me shampoo my beard and brush my teeth before to go to bed, since I smelled like a drunk ashtray.

I woke up at noon with a drilling headache. It strangely went away in less than an hour. I went to buy 4 bottles of Peach Ice Tea, and one of Kyul Juice (very small mandarins) at the Quicky-Mart and brought the Kyul Juice to my friend whom I partied with. (He lives on the same block). I reached in my back-pocket and found a women’s leather belt. (!!!) I have absolutely no fucking clue how it ended up there, and we had a good laugh about it. I went back home and I ordered myself some Haejangguk for brunch. It’s supposed to cure the hangover, and it seemed to have worked pretty well. I then slacked on WoW most of the afternoon. We then went out to buy my phone charger’s adapter, (the tiny bits) since I had forgotten it at my friend’s place. I grabbed myself some MacDonald to go. When I’m hung-over, my stomach will only accept junk-food. I had a “Mac Bacon Tomato Deluxe”, a “Mac Chicken”, large fries, large coke (no ice, it makes me fart). I finished everything in less time it takes to my dog to clean her plate. We then watched a few tv-series with the wife. The one of the moment is “Cold-Case”. It’s alright, but I preferred CSI and NCIS. We watched all the episodes of all the CSIs (Las Vegas, Miami, NYC) and all the NCISs. So there isn’t really much choice left among the forensic and murder investigations stuffs. If you guys have any good suggestion, please let us know. I also finished Criminal Minds.

Today is Moon’s day, and it’s the beginning of the week. My week finishes on Thursday night, and I’m flying to the old country on Friday. Friday will truly deserve its Korean title. “Gold’s day”. I can’t wait to have great food, great alcohols, and spend time with my family. Only one week surely won’t be enough, because I have tons of people to visit. Anyway, I’m off for lunch.

See you later alligators,

Gold’s day – 금요일

2009-12-18T11:56:00.006+09:00

Today is Gold’s day. Usually, Gold’s day honors its appellation, since it’s an open door toward the week-end. But not today. Tonight, Mister Baekseju has his company’s year end party. For me it feels like overtime work, nothing more. I don’t fancy getting drunk with my coworkers. Unlike my kilt-wearing virtual friend, it’s a part of Korean culture that I’m not ready to embrace. Anyway, the party is held in my city this time. So I can go back home after that tonight. The last parties were held in the middle of nowhere, and we had to sleep there. I like my Friday nights with my wife. Sitting on the floor my butt warmed by the Ondol, watching movies or tv-series, having baekseju with my dinner, having a pistachio ice-cream for dessert. That's a real Friday night.

Yesterday night, I went to buy myself a cheap bottle of Merlot, but they didn’t have any left. So I bought some Cabernet. In those cheap quality ranges, both swills taste the exact same. When I gave my 5 bucks to the depressed part-time cashier, she grabbed something from under the counter and handed it over to me like if it were some holy secret reward, and winked at me like if she wanted me to keep the secret. I looked at it, and it was a Quicky-Mart membership card! There’s a big disappointment, though, alcohol and cigarettes purchases won’t generate points on this card. Well, as KRD reminded me, I do buy loads of Pistachio Ice Creams there. And the fake chemical cheese Nachos too. She’s seen me so often that I guess she thought that even though I’m a white Devil, I deserved to become part of the Quicky-Mart’s secret society. I’m sure she sees me more often that her own mother.

The Lady wanted to watch a Korean show, so I launched a movie on my computer. I watched “Kalifornia”, with Brad Pitt and David Duchovny. Brad Pitt is one of my favorite actors, he can literally play ANY role. He’s so good that he completely becomes the role he’s playing. In Snatch, he’s speaking and acting exactly like Angelo, my gipsy friend back in Europe. In Kalifornia, he speaks and acts exactly like a few people I met back when I was living in the Midwest of the US. When he speaks, it truly feels like if he were just fresh off a trailer park. In Fight Club, he just becomes Chuck Palahniuk’s Tyler Durden. He’s that fucking good. I don’t like David Duchovny, but I must admit that he did an okay job in the movie. The dude is talented for his own field, but absolutely not for the borderline movies I like to watch. He’s too much the hushpuppy type. He always looks the same, he never evolves, changes, nor adapts to the roles he plays. The roles adapt to him. Brad Pitt’s complete opposite. Anyway, who the fuck am I to judge an actor performance? The movie was good anyway.

After the movie, I went out for a drink with the Finnish boys. They are exchange students at the nearby university. My Northern-Irish friend tagged along, soon followed by half of Europe. It was a sad drinking night, since it’s the end of their semester. They are going back to their home-countries on Sunday morning. It went so fast. I had two pints of Cass (they’re students, so they’re on the cheap) and I had Gin&Tonic. I behaved, since I’m no exchange student, and that I, have to show up at work at nine in the morning, hung-over or not. I like those guys, they could be my little brothers. I hope they’ll do their last semester here, as it’s what they wish for. But they’d need shitloads of money from their parents I guess. I never asked a dime to my parents in any aspect, so I don’t know how it’s like. I always chose the hard way over the easy one. I just love challenges. Maybe some wicked complex which pushes me to constantly prove my father that I can succeed by myself like he did. Yeah, most probably. This will sound cheesy, but my Dad is my hero.

Tomorrow evening we’ve got our homebrew meeting with the boys from the club. We hold one every three months. The last one was in Yongsan’s American Navy Military base. We had some fucking insane IPA’s, it was heavenly. This time, we’ll just chill at our founder’s apart-uh and probably empty a keg of homebrew. Major Yankee beer brands usually suck ass, but the microbrews are actually great. It reminds me that I once took the “Budweiser Saint Louis Brewery” tour, back when I was living there. I had a pumpkin ale they made just for Halloween and served on tap only for the people who took the tour. It was nice. I don’t understand why their main worldwide product is major shitty crap. I mean, they’ve got some mean potential. I don’t get how a beer brewed with a major amount of rice in the grain bill and that is over-carbonated can be called a beer. It can’t, it should be called a crime. But again, Yankees seem to love that shit. I guess they just want to please their consumers in order to loot tons of bucks. Understandable, heh. See, I’m a brewer who follows the Reinheitsgebot to the letter. A beer should only be constituted of Malts, Hops, Water and Yeast. No adjuncts, no rice, no corn, no sugar, no other shits. Keep it pure. But this is the snobby European wanker which sleeps inside me speaking again.

When we will go back to the old country, I’ll transform my parent’s basement into a bar/brewery. I’ve got the whole blueprints in my head. My dad’s latest occupation is construction freelancer, I’m sure it’ll help a lot. My Dad is surfing on the economical crash. He has this incredible faculty to adapt to life. He was born in the ghettos of my country, and grew up digging graves as a part time job. No shit. When I was born, he decided to roll up his sleeves and get us out of the slum I was born in. He worked his ass off to get us out of there and we then became upper-middle-class people. Until six months ago he was a successful business man running his own business and employing 50 employees average. His mornings were business appointments, and his afternoons golfing. Super great life. Then the crisis severely hit the activity of his business, and his competitors were severely hit too. He had to close down the company, most of his competitors as well. The morning after, he became a construction worker, self-employed. Switching from Italian suits to blue collar, hurting his hands at work, and have sore muscles in the morning, he didn’t give a shit. His main preoccupation is to make his family happy. Even though he’s a construction worker, he makes quite a good living. His competitors and friends are still sitting on their unemployed asses, in their smoky bedrooms wearing sweaty clothes, complaining about how unfair the economical crash is. My father is building houses and digging swimming pools. You now understand why my father is my hero.

Speaking about family, my Dad and Antonio (his Portuguese assistant) almost finished renovating my wife and I’s house. I had Antonio on the phone yesterday, he told me: 'ur housh ish very koshy, I lakit very mooch". Which means in Portuglish that he likes my house. Thank you Antonio. They need to hold the installation of the fireplace for a while, because my Dad needs to do more construction works to have enough money to regain wealth. We’ll be able to live there during the Christmas holidays. I think that he wants to convince us that we should cancel our return ticket to Korea. My sister sent me a picture of the outside of the house, but she wants to keep the inside a surprise for next week. Check the picture at the end of the article. You can see my parents’ house behind ours. Kick-ass, isn’t it? I can already picture ourselves growing our herbs de provence, our vegetables and all… Oh yes… I’m a lucky bastard.

Yesterday I received several nice comments from (new?) readers. I’d like to thank you all for the kind messages. Scott asked me how many languages I speak, and how I did it. I speak 3 European languages more or less fluently (my native language and English included). I learned them at school, since in my home-country it’s mandatory to start learning 2 foreign languages when you turn 12 years old. I speak enough Chinese to get by everyday in China, hold a conversation, express myself, and find my directions. Well, the full kit. Though, I’m lost when it gets technical. I can only read 40 Chinese characters or though. I’ve learned everything in the streets of China, and from Chinese taxi drivers. Hence the fact I learned quite a bit of Shanghai Dialect on the side. I even know how to say the ultimate insult in Shanghai Dialect, which came quite handy in a bar brawl I was involved in. I understand Korean, can read the stuff, express myself like a 4 years old Korean kid. I studied Saturday morning classes during 5 months, in a fancy Korean Hakwon in Kangnam. This didn’t help much, though, since I learned most of it from my wife, my coworkers, my cellphone’s translator, my in-laws, friends, etc… I also can understand 2 more European languages, since they’re very very similar to my native language, but I can’t speak any of it. I’m not showing off, I’m just answering Scott’s question. Truth is: languages, history-geography and business were the only subjects I wasn’t a dick at, at school. Maybe we aren’t made equal after all. Maybe some people’s brains are more inclined to scientific stuffs, while others are more open to languages? While I was a straight A student in those subjects, I was a straight D- student in Mathematics, in Physics, in Chemistry, in Biology, in Arts, … When you made the average of those A’s and D’s, it was precisely the average I needed in order to get to the next scholar year. The pain ended with the High school diploma, when I went to college. After then, I didn’t have to study those subjects, but only the subjects I was good at. Lucky me.

Thanks you BwadMon for the kind holiday wishes. I’m looking forward to reading some more of your comments in the future. I’m sorry for your mom Flint, that’s also kind of why I refused the offer for these tests. I’m not that old, and I don’t really need it. Why the fuck would I want to get a tube stuffed up my ass, and especially risk getting my organs perforated? Seriously? Did she get the examination here in Korea?

I hope for you all that your Friday night will be more exciting than mine,

See you later alligators,

Wood’s day - 목요일

2009-12-17T12:26:00.008+09:00

It's Wood's day. I'm on my lunch break. I went to the Kookmin Konkang Boheomkongtan in order to get my health complete check-up. Don't get me wrong, it's not the same thing that you all E-1to5 visas have to get through. Mine is different, I have a Korean social security card, a Korean retirement pension, and I pay Korean rate taxes. So, once a year, I do as all Korean do, I'm heading to the big government test center a few kilometers away from my home. I understand Korean almost perfectly, but I'm not good enough to express myself in Korean. Anyway, today a dude came to me at the entrance of the hospital: "Mister [insert here a family name that you can't pronounce] ?

The guy spoke some correct English, and escorted me through every single step of the 15 first of the 35 tests I had to do. He was probably searching for a free English conversation, and must have been disappointed when I told him that I wasn't a native english speaker later on. Some of the machines looked like torture ones. Scary shit sometimes. I had to pee in a cup, give away lots of blood, read letters from 10 meters far, get into a machine which calculates my height, weight and muscles; get an MRI, tons of other pictures of my lungs, stomach, and all the other internal organs, and all kinds of shits. I even had to get my eyes blood-pressure checked. I didn't even know that it existed. Well, it's always cool to go to the center, coz they receive one foreigner every century. So everytime, the nurses are all hyper on me "Ajjushi sooo handsooooome, and bely good at Kolian, ooohhhh oh oh". It's good to be fucking spoiled and to get the priority for the tests. I noticed that here, in Korea, as a foreigner, if you're cool with the elderly, you get fucking spoiled. I politely declined step 36 which was involving a probe stuffed up my ass, and step 37 which involved a camera stuffed down my throat. It's ok, I know what I had for dinner yesterday, and I don't need pictures of half digested pizza and tabasco, thank you.

So, yes, yesterday night I had Pizza and Tabasco for dinner. I like Pizza Etang's Super Supreme (+additional black olives), dipped in some of the real Tabasco I found at my convenient store. It was junkfood night. Most of you know that I need my weekly fix of Junkfood. I had one half-pint of homebrew before and another one after my dinner (Tabasco would have fucked its taste up). I then went out for 2 beers with the guys. I drink Red-Dog, coz I'm a cheap motherfucker, but a cheap motherfucker whom respects himself a little, so he doesn’t drink Hite, Cass, O.B. Max or other Korean shit-ass “beers”. Well, this is not very true, when I am in the countryside; I sometimes drink the Korean “Stout” which is just a dark shit-ass Hite and not a Stout at all. I think that the Korean stout and the Hite are the less worse among Korean beers. The golden trophy of the worse of the worse is definitely for O.B. So, I had only two beers, coz as you’re aware, it’s the reproduction season in Mister’s Baekseju’s home. I’ve got to keep my body clean of any alcohol in order to get my little soldiers as strong as they can be.

I’ve noticed that I mention the Convenient-store (or convenience store, whatever) a lot in my posts. It seems that this holy place is one of the highlights of my miserable expatriate adventures. I play poker there with my niece’s engrishee teacher or other buddies while drinking Baekseju, I buy myself some Merlot for 7500won from there, I buy my packs of Yankee-Light there, so I can smoke when I go out drinking, I buy my Samgak Kimbap there... Well, starting from now, I’ll call it the “Quicky-Mart”, since it’s how I refer to it in real life anyway. Except that my Quicky-Mart is not run by an Indian guy named Apu, but by part-time depressed Korean university students.My stomach is still shaky from all the chalky fizzy stuffs I had to drink for the x-rays and other internal organs pictures.

Today is Wood’s day, and as most of you know, everything is pretty quiet here on Wood’s day. This morning I’ve received a crazy amount of visitors from all over the world. This is some seriously scary shit. Most of the time I receive my usual 30 ip’s from Korea, half a dozen from the US and Canada, 1 or 2 from Australia, 1 or 2 from Asia, 3 or 4 from Europe, and 1 or 2 more from some random countries I didn’t even know existed. But today these numbers literally exploded. I think it’s due to the fact that Asmith pimped my blog on his. This visitors tsunami is just temporary, though. When they’ll all figure that they were sent to and trapped in a lousy shit-hole, they’ll leave this place as fast as they arrived. And it’s fine by me. I don’t need traffic anyway. I just need loyal readers who enjoy reading my bullshit. This way, I can enjoy their comments and also read and comment on their blogs too when I eat my breakfast or slack on the computer. I’m the kind of guy who prefers to have only 5 good friends rather than 1000 acquaintances. Call me an asocial if you wish. So, dear tsunami of new visitors, I encourage you to post in comments, so I can get your blog address and have something more to read during my breakfast.

Today, I decided to push forward my dumb talks, and I created a “Teddy Bear” award for my followers. The principle is simple: You often comment on my bullshit, you then become a “Knight of the Teddy-Bear Legion”. Remember that nothing is acquired in life. So if you stop to comment on my bullshit for a long while, you will get your Teddy-Bear award savagely taken back from your jacket. If you wish to become a permanent “Knight of the Teddy-Bear Legion”, you have to get plastered with Mister Baekseju at least once. This will grant you the award for life, and you already know what the drink of choice is. Maybe we’ll be lucky enough to make the first page of Black-out Korea. But that’d be day-dreaming.

A couple of days ago, I discovered a cool diary from a Canadian guy living in Korea. Him and I have that big “stay or leave” dilemma mostly caused by our holy father figure. It’s actually the first time I read an actual “diary” of someone living in Korea, other than mine and Asmith’s of course. He’s going to Shanghai during the holidays. I think he should know that Shanghai is like my second hometown. That’s right youngsters, Mister Baekseju spent almost a year and a half wandering the shady dirty smelly streets of Shanghai. I speak Chinese Mandarin, and I even can speak some Shanghai dialect, which is fancy but absolutely useless once you’re 30 seconds out of Shanghai’s frontiers. I was so much integrated in this disturbing impolite dirty shitty smelly cheap environment, that the Shanghaineses considered me as one of their own. I even had a real Chinese name on my Shanghainese Alien ID card, and not the usual English ones like others had. Other didn’t even have an Alien card. The other foreigners pointed fingers at me with admiration, calling me “The White Shanghainese”. Well, this was a long time ago, even before I met my wife, and before Korea turned me into an office slave. Anyway, the guy’s name is Adam. I’m his proud first follower, and I would like you all to be the next ones. He deserves some more readers. We’re aren’t that many to hold useless public diaries about our expatriate Korean adventures, so please let us feel special for an short while http://koreanlostweekend.blogspot.com/

Aaaaah, you tricky youngsters somehow managed to bring me back in my young years’ memories… Thank you. As usual, I wrote a huge article about absolutely nothing. I’m very skilled at that, I suppose. Tomorrow night is our company’s year end party. As I already said, I’m not especially a big fan of partying with my coworkers. I like my Friday nights at home with the wife, watching tv-series together, drinking dinner with Baekseju, and having a Quicky-mart’s pistachio ice-cream cone for dessert. I’m a simple guy who loves simple things.

Tonight I have to work on leveling my MMORPG’s character a little. Sunday, the Lady will obviously have her weekly fix of Korean dramas, and I want to be able to up lvl55 on that day (I’m currently 46 or 47), so I can finally begin a Death-Knight. One of my friends also plays WoW when his wife is stuck on Korean dramas; and he told me this is a fun character to play, but he plays on the US servers, I play on the European ones. He is the one whom introduced me to that game, we spoke about it when we were playing cards at the Quicky-Mart one day. I don’t know anything about that game, I’m just a lonely player completely surpassed by all those technical stuffs. But so far, I enjoy it, even though past 1 hour of playing it, I’m bored of it and I stop. So I have big hopes in this death-knight, he’ll hopefully keep me company when my wife scotches on Korean dramas on Sundays. My favorite game is Super Mario 3 on the first Famicom/NES, it’s to say. Oh, I also like Final Fantasy 8 on the old Playstation 1.

Anyway, it’s time for me to let you go.

See you later alligators,

Water’s day – 수요일

2009-12-16T14:52:00.002+09:00

Today is Water’s day. Yesterday night the lady (mine is not a Dragon) came back home a little bit late due to a tough day of work. We did our best to procreate, as planned. It was so passionate and apparently so exhausting that she fell asleep 20 minutes later. Fine by me, I’m not much of a talker. I will spare you the details, but it’s always great with her.

I then went to the convenient store to buy myself some wine. I found a decent Merlot for 7.500won (~5.5 dollars/~4 euros). I brought it back home, and I launched Fight Club in HD, DST 5.1, in its original version. I must have read the book a hundred times, and watched the movie a thousand times. But it’s by far one of the greatest movies in the history. You’ve got to admit that Fight Club has the best recipe ever. Chuck Palahniuk’s scenario + Brad Pitt as a co-lead + Edward Norton as a lead + David Fincher as a producer = a fucking great movie. The best cocktail for a movie. By the moment good old Bitch-tits-Bob died (he’s one of my favorites in the movie), I had finished the bottle of Merlot. It wasn’t a great wine, but it felt good.

I’d have preferred a Cataluñan “Sangré del Toro” or a Burgundy red. But of course, we’re in Korea, and I can’t afford the crazy overpriced bottles that they sell at Lotte Mart, Emart and other Homeplus Tescos. I don’t understand why wines are so expensive here. The importation taxes on European wines are about 4 or 5% of the value of the bottle. The transportation costs aren’t that high (I know this for a fact, since it’s my fucking job to import stuffs from Europe). I mean, a bottle of Sangre del Toro fresh off the Spanish Pyrenees costs what… 2 or 3 euros VAT excluded? If you buy it from the producer, it should be that much or even less. Add to that 1 euro or so of transportation per bottle (let’s estimate it very large), let’s say 4.5 euros? Then 0.1euro for the taxes, we’re not even reaching 4.6 euros. Convert that to Korean won, it gives you 7.820won. Why the fuck do they sell it 35.000won or so? This is fucking ridiculous. I understand that they need a margin on their products, but that’s way over-exaggerated for a wine of that level.

That and the fact that Koreans don’t know shit about wines. I mean, I’m not a connoisseur at all, but it’s quite easy to discern crap from good stuffs. I’m quite stunned every time I see a middle-ages Korean tasting some wine at the Emart wine department and finding it so good that they buy 3 bottles of it, watching at me with disdain. Like if they were thinking “Ah ah, look at me, yoolop-nom devil, I have enough money to afford a wine from the West ! It makes me so much fancier.” It most of times is a crappy wine and/or one with adjuncts and shit, and/or it tastes like Podoju. Or they are low grade rejects bottled with fancy labels such as “Ba-len-ta-een-juh-day-ee Why-ee-nuh” (“Valentine’s day” in Konglish) and sold for like 10 bucks a bottle. Thing is, no matter what the quality of this wine is, they will either drink it in shots, or drink it in an over-warm inappropriate glass, that they will not even hold by the glass tail, (meaning that the heat of their hands will completely fuck the wine up) while eating spicy stuffs… Hurts me just to think about the waste. Maybe the Kimchi and the spicy food damaged their taste-buds? Maybe I’m just being a fucking European snobby piece of shit? Yeah, I think it’s probably half of both.

This morning I wasn’t even hung-over, I even woke up like a sunflower all cheerful and shit. That’s what you get for drinking European wine. I skipped breakfast, and I read my emails and the new blog articles of my virtual K-Blogger buddies. I already told you, but there’s a new guy in town, called Flint, and I like the stuffs he writes. Even though I don’t really agree with his pink and ideal ideas about how good the ESL community is, and how much Korean people seem to do their best to illegitimately denigrate them; he does have very interesting insights and adventures. He must, like I do, have a close bunch of good friends, and not see the other weirdos, potheads, assholes and uneducated racist twats that totalize a good half of the ESL community. Him and I share that passion to rub their uneducated swinish acts all over rude and uneducated Korean peoples’ faces, while smiling at them. Like fucking pigs trying to dump their garbage in his scooter’s basket for example. Plus, he is one of the only ones to comment on my articles. Moreover, with super interesting comments. If I could, I’d offer him a gold medal (or a little Teddy Bear) next to his nickname, for when he posts on my blog, but I can’t seem to find the function. I hope he’ll keep commenting even though he doesn’t get the treat. Consider yourself Teddy Bear-ed, Flint.

Today is freezing. It’s -9 degrees Celsius. For you all my Yankee readers who didn’t major or minor in Chemistry, just keep in mind that it’d freeze your balls instantly after you open the door. These kinds of temperatures remind me that Siberia is just behind North Korea. That’s not that far at all. During lunch time I went to the post office to send a parcel to my family. I included tons of stuffs for my sister. I’m an over-protective big brother whom loves his little sister. Unfortunately, 4 years abroad kinda held me back of watching her grow, and she likes to make me feel guilty about that every single week.

On Saturday morning, ehm, I mean Earth’s day, I’ll have to go to the DMV in order to renew my international driving license. Yes, I currently have a Korean driving license, so I need an international license in order to drive in my home-country next week and the one after that. It’s ridiculous, but at least if I get pictured speeding, they won’t be able to remove points off my license. Because they have no jurisdiction over Korean driving license points’ system. I’ll just have to pay the fine. Isn’t that wonderful? I could just change my Korean driving license back to the European one if I wanted to, but no, I don’t want. I will probably be hung-over from the night before, since we have our company’s year end-party… I’m not really looking forward to it. Partying with work people is not my cup of green-tea. On Earth’s day night, we have a homebrew meeting at my friend’s apartment. This will be a very very tough week-end…

Reminds me that I have to go for my hospital examination tomorrow. You won’t believe me, but on the file I had to fill before to go there, there was the following question (written in Korean):

8- How many bottles of Soju do your drink each night?
A\ none
B\ one or less
C\ two
D\ more
*Comments:……………………

No shit. I answered A\, and written in comments: “Men who respect themselves drink Baekseju”.

See you later alligators,

Fire’s day – 화요일

2009-12-15T17:46:00.000+09:00

Today is Fire’s day. I haven’t published my habitual early post. This morning my team manager told me that some other employees from another team complained because one of my team-mates and I are sometimes surfing on the internet. What a bunch of hypocritical big-mouths. Everytime I go to pour myself an espresso, I surprise those ajjumas slacking on their daum-cafes and other cyworlds shits. You know what, it didn’t make me angry at all, it even made me smile. My team manager was sorry about the situation, and asked me if it was okay to restrict the internet access for narrow functions in the whole company. He kinda told me that it’s due to their PMS, and that I should not take it personally. I of course accepted, since it’ll piss those girls more than me. I really don’t mind. What a bunch of naughty ajjumas. But I’m a naughty ajjushi too, so they’ll get back the boomerang they threw at me… in their teeth.

Anyway, I found myself a new occupation for when I have nothing to do during the working hours. I’m writing a short “book”. A kind of lousy autobiography written in my native language. It helps me to not forget how to speak and write it, and it helps me laying down stuff about myself. I lost a lot of my mother tongue over the past 5 years. I’m even stuttering when I speak it on the phone with my parents, and sometimes I use English words instead of my native language ones. It’s dumb. I’m stuck between two languages that I don’t master correctly. Pitiful.

One hour is separating me from my 퇴근 (end of working day). I’m a 9 to 6er. I’m sure most of you who live in Korea, forgot what it is to really work (boom, 10.000 epik teachers turned into enemies.) But I’m lucky, I don’t work on Saturdays, and I have 14 days of holidays a year. And a yearly bonus, and a real actual social security, and a real pension, and a yearly free-ticket to get a probe stuffed up my ass to check if I haven’t got any cancer. Aw, and also a free flight ticket home every year. But until now, I haven’t been refunded of the voucher I filled 6 months ago for my flight next week, so I think that I might get screwed.

I’m craving for wine tonight. I might stop at the convenient store and buy myself a bottle of whatever is drinkable and cheap. Maybe a 미국Red Cabernet. I think I’ve seen a bottle of it for about 10.000won last time. But I won’t be able to drink it until the boss comes back. Today is babies-making day, it’s the eggs peak, so I have to be at my best, so do my little soldiers. I’ll take my wine night after we’ll have done our best to procreate. This is the last month we try. It’s been a few months she’s been on those hormones pills shits, and it’s turning her totally crazy lately. And it’s turning me crazy too, to be obliged to hold my love impulses and make love on precise days, instead of when we feel like it. I’m not a grandpa for God’s sake. We decided to take a 2 months break after that. I think it’s wise. And if something must happen, it’ll happen. If not, it’s planned to not happen anyway. For that, I can’t wait to go back for good in the old country. I’ll have to find a job, though, and the job market back there is absolutely not helpful. I’m sure once we’ll have settled for good there, the psychological barrier she’s got in her mind will collapse and that she’ll get pregnant as soon as I finish setting the carpet front of the door. Being between two chapters is quite stressful, and doesn’t help us to go on with things. I’m super lucky, though, coz we already have a place to live in the old country, that’s taking a rent off the bill of stuffs we’ll have to pay each month. Plus, it’s on the same land that my parents’ house. We just need to cross the kitchen-garden to have the aperitif all together with my family before dinner, or squat my parent’s house on Sundays for lunch. That’s really bad-ass.

Well, 10mn to go,

See you later alligators,

2000 hits?!!

2009-12-14T11:32:00.005+09:00

Dear Readers,

This is an open letter to you all. I just wanted to tell you how stunned I am by the proportions this diary took.

I mean, I have regular readers from Canada, the US, Korea of course, Australia and Germany. I also sometimes receive visitors from Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Nepal, Russia... well, several other random countries over the world.

In a 2 months time period, Over 800 IP's accessed my blog, and about 2000 hits were generated on the blog. That's a lot of computers. I do know that about 10% of them are just bots and all., but it's still a lot of people reading that pile of crap. It's about 14 additional persons reading the stuff every day.

Point is: I really wonder what makes you read it? Are you a lonely human wandering on the web? Are you an expat living in Korea, also relying on the shit? Or are these 800 IP's only my family members' ? Are you crazy? I just wonder. And I would like to hear from you.

Take care !

Moon’s Day – 월요일

2009-12-14T11:02:00.003+09:00

As I already told you on Saturday, I mean Earth’s day, we went to our cousin’s weddings. I was right, it was very short. I really enjoyed spending time with my in-laws. See, many white butts here, don’t like their Korean in-laws. It’s not my case. My family in-law is absolutely exceptional. I love them. I’m not saying that everything is pink and sunny all the time, that, would be lying. We’ve been through hard times, especially in the beginning, when my father in-law kind of refused me. My wife took him apart, shook him up and yelled at him for 4 solid hours a few years back, while I was smoking ultra-light cigarettes with my brothers in-law in the bathroom. Since that day, my father in-law is the sweetest ajjushi on this planet, and he treats me as his sons.

My wife is jealous, because her folks prefer me over her and show me more love and affection. My mom-in-law, my dad-in-law, my aunts-in-law, my uncles-in-law, my nephews and nieces, my bros and sis-in-law, all of them hug me when we meet, speak to me in actual respectful Korean (not like if they were speaking to some waegookin midget with understanding problems), feed me with great food and great booze. They are freaking great. Well, enough showing off with my in-laws, point is, we had a great (55 minutes) time with everyone. I still managed to get drunk in that short time period with my father-in-law’s youngest brother’s wife and daughters. Which was cool, since I fell asleep right away when we boarded the bus to go back in our big city with my sister in law and two of my lovely nephew and niece. It was a 1 hour and a half ride due to traffic-jam, which I didn’t even see going. Ahhh, the joys of Somaek… (soju mixed with beer)

I had a Loyal Tomaytoh Deeluxe-uh and a MaekChickin burger for dinner that night. I need my weekly fix of junk-food. Junk-food is nasty, but I need to have it one dinner in the week to make me feel complete. Junk-food is important for an healthy mind. I had a big cola (no ice) with it.

And it was great. I love the nasty soft fries they provide with it. They are so drown in salt and grease that it make my taste-buds burn every time I have one. Well, and I’m not even American, and my organism digests it and transform it in good proteins. No shit, I haven’t got a single ounce of fat on my body.

On Sunday we relaxed at home, which means that my wife had her weekly overdose of Korean dramas, and that I had to play my favorite MMORPG meanwhile to not get bored to death. I play World of Warcraft. I’m a Troll, Hunter and I’m only lvl45 yet (over a total of 80 lvls). As soon as I up lvl55, I will reroll an Undead Death-Knight that I will name Baekseju. I don't completely understand what's happening in that game. I must be too old for that stuff. I'm kind of an outcast in the game. Everyone has over-great stuffs and items, everyone is lvl80 and speaks with strange technical words, everyone is part of a great roxxor guild organizing punitive expeditions against the Humans. I'm just a lonely dude, sole member of a guild called "The Beers Drinkers", I'm gaining experience lower than a snail, I've got regular stuffs, and I play when it's night-time in Europe due to the time zone difference. I feel like I’m such a geek. But a guy has to do what he’s got to do when it comes to not die from boredom. I’m sure you won’t judge me. Will you?

On Sun’s day afternoon my niece’s Engrish-ee teacher called me out for a poker and beers at Family Mart. I won, as usual. But he’s a good player, and he is very good at confusing me. I know he will smile when he’ll read that line. Then another friend tagged along and we went for a beer at the ajjushi bar next to our place. Then we went to Booze street for a few drinks, the three of us (the Boss allowed me to go out until 11pm, not a minute more). We played pool, and I lost as usual. We then played darts, and I finished second, as usual. We drank 151-cokes (a.k.a. Crank& cola) and Gin&Tonics. We started with a pint of draught Hoegaarden. Yes dear reader, DRAUGHT Hoegaarden in Korea. Me too, my legs shook so much the first time I discovered the bar which serves it. We then went for a kind of rollercoaster simulator with my friend, and I must say that completely drunk it was super fun. Anyway, I made it home at exactly 11pm. My wife was happy. I’m working hard on making her happy lately. I hope she notices.

Today is Moon’s day, and all I can see is 5 days separating me from the week-end. 11 days remaining ‘till our Christmas/New year’s eve in the old country. It’s been more than 2 years since we’ve last stepped foot in the old country with my wife. My little sister is writing the countdown everyday on my and hers facebook wall. Isn’t that cute? I asked my wife to fry me some cheese Tongkass for lunch. I love the stuff. That followed by miso soup treats me well.

See you later alligators,

Earth's Day - 토요일

2009-12-12T08:55:00.003+09:00

Today is Earth's day.

I feel so much better. I had a 3 hours nap yesterday night, which pissed my wife off. We then watched a couple of episodes of Cold Case, talked in the bed about how I should calm down on drinking, and I fell asleep again.

I just woke up, I had my traditional chocolate milk and coco-balls breakfast. This morning at 5am someone yelling woke me up, I opened the window of the bedroom to see a couple in a fight. I yelled at them in Korean to begin to respect other people and get the fuck away. The guy (in a shiny cheap suit) answered "Am bely soly" and they got the fuck away. My wife, for once, was very happy of my intervention, and told me that Korean people who don't heir from Jeolla province are rude. (Meaning 80% of Korea.) And I kinda agree with it. One would think that countrymen don't have manners, but well. People from Jeolla are way cool once you've broken the first cultural barriers. Most them have that power to discern Korean Bullshit from Korean Traditions. Which is a big work on oneself, here in Korea. Maybe because countrymen don't have time to give a shit about bullshit, which is not the case of Kyeonggi inhabitants.

If I stay here longer than another year, I want to move to the coasts of Jeollanam. But my wife doesn't want. She was born there, and then moved to Seoul when she was a few years old and pretty much lived there all her life. She told me that she needs a very big city not far. I feel like I'm in the opposite situation of our Yankee-nom friend. I'm dreaming of a house in the countryside, growing my vegetables and my hops, going fishing on week-ends, playing soccer with my kids in the backyard, making my moonshine in the small cabin in the end of the garden, practicing my Karate-Katas in the garden at dawn. Anyway I don't care. Anywhere with my wife, and our future babies sounds fine for me. I'm not picky.

Today is my wife's cousin wedding ceremony. We've soon got to run to the Big city with my sister in law and my three lovely nephew and nieces. Korean weddings are so... weird. You just get there, assist to a 20mn long ceremony, rush to the buffet or restaurants, give the allowance to the married couple, eat and drink in 25 minutes time and you go back home. When I think about the fact that in my country you party for more or less 2 days non stop, it kind of shocks me. Well. Shower time. I gotta run.

See you later alligators,

Gold’s day – 금요일

2009-12-11T11:52:00.001+09:00

I’m struggling to write this very first phrase. Yesterday night was “boys’ night” as you know. We went for lamb brochettes in the shady creepy back streets of Booze Street. It was fun. We had a little bit of freaking incredible Scotch Whiskey that our friend brought there. Tasty stuff. Then the usual flowed. Baekseju, beers and all. When I begin to drink Baekseju off the bottle, it’s a bad sign. We ended up in a bar drinking Gin&tonic, jaegermeister shots (or however it’s spelled), 151-cola, or whatever else.

I think that the whatever else fucked me well. I’m in pain dear reader. That’s some very fierce hangover. Very very fierce. We met a Scottish chick and an Irish chick on the bar’s deck. One of us is British, so we nearly had the whole United Kingdom drinking together. The Irish one was super cool. The Scotswoman was crazy. Disturbingly scary crazy. We drank all together, and we were 3 remaining drunkards (+ the 2 girls) when 5am hit the clock. I came back home in a pitiful state. This morning, I woke up at 9am, just in time to realize that I should be on my desk already. I jumped into the shower, struggled to put some clothes on, and harshly made my way to the mill.

It’s 11.42, and it’ll be the longest 18mn of my life separating me from lunch. I’m thinking Viet style chopped chicken breasts for lunch. My wife is good at viet dishes. I’m definitely not going to brew this week-end. I’ll take a long rest. Well, thanks God it’s Gold’s day, so I can oversleep tomorrow morning.

See you later alligators,